Discussion Thread -- May 2016 75-word Writing Challenge

[Bowler1]

Thank you Ratsy and Starbeast for the votes - much appreciated. Some cool mentions too and each of these mean a lot too.

Well done StillLearning - victory is sweet, enjoy buddy.

 

[hopewrites]

*I see my phone ate my last post, so here it goes again*

Thanks for the vote @LittleStar !!
I'll be popping my entry up over in the crit thread later today (I prefer to do anything copy/paste from the laptop rather than try and make my phone understand how to do it.)
I'm pleased it went over as well as it did since I rushed it a bit convinced I wasn't the only one who had the phrase "tomorrow I'll..." Pop in as inspiration.

Well done StillLearning! Congratulations

 

[Cascade]

Congratulations Still learning.

I forgot to vote, so I will apologise to DG Jones, who would have got my vote had I been more organised.

I felt from the reviews this month that I didn't necessarily convey what I wanted to with my story. That is of course my fault, but in my head my protagonist was less suicide bomber and more Jesus figure. Whilst the hammering outside might have been the building of a scaffold or a guillotine, I figured it could just as easily be the making of a cross.

Martyrdom is the traditional route to sainthood amongst Abrahamic religions, whether it has been cheapened or ennobled by having been co-opted into secular politics, is a matter for further discussion.

 

[Starbeast]

Congratulations StilLearning​

Starbeast -- A cheerful, enthusiastic cry of optimism.

Best non-fiction: "The Way I See It" by Starbeast.

Aww, aren't you sweet. Thank you Lady Victoria, you made my evening. And may I say, I enjoyed yours very much too.

Phew, another bumper crop with fifty entries worthy of a win. But, blah, blah, blah, as the Beast would say.
The best of the best, imho: Hope, Bowler, Still Learning, Robert Mackay, Mosiax, Phyrebrat, Johnny Appleseed, Bob Snr, Ursa, Moonbat, Beasty and Her Honor. The one that struck a cord with me, although it was as tight a contest as I've seen, was Mr Orange. Well done everyone.

Thanks Droflet for the awesome mention and quote. "It's not, blah, blah, blah! Scotty, beam me up. These kids are getting out-of-hand. Once I'm aboard, nuke the site from orbit. Kirk out."

Short List: Starbeast

Vote StillLearning

Thank you Mosaix for the mention. You made my night. I enjoyed your story too.

Starbeast- "...and they will beat their swords into plowshares, their aircraft carriers into floating farm communes...etc." Can you imagine a world without competition, let alone strife? I can't come close to fathoming it, only God can. The Bible remains the best Sci-Fi epic ever written!

Firstly, nice to meet you Heijan Xavier. And second, thank you for your review. You nade my night. I try to be optimistic daily.

SB – The perfect take on the mediocrity of existence and that hope that is for the future. Tomorrow is going to be such an exciting place, one we always look towards, hope for, believe is coming, yet has not yet arrived. It will come sooner or later. I want my hover car.

Yes, I do too Perpetual Man. I still remember, reading about a wonderful future in grade school books, that promised a better world, with flying cars (I am NOT kidding). Anyway. Thanks PM for your review. You made my night. Your story was excellent.

It's so hard culling stories, for my lists. Another good month, everyone! So...

Shortlist:
hopewrites, Bowler1, Glen, Heijan Xavier, Remedy, TDZ, Starbeast, TJ

Thank you Cat's for the Short Listing. You made my night. I enjoyed your tale too.

Vote: Starbeast, not only because every tomorrow should have chocolate, but for capturing the essence of the contrast between how we view the present we have, and the tomorrows we wish for. For drole cynicism capped with lively and hope filled wit.

Thank you Lady Hope. You're another one who knew exactly what I was saying. I was very busy this month, and I couldn't think of anything amazing for a "TOMORROW STORY". All that came to mind was ugliness, tragedy and horror. It bummed me out. However......on the last day to submit an entry, I thought to myself....."When life squirts lemon juice in your eyes, scream out a happy song".......then an idea came to me. Based on my feelings. Heh heh.

Thank you Ratsy and Starbeast for the votes - much appreciated. Some cool mentions too and each of these mean a lot too.

Well done StillLearning - victory is sweet, enjoy buddy.

You are immensely WELCOME Bowler1. I found your wonderful story very touching. Keep up the awesomeness sir. And fire away!!!


Vote: "No more tomorrows" by BOWLER1


Very Short List (edited from Short List)


@Victoria Silverwolf
@Cat's Cradle
@Cathbad
@Venusian Broon
@chrispenycate
@willwallace
@Perpetual Man
@StilLearning
@Mr Orange
@ratsy
@Robert Mackay
@mosaix
@Johnny Appleseed
@Bob Senior
@johnnyjet
@Parson
@Ursa major
@Moonbat

 

[Dan Jones]

Congratulations, @StilLearning !!

