Discussion Thread -- September 2017 -- 75 Word Writing Challenge

Hint, the big clue is in the title, Perp: Ring a Ring O'Sacrifice. ;) I admit word count meant the original phials in the pockets had to go, as did the hydra's sneezing, but I did manage to smuggle in "rose" in the first line, and falling -- even if not down -- at the end!

Sometimes I miss the most obvious of clues. I was fixated on that Hydra. Scary things they are, their spit is awful to get out of clothes. ;)

I was somewhat dismayed a few days after posting my entry "Dinner Bell" and I realised from the reviews that nobody could 'get' the relevant Nursery Rhyme.
That's why I had to do a quick reply (I think to Parson?) to name the rhyme.

I had a story about a man named Willie (with a winking eye) running through town in the evening, he was warning people to get their children safely to bed.

Wee Willie Winkie

Come on!!! Somebody must have got it before I felt obliged to name it :D
Words for Life - Wee Willie Winkie

I got it (unless I missed it out on the list by mistake)

I did think of including all the rhymes on the list as well, but decided that was too much like hard work. :D
 
Nope! In my defence, I've heard of the WWW name but the rhyme itself isn't one I know/can recite. I read Perp's list with interest as it told me some of the ones I didn't get, and among others I could kick myself for not getting Peter's round and round the garden, which I did know, and it would have been a contender for my vote if I had cottoned on. (My excuse -- I've no children, so I'm having to dredge up memories of the rhymes told to me REDACTED years ago!)

Thank you for the retrospective mention The Judge :notworthy:
 
A Japanese fairy tale, "The Bell of Mugen", in which a woman reluctantly gives a mirror to the priests to make a bell but when they try to melt it the mirror stays magically untouched, as she did not give it wholeheartedly.
That puts the rest of us to shame with our very Western European-centric tales! I've just found a version (here for anyone interested THE BELL OF MUGEN (a legend from Japan), Tell Me a Story) and thoroughly enjoyed it. Perhaps we ought to have a section where members can post brief summaries of fairy tales which aren't as well known to expand our horizons.

Thank you for the retrospective mention The Judge :notworthy:
I'm really sorry I didn't get it immediately. I liked your piece as a story, and it appeared to hit theme and genre, and I felt I should know what was going on but my memory came up a blank. :( (We really need a shoot-self-in-head smiley for these occasions!)
 
Congratulations, Ursa! That's one very emphatic win!!


Apologies for not doing my usual shortlistings and thanks last night. We were out gallivanting all evening (a lecture on the Dissolution of the Monasteries in Hampshire, though it was mainly about Hyde and Titchfield Abbeys, with Thomas Wriothesley -- aka Call-me-Risly -- as baddie-in-chief) and before and after there were a couple of things that came up that needed dealing with quickly, so I didn't have time to do anything but a speedy re-read of all the stories (fortunately I'd read them all twice before) and then vote.

I can only echo Phyrebrat, Parson and TDZ this month, that to me a good many of the stories failed to incorporate the genre and of those that did, quite a few appeared more re-tellings rather than the real events which lay behind the later stories, and then on top of that there were several whose stories I couldn't recognise, which made it difficult for me to assess or even understand them. :(

Anyhow, my vote went to Vaz, who I thought nailed genre and theme best, but I tussled for a while over Phyrebrat's three not-piggies (I clearly have a fondness for the wolf, as the story's one I've used in the past) and TDZ's Rip Van Winkle.

A pocketful of thanks for the mentions, shortlistings and near-things Cathbad, nixie, Parson, farntfar, Phyrebrat, CC, johnnyjet, Starbeast and Ursa, and a full ring of beautiful roses for the lovely votes Aber and Wruter!


Eek! There was me thinking I was a bit heavy-handed in pointing out the story, and it's clear I completely missed the boat with some people.

Hint, the big clue is in the title, Perp: Ring a Ring O'Sacrifice. ;) I admit word count meant the original phials in the pockets had to go, as did the hydra's sneezing, but I did manage to smuggle in "rose" in the first line, and falling -- even if not down -- at the end!
I think you may have fallen victim, in part, to the barrier of the shared language. In the States (at least in my experience) it is usually called "Ring Around..." I don't know if anyone else had this experience, but I didn't make the connection until my last read through before voting.
 
Thanks for the nice commentaries by Victoria Silverwolf, Parson, Perpetual Man, and Shyrka.

Thanks for the mentions by Peter V, LittleStar, and Starbeast (a finalist, too!).

And a special thanks to Old_Man_Steve_2016 and Ashleyne for actual votes!

Congratulations, Ursa, for a well-deserved win!
 
Congratulations indeed @Ursa major

And many many thanks @LittleStar for the vote.

And thanks also to @Cat's Cradle , @johnnyjet , @Starbeast , @Ursa major for your mentions and even shortlisting.

I have no pretensions to be a writer, so it's always a pleasant surprise when I find myself posting an entry for another month. It's always a real bonus if I make a shortlist, while to get a vote is stunning.
 
Life is strange.

I was more worried about my last line than I usually am, because it looked like an add on, with the previous line looking more like the punch line. Worse, it was only there to get the final important** word ("wind" as in "when the wind blows", disguised as "wind" as in "wind up").

So I was even more surprised than I might have been with the number of votes.


** - Important in the sense of being key to the (first verse of the) nursery rhyme:

Rock-a-bye, baby, in the treetop
When the wind blows the cradle will rock
When the bough breaks the cradle will fall
Down will come baby, cradle and all

(Key words underlined; ones that led to wordplay in italics.)

I was unable to get blows in there within the wordcount. :(
 
I hesitate to critique in the Discussion thread, but I have to confess that the last line did rather spoil the incredible wordplay for me, as to my mind it read as a knowing afterthought. It's a pity you couldn't have got "wind" in there earlier on in another context. Still, I seem to have been a minority of one in my carping! Ten votes and no one near!!
 
I hesitate to critique
It's not a critique; it's (almost) agreeing with me, which is always a good thing, particularly when it comes to giving the nod to my suggestions for next month's topic and genre... not that I have a clue what either of them will be at the moment....
 
I was somewhat dismayed a few days after posting my entry "Dinner Bell" and I realised from the reviews that nobody could 'get' the relevant Nursery Rhyme.

It took me a little while (and a little googling for the details) but I caught the Wee Willie bit straight away, so I don't think you need to worry too much. Once you know, things like his twitching eye are little bonuses!

Eek! There was me thinking I was a bit heavy-handed in pointing out the story, and it's clear I completely missed the boat with some people.

I thought yours was one of the more obvious ones actually and you shouldn't feel bad about the 'Round and round the garden one' - I definitely only got that because I have a four-year-old!
 
Congratulations Ursa!

I was mortified to find that I had left a (the) out of my story and I only had 74 words, so no excuse and no votes and no mentions which is only to be expected when you are such a poor proof reader. --- I rather liked my story otherwise.
 

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