Pacing between big scenes

[James118]

In my present PiP (polish in progress), I have two important scenes practically next to each other. One is small scale, but has a massive impact on the main character and some of the story's themes, and the other is larger, but with similar effects.

So in the first, the main character - a human boy - is in an orcish city, where his guide has told him to stay hidden. In need of the toilet after his long journey to the city, he finds one in the house of a doctor helping him. But there's an orc in there, who verbally abuses him before revealing himself to be a thief, trying to mug the boy. The boy is speechless with fear, confusion, and anger as the orc saunters off.

A couple of scenes later, the boy is brought before the city's ruler; though this orc has a general dislike of humans, he lets the boy stay, provided he keeps his nose totally clean and abides by all of the city's laws.

Two big scenes. Currently, they are connected by a smaller scene, in which the boy's guide takes him to the administrative centre of the city to see the leader. That said, calling it a scene might be a misnomer; if a scene is indeed a building block of the plot, containing a single plot development, then this isn't one. There are no changes to the plot, they just go from A to B. There's dialogue, yes, but it's focused on the guide's anxiety with getting the boy into the building, hiding him under a long cloak, and what might happen if he's discovered. It's world- and character-building, sure, but it doesn't add to the plot. So, in the tracked changes, I cut all the dialogue and made it a brief trip from A to B, in which the guide indirectly (i.e. not in speech marks ...right?) talks about the city's hostility to humans, betraying his anxiety through that and his body language. Then they're up the tower to meet the leader.

So a scene is cut. But now I have two important scenes next to each other. I'm wondering whether or not the pacing will be too intense. But, as I discovered to my surprise, neither scene is particularly long. So I might just stick with those changes I made.

Also, I've yet to read them both through with the changes, together. So I should probably do that to see how the whole thing feels. But yeah. Pacing is annoying.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

I'd wait until you finish everything and then review - I often shift things around a little for pacing and continuity. Plus, presumably you have beta readers lined up - they're great at spotting that sort of thing.

 

[zmunkz]

If you think in terms of Swain's scene-sequel format, there might be a case for keeping your transition scene as an opportunity for the character to react/process what has happened in big scene #1, prior to confronting big scene #2.

Also, as far as I am concerned, the emotional journey of the character is the thing that most moves a story forward, more so than "the plot" (although obviously the two co-exists and mingle). You say this transitional scene contains some character-building of the MC's anxiety as well as helping to set the stakes... to me that sounds very much like plot-advancing stuff. Obviously I don't know your story, so this may not apply at all, but just something to think about. IMO a story isn't really Thing 1 happens, then Thing 2 happens, then Thing 3 happens... to me a story is the emotional experience of a viewpoint character living through Thing 1 (changing and reflecting), then living through Thing 2 (changing and reflecting), etc. For me those little scenes that glue things together is where a lot of the emotional journey comes through.

 

[The Big Peat]

What zmunkz just said.

 

[James118]

If you think in terms of Swain's scene-sequel format, there might be a case for keeping your transition scene as an opportunity for the character to react/process what has happened in big scene #1, prior to confronting big scene #2.

Also, as far as I am concerned, the emotional journey of the character is the thing that most moves a story forward, more so than "the plot" (although obviously the two co-exists and mingle). You say this transitional scene contains some character-building of the MC's anxiety

His guide.

as well as helping to set the stakes... to me that sounds very much like plot-advancing stuff. Obviously I don't know your story, so this may not apply at all, but just something to think about. IMO a story isn't really Thing 1 happens, then Thing 2 happens, then Thing 3 happens... to me a story is the emotional experience of a viewpoint character living through Thing 1 (changing and reflecting), then living through Thing 2 (changing and reflecting), etc. For me those little scenes that glue things together is where a lot of the emotional journey comes through.

Yes. I see the characters evolving in response to events, reacting and in turn usually triggering new events. And you might be onto something with having the boy react to what he was just privy to: he was just abused by an orc, which is intended to trigger his resentment for at least those of them that are forcing him to have to keep himself hidden, making his guide anxious, etc. I should elaborate a little more on that in this transition scene. Head bent low, unable to talk to his only friend, burning under this long cloak with both the heat of the muggy spring/summer day and now the humiliation of this encounter gnawing at his thoughts.