Gosh, what a dolt. I meant to vote Saturday and everything just slipped away from me, and it's the first time I missed the poll. Apologies. For what it's worth, I would probably have voted for Robert Mackay's entry.

 

[Mr Orange]

oh, cr@p, it's the 31st already. how did that happen? for some reason i thought i had plent yof time to catch up on this thread, the stories and then vote. turns out i was horribly wrong. my apologies to the story that would have gotten my vote. (not sure who that was, but it could have been any!)

so winding the clock back to the day after 2 weeks before tomorrow, many thanks for all the lovely reviews of my story - as always your kind words only improved it!

many, many thanks for the mentions or listings short or long, @Cathbad, @HazelRah, @sinister42, @Moonbat, @Phyrebrat and @Starbeast

and many, many, many thanks for the votes @Droflet, @Heijan Xavier

my story stemmed from an argument i had with a mate about 25 years ago (although as we were 13 at the time we weren't outside a tavern and there was decidedly less stabbing)

i will endeavour to be less useless next month and try to manage both a story and a vote!

and finally, CONGRATULATIONS @StilLearning!!!

(and that isn't sarcastic!)

 

[ratsy]

Congrats StillLearning! Way to go

 

[Heijan Xavier]

Congratulations Stilllearning. You made my quarterfinal only to be edged out in an overtime shoot-out by Ms. Silverwolf. More about her below.

Your piece was clever, funny and a little dark. That seems to be the best way to achieve success here, not like those silly fools who write deep brooding prosetry about self-inflicted moral wounds. Speaking of whom...

My piece was quite simply about a sordid one night romance that is as repulsive tomorrow as it was enthralling and magnetic last night. I'm glad some folks could appreciate that emotional state. Thank you Cat's Cradle, Vaz, and Johnnyjet for mentioning it.

Most grateful thanks, of course, go to Ms. Silverwolf.

I'm going to go for "A Thousand Moments of Self-Loathing Clarity" by Heijan Xavier, which defied categorization.

Let's be honest, a vote from her is as good as a win, so I'm honored. More meaningful than the vote though was the comment that my work has "defied categorization." I can neither think of a better complement someone can receive for their work, nor a better person to receive it from. You have given me motivation and inspiration. Thank you again.

I also want to thank Parson, Luiglin, Glen and everyone else who appreciated my Soccer/Football Scoring system. I got the sense that most of this forum were British and, therefore, genetically predisposed to relate to such things. Sorry for the prejudice, especially for those who didn't understand it. Parson expressed his admiration for having the time to put together such a project, to which I responded that I don't have that kind of time. Sleep and work are suffering!

To those who appreciated it, next month the field will be expanded to 24 pieces in honor of the Euros!

Mr. Orange that shoe line at the end was the game winner for me.

 

[Phyrebrat]

...clever, funny and a little dark. That seems to be the best way to achieve success here, not like those silly fools who write deep brooding prosetry about self-inflicted moral wounds.

True! It would appear that the darkly humorous do well in the 75 worder - it's something @DG Jones and @HareBrain have talked to me about in the past. At the last London chrons get-together, Dan and I were talking about it. I was saying (cough - moaning) that the best I have done in the 75 challenge is with two 'comedy' entries (although one was very dark regarding Snow White...). However I think in the 300 word challenge you have a bit more space to set up and pitch, so I'd guess there are more variety of themes in those winner's entries.

I also find that melancholy, bittersweet stories (sometimes with a punchline about loss) often do well in these challenges.

pH

 

[ratsy]

Phyre, my best I think were comedic, and or the melancholy type: parents reflecting on lost children, dead spouse longing type thing.

Of course I choose to do the opposite often

 

[Shyrka]

Yeah, I thought I'd noticed a 'lost children' theme in a few of the challenges.

 

[Perpetual Man]

Here is the longer version of mine, before I cut it down to 75, I'd already pared it down to these 91 words and it was a struggle to go the rest of the way



When Tyrant Dargon sought surety for his future the gap-toothed, fly-bait hag prophesised: “You will die by tomorrow.”

Despite the knell of doom it gave him strength. He wenched the maidens, spinsters and brides; duelled their lovers – and they died.

In battle, but endlessly victorious, who could gainsay him? In character a priggish ass, his secret though: ‘tomorrow is always a day away.’

***

Saynt claimed his newly forged blade. “I name you for the hope to come, a brighter future, the light of a new day.

