Best way to kill someone... painlessly?

[A. S. Behsam]

The most painless would be beheading him. Even if it's violent, it's painless.

 

[RJM Corbet]

Boleyn! Cleves was intelligent enough (and ill-looking enough...) to stay alive.

Thanks Judge

The most painless would be beheading him. Even if it's violent, it's painless.

Yes, but with a light sword that's easier said than done, even if you aim right and the person doesn't move ...

 

[Mouse]

Is that actually realistic? I've always thought it a Hollywood thing that isn't actually true.

Yeah it is true. I had someone ask me the same question cos I have a character knocked out by a single blow to the jaw. Note - it has to be the jaw, not a random smack any old where like in films and what have you.

I did karate for a good few years and one of the first things they teach you, so that you don't do it in class, is where to strike someone along their jawline to instantly knock them out. It sends a load of impulses to the brain that just makes you pass out.

There, see. Not just a pretty face.

By the way, my very first thought was chop off their head. Thinking about it, I have a mercy killing in my first YA book and there I'd just gone with the knife-to-the-heart thing.

 

[The Judge]

Ah! Another useful nugget of information to tuck away. (Though why don't boxers do that, then?)

 

[Mouse]

(Though why don't boxers do that, then?)

Can't help you there! Maybe it's more of a martial arts thing. *shrugs* Or maybe they try and miss? It does have to be a particular spot.

 

[ctg]

Ah! Another useful nugget of information to tuck away. (Though why don't boxers do that, then?)

Because they know how to fight. It's in their blood, rooted deeply into their backbone when they go in the ring. Hence they're called fighters.

 

[RJM Corbet]

Ah! Another useful nugget of information to tuck away. (Though why don't boxers do that, then?)

Maybe they try, but it's tricky with the other guy dancing around, moving his head, avoiding punches.

I think the gloves are more to protect the hitter's hands than the hittee's head ...

 

[TheDustyZebra]

My first inclination would be to sever the carotid artery, with a knife straight down into that little collarbone indentation. I used to study Ninjitsu (note, I didn't actually do it, I just studied it