How to Become an Author, in 5 Incredibly Difficult Steps

Malloriel

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Before vicodin vertigo pulls me under, I wanted to share a link to a recent Cracked.com article entitled (as you can guess) How to Become an Author, in 5 Incredibly Difficult Steps. I think the author does an excellent job of injecting an equal measure of cynical humor and helpless abandon to the craft to a sobering dose of personal reality and experience within the publishing world. I think that for anyone who has spent any amount of time on a manuscript, something familiar can be found in his treatment of our chosen art.
 
As someone deep in the throes of editing (and self-doubt) I especially liked:

"Learning to edit is, quite simply, learning to hate yourself word by word."
 
I started reading it, then decided not to risk depressing myself. :p Love that site anyhow.
 
I do love Cracked.com, it's my daily dose of interesting facts, cynicism and inventive swearing.
 
I can see how the tone of the article could be a bit of a downer, Seaside, but it doesn't read as though it's designed to be that way. It's someone who acknowledges the trials and tribulations, the things we as writers have to fight against, which include ourselves, and that from an outside perspective others might think that the whole thing was a waste of time and effort, and despite all that we continue on, because it's what we are.

I don't find the editing process to bring me to hate myself, but the imagery is fantastic. Yes, there are passages I feel are the most shining examples of literary perfection, and as such I hesitate to cut them, I stand around hemming and hawing as long as possible to see if there's a way to salvage the section, but ultimately know that if I could write something that splendiferous in the first place, I can write something even more spectaculating to replace it.
 
Love how many Cracked readers there are here... in my morning interwebz routine I visit it before coming to the Chrons :)

"Editing is just like writing, except hateful, and in reverse."

Hubby read this out to me and we both had a good chuckle. I have to agree with you about the tone, Malloriel, I loved the way he finished it.

Edit: Oh and Cul, thank you for the link to terribleminds! I just finished reading a bunch of his 25s. Laugh-out-loud good advice.
 
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I like this thread - I'm going to read those pages. I also really like Rudy Rucker's "Writer's Toolkit". And Jeff Noon's "Literary Manifesto". I can't post hyperlinks yet, but a search engine should take you right to them.
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Yeah, sometimes a passage cannot be tweaked any more, is a really 'tight write', and follows from preceding so well...

Snag is it goes the wrong way or, worse, paints you into a corner...

For better or worse, the only thing to do is back-track and tear out the whole chunk.

Sometimes such can be recycled, but sometimes you must sob and let it sink into the pile of superceded drafts...

( Us English 'English' speakers spell *that* with a 'c' ;-)
 
I love it when writers provide the cynical, humorous looks at how hateful writing can be for the writer themselves. Love the new pic, btw, Culhwch.

That's what I enjoyed about Anne Lamont's book, Bird by Bird. It was a great read.

Editing can be a pain, but I also enjoy it because you get to see your work get better. It's like cleaning a messy house that you know under all that clutter is actually a nice place. And even better, it's your place.
 

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