A big surprise

[logan_run]

1976. was a tense time in American history. The country that started with 13 colonies was celebrating it's bicentennial. It was also another presidential election. it was only two year's ago President Richard Nixon became the first leader of America to resign in disgrace over the Watergate hotel break in. Governor Reagan of California had much to overcome belonging to the same party as former president Nixon. Somehow the former movie actor defeated President Ford for the nomination then went on to defeat Jimmy carter for the general election. Now Reagan in a few months. would be America's 39th president .One day in December 4th 1976 president elect Ronald Reagan received a call from his one time rival. Gerald Ford come over to D.C. I have something to show you Ronnie. well. Reagan thought Ford wanted to discuss the incoming inauguration. Ronald Reagan a few days after the phone call met with Gerald Ford and a handful of secret service agents in a tunnel under the white house. Jerry. Reagan said with a smile I did not know you liked to collect old model kits.no. no. Ford replied replied,This is no toy model kit it:s a ufo. A u.f.o? yes mr. Reagan it crashed in the mid 1950"s.

 

[logan_run]

It"s must of been piloted by midget:s its so small. perhaps so. Mr. Reagan they died soon after but ever since then we have been instigating u.f.o.

 

[chrispenycate]

1976.

No full stop (period). Or if you must have the separation, capital (upper case) Was.

was a tense time in American history. The country that

had (pluperfect)

started with 13 colonies was celebrating it's bicentennial. It was also another presidential election.

Capital 'It' and preferably pluperfect 'It had been'.

it was only two year's

years (plural, not possessive, no apostrophe)

ago President Richard Nixon became the first leader of America to resign in disgrace over the Watergate hotel break in. Governor Reagan of California had much to overcome

Comma

belonging to the same party as former president Nixon. Somehow the former movie actor defeated President Ford for the nomination then went on to defeat Jimmy

Capital 'Carter'

carter for the general election. Now Reagan

Comma

in a few months.

No full stop

would be America's 39th president. One day

possibly a comma, but I don't feel the 'one day' is justified if you give the date.

[/COLOR] in December 4th

Comma

1976 president elect Ronald Reagan received a call from his one time

Hyphen 'one-time', perhaps?

rival. Gerald Ford come over to D.C. I have something to show you Ronnie. well. Reagan thought Ford wanted to discuss the incoming inauguration. Ronald Reagan

Comma

a few days after the phone call

Comma

met with Gerald Ford and a handful of secret service agents in a tunnel under the white house. Jerry.

Quotation marks around the 'Jerry', with a comma rather than a period.

Reagan said with a smile

Comma, open quotes

I did not know you liked to collect old model kits.

Close quotes, capitals for No. No

no. no. Ford replied replied,This is no toy model kit it:s

it's

a ufo.

Close quotes, then open again for other speaker

A u.f.o?

Close and reopen quotes

Yes

Comma, probably capital for 'Mr.

mr. Reagan

Comma

it crashed in the mid 1950"s. It"s

It

must of been piloted by midgets its

apostrophe (contraction of 'it is', not possessive pronoun)

so small. perhaps so. Mr. Reagan they died soon after but ever since then we have been instigating u.f.o.

Um. It doesn't stop there. Research, investigations?

Unless you are deliberately trying to make the speakers seem practically illiterate (which was not true for Reagan - I never met Ford) there are too many punctuation errors. And the bit we are given is tell, and information we should already have (apart from moving the UFO to DC) So I have probably missed a couple of corrections.

 

[Plucky Novice]

@logan_run where does this fit in your story? I'm not sure if it's prologue, first chapter or something later on.

 

[Onyx]

President Richard Nixon became the first leader of America to resign in disgrace over the Watergate hotel break in.

How many other leaders could possibly resign over Watergate? He's the only leader involved in Watergate.

 

[Jay Greenstein]

Impossible to critique because it's not a story. It's the author transcribing themself talking about the setting, with none of the elemets of writing fiction. There's dialog, here and there, but no conversation, and no quotation marks or paragraphing. And, as has alreasdy been shown, you've not edited it significantly for such basic things as beginning a sentence with a capital letter.

In short, you need to work on raising your writing skills, generally, so far as paragraphing, apostraphe usage, and such. And, given that writing fiction is very different from the kind of writing we all are taught in our school years, you need to add knowledge of such things as the elements of a scene and how to manage them.