Commas and Clauses

[Nath6349]

Fairly boring question about commas and clauses I'm afraid, but I can't figure out which of the two examples below is correct (or best):

1 - I shall spend the weekend hiking amongst the hills, but tonight, I stay with Mr and Mrs Smith.
2 - I shall spend the weekend hiking amongst the hills, but, tonight, I stay with Mr and Mrs Smith.

Strictly speaking, I think (2) is correct because I think "tonight" is a clause. It could be replaced with "when I get home" or something. If it were a matter of style, I think (1) looks better, fewer commas.

I am about to edit a novella where I have done (1) and (2) inconsistently.

Thanks in advance.

 

[JS Wiig]

I would say neither:

I shall spend the weekend hiking amongst the hills, but tonight I stay with Mr and Mrs Smith.

 

[HareBrain]

Strictly speaking, I think (2) is correct because I think "tonight" is a clause. It could be replaced with "when I get home" or something. If it were a matter of style, I think (1) looks better, fewer commas.

Strictly speaking, you might be right, but if you're prepared to go with style, I do think @JS Wiig 's is better, and it's what I would write myself.

 

[ckatt]

Hi,
Some may call the question boring, but I too spend a lot of time pondering my comma use.
One thing you should note is that there are many situations where commas are optional, particularly when it comes to introductory phrases.
In your examples, I wouldn't say that either is explicitly correct. But I agree there are too many commas for smooth reading in number 2.

I have to agree with @JS Wiig. Their re-write is much easier on the eyes and also correct.

You may also want to refresh yourself on some grammar terms. "Tonight" is not a clause. A clause must have a subject and a predicate.

Hope that helps

 

[Biskit]

Yup, go with @JS Wiig's answer.
Option 1 just seems wrong.
Option 2, I might go with this if there were some need to really emphasise "tonight", although if I wanted that I would actually go with @JS Wiig's version and put "tonight" in italic.

(caveat: I learned formal grammar decades ago for French, Latin and classical Greek, but rather less for English, so I make this stuff up as I go along.)

 

[JS Wiig]

You may also want to refresh yourself on some grammar terms. "Tonight" is not a clause. A clause must have a subject and a predicate.

Tonight—in this case—should be an adverb, modifying “stay”.

Definition of TONIGHT

on this present night or the night following this present day… See the full definition

www.merriam-webster.com

 

[AE35Unit]

I would write:
I shall spend the weekend hiking amongst the hills, but tonight I stay with Mr and Mrs Smith.
No second comma. But also I would change the second part to "but tonight I shall stay/am staying with Mr and Mrs Smith "

 

[Nath6349]

Strictly speaking, you might be right, but if you're prepared to go with style, I do think @JS Wiig 's is better, and it's what I would write myself.

In endorsing @JS Wiig's suggestion, you used my Option 1.

I do agree and see the merit with his suggestion and the point about emphasis, but this made me smile.

 

[Steve Harrison]

I know nothing about grammar and I'm afraid if I learned now it would interfere with my writing.

 

[JS Wiig]

I know nothing about grammar and I'm afraid if I learned now it would interfere with my writing.

Kinda like Stephen King and plot?

 

[Steve Harrison]

Kinda like Stephen King and plot?

I think King's plotting is fine, although he does struggle with endings in quite a few of his books. He's a terrific writer, though, and one of my favourites.

 

[tinkerdan]

There is only one comma in @JS Wiig 's sentence.
The #1 Sentence has two.
And I think the the advantage of @JS Wiig 's way is that it is a smoother read allowing the reader to insert any extra pauses if they feel they need to be there.

#2 is definitely out; because even my style guides hate it.

 

[JS Wiig]

I think King's plotting is fine, although he does struggle with endings in quite a few of his books. He's a terrific writer, though, and one of my favourites.

King may say plot is a good way to ruin a story, but I get the impression he is acutely aware of its significance to the craft.