Character Introductions - HELP!?!?

[BT Jones]

Since these characters have their identities to a point removed, perhaps referring to them by patient numbers instead would instill a feeling of these folks have lost themselves. Ironic nicknames also work, too. (For instance, you could call the angry man "Smiling Bob" or something similarly contradictory and snarky.)

Yes, Mike, there is a definite potential to do so. I think the key difference is the other 5 characters have been awake for an hour or so more than the main character, and have already adopted names. The biggest issue here is that this is act 2 of a 3 act story and act 1 has already portrayed this awakening process with a different set of characters in a slower, more organic way, including the derivation of names. So as not to repeat myself and try and make the story quick and punchy from the get-go, I wanted a more expedient version of the process 2nd time around. I appreciate your insight though. I guess only SFFer reaction will tell me whether it works or not.

 

[DLCroix]

Yes, it is like a math matrix. Or relationships and functions. A with B. A with C. A with D. B with A. B with C. B with D. Etc. A simple drawing also serves to study positions on stage. You can draw arrows to better understand who is in front of whom, or if she has it on her right or left. And as you go, it should be possible to come up with details of that scenario and the participants. Obviously you don't need to put all of that on the page. That's where you cut or select the one with the most substance. For example (let's assume we have a good budget) I imagined that one of the guys was Ewan McGregor. Another could be Ethan Hawke. And even if he is an omniscient narrator you should at least see if your girl likes them or not. Because one may have amnesia, but those details do not escape one. He, he. "Oh, can you help me remember?" "Yeah, it looks like I've seen you somewhere. Hey, yeah, wasn't it at your cousin Sarah's marriage. That David, a jerk, huh?" "What David? Do I have a cousin? Who got married, you say?" Normally the conversations of people with amnesia tend to be confusing and fragmentary. But Eros is always present in one way or another. Seduction, the search for empathy. Like castaways trying to assert themselves from the same trunk.

 

[JNG01]

I'm interested in the decision to switch to 3rd omni mid-chapter (if I'm understanding the original post correctly). Is the naming the only part of that transition hanging you up? Or, asked the other way around, how did you handle the other aspects of moving the reader from seeing through a limited perspective into seeing 'from above'?

 

[DLCroix]

I'm interested in the decision to switch to 3rd omni mid-chapter

Easy dear. Taking things for granted. In the El Capitán Alatriste series the MC, Iñigo Balboa, tells the story from a POV first, which is obviously limited. But, depending on the needs, Pérez-Reverte makes Iñigo reflect on things that happen in court, on battlefields or interrogations of the Inquisition where he is not. Which is to the limit of being a POV in third. And it works

 

[JNG01]

Easy dear. Taking things for granted. In the El Capitán Alatriste series the MC, Iñigo Balboa, tells the story from a POV first, which is obviously limited. But, depending on the needs, Pérez-Reverte makes Iñigo reflect on things that happen in court, on battlefields or interrogations of the Inquisition where he is not. Which is to the limit of being a POV in third. And it works

Please don't take for granted that I'm assuming it doesn't work or that it shouldn't be done. I'm just interested in how the OP managed the rest of the mechanics of the switch. How to manage the character names optimally seems like it could be tied into how the rest of it was accomplished.

 

[DLCroix]

I wouldn't complicate it, dear. Because it's just literature. Obviously the happiest situation you can find yourself in is when the muse gives you the visualization of a scene with everything armed. So if you see it naturally in your mind and can understand it without problems, it is a good sign that this will be understood by the reader as well. So, I recommend that if possible you take note of the maximum details that appear. And it's a somewhat forgotten subject these days, but for some reason in the past writers even knew dactylography, allowing them to catch the most detail much more quickly than we do today. Hopefully this will help you. Because at least as I see it literature should be something simple, something similar to cement. Obviously, from there a small house or a large building comes out, it will depend on other factors. One of those is the POV that we are analyzing. I also advise that you never lose sight that if you have fun, the reader will also have fun. In a way it is like playing, we must never lose that spirit that we had as children.

 

[BT Jones]

I'm interested in the decision to switch to 3rd omni mid-chapter (if I'm understanding the original post correctly). Is the naming the only part of that transition hanging you up? Or, asked the other way around, how did you handle the other aspects of moving the reader from seeing through a limited perspective into seeing 'from above'?

Sorry, missed the last the few replies on this thread until just now. Yes, initially, it is only the naming that was bugging me and how to cut straight to a scenario where everyone sort of knows each other to a degree, so as to avoid a repeat of another "what shall we call each other" scene like I had in Act 1. Really, there's probably more than that bugging me that I haven't realised yet. I guess posting it in critique will probably help me appreciate the things that weren't bugging me yet.

 

[DLCroix]

Sorry, missed the last the few replies on this thread until just now.

He, he, he. I already told you, "This is the consequence of the breweries reopening." But it's okay, the wait was too long, and they will soon also lift up the lockdown to us. At that glorious day I hope at least that no one appears asking: "Where did that woman go?"

Question: is the thread I just saw in the critics the one I think it is? Never mind. Let's go to work!
Tea?

 

[BT Jones]

He, he, he. I already told you, "This is the consequence of the breweries reopening." But it's okay, the wait was too long, and they will soon also lift up the lockdown to us. At that glorious day I hope at least that no one appears asking: "Where did that woman go?"

Question: is the thread I just saw in the critics the one I think it is? Never mind. Let's go to work!
Tea?

Yes it is, @DLCroix. Not that I'm sitting here wringing my hands waiting (honest), but so far 2 likes, 23 views, zero comments. The pessimist in me is thinking that SFFer's are just far too polite to say anything if they haven't got anything nice to say (just like I was raised!!). Hopefully at least 1 or 2 people pass some comments. Genuinely keen to gauge whether people think it works or not. If not, I guess I'll just have to interpret the deafening silence - and I'm notoriously bad at that!!!

And, yes, amen to breweries and pubs, even though I've not set foot in one for eons. Even in Queensland Australia, where (touch wood) things are relatively open, I am reluctant to risk it. I guess I'm just too used to drinking at home in front of a show!!

 

[DLCroix]

Take it easy, if I'm already reading it, and I guarantee that I'm a deadly girl when I analyze something. Calm down, I repeat. In a few minutes the report. Now let me do my job, please. Everything will turn out well, you will see. Or as they say in The Warrior Nun: "You must trust your team."

 

[JohnM]

Generally, a room full of new people is just that. Only those who speak matter. The others are background characters that may or may not move the story along by doing, or not doing, important things. Get away from math thinking and visualize the scene and make it flow in a natural way. Sometimes scenes need to be cut because they sidetrack the reader and/or do not contribute much to the story. Watch any superhero TV show, count the scene changes and the number of characters at the start of each scene.