“I name you Tomorrow.”

 

[Luiglin]

True! It would appear that the darkly humorous do well in the 75 worder

Not from what I've seen.

 

[Perpetual Man]

With a few more minutes on my hand I thought I`d share just where the story came from (and infringe on my originality a little bit),

A loooong time ago I remember reading a short comic strip story in a UK anthology title (it was the reborn Eagle with photostrips if you must know!) There was a story that stood out in my mind, where it leads you down one route with its words, and then the payoff is that you are living under a misapprehension and there is a totally different interpretation that makes just as much sense.

This was my attempt at doing that, obviously the bad guy thinks that if tomorrow never comes he is safe, but the sword is called Tomorrow and that will do the job.

The Eagle story was soemthing along the lines of a man going to a fortune teller for a laugh, but she tells him that an arrow is coming to kill him. He feels as though it is all stupid and pays it no heed. But it slowly starts to eat away at him. In a pub someone refers to a set of darts as arrows, and it keeps snowballing inside him. It`s amazing how many arrows appear in the modern world, from street signs to posters, hands on a clock to graffitti. The more he sees the more paranoid he becomes, the crux coming when a flight of red arrows passes over.

He panics imagining one crashing, and runs right in front of a van that hits and kills him.

The fan has a logo on it `ANNE ARROW FLORIST`

 

[Calliopenjo]

Since we're sharing, I thought I would explain my story a bit.

My tale comes from the mind of a character who is attempting to skip the inevitable appearance of tomorrow because that was when something catastrophic happened. A time machine was created, therefore, to skip that horrible day. Hence, the character sitting and going through these thoughts.

 

[Bob Senior]

Starbeast, just noticed my name on your "very short list", thank you very much, made my day. I hate to see these things end every month, but how else would we know if our efforts were appreciated. Thanks again.
Bob

 

[Starbeast]

oh, cr@p, it's the 31st already. how did that happen?

many, many thanks for the mentions or listings short or long, @Cathbad, @HazelRah, @sinister42, @Moonbat, @Phyrebrat and @Starbeast

and many, many, many thanks for the votes @Droflet, @Heijan Xavier

my story stemmed from an argument i had with a mate about 25 years ago (we were 13, we weren't outside a tavern and less stabbing)

You're very welcome Mr Orange. No worries about missing time here (so-to-speak), your own story effort did make my List. As for myself, I almost didn't enter, because I would only think think of doom & gloom, and I wasn't in the mood for that. BUT, within the final hours, I thought of something.

Here is the longer version of mine, before I cut it down to 75, I'd already pared it down to these 91 words and it was a struggle to go the rest of the way

“I name you Tomorrow.”

Well done PM, you're original "cut" did make my list, Because it still conveyed the premise. The complete story is icing on the cake.

Starbeast, just noticed my name on your "very short list", thank you very much, made my day. I hate to see these things end every month, but how else would we know if our efforts were appreciated. Thanks again.
Bob

You are immensely welcome Bob. Your tale reeked of excellence, and filled the room with an entertainingly sweet aroma of spicy cuteness. Pardon me while I open a window.

 

[TheDustyZebra]

Here is the longer version of mine, before I cut it down to 75, I'd already pared it down to these 91 words and it was a struggle to go the rest of the way



When Tyrant Dargon sought surety for his future the gap-toothed, fly-bait hag prophesised: “You will die by tomorrow.”

Despite the knell of doom it gave him strength. He wenched the maidens, spinsters and brides; duelled their lovers – and they died.

In battle, but endlessly victorious, who could gainsay him? In character a priggish ass, his secret though: ‘tomorrow is always a day away.’

***

Saynt claimed his newly forged blade. “I name you for the hope to come, a brighter future, the light of a new day.

“I name you Tomorrow.”

Nope, I think this one worked much better in 75 words! That required you to shave it down to the very essence, which was terrific.

 

[chrispenycate]

It seems when I get really silly
(Something I can do, believe me)
Shortlist mentions, will he, nill he,
No serious attempts achieve me

And, to celebrate the matter
June's dare has awoken in me
An idea, mad as a hatter
Must write it fast, that it herein be.

My thanks to Heijan, hope and Starbeast
Phyrebrat and more, The Dusty Zebra,
For listings, long list at the least
Arrivé un peu près là.

But extra special to Mad Alice
Earning the title, vote donating,
No expectation from the palace
Nor thought of such was I awaiting.

And those who dared to prereviewing
Shyrka, Victoria, Perp, Heijan,
My gratitude, too - trust you're not rueing
Having to like all we imagine.

 

[Ray McCarthy]

Mine was close to 150 before I pared it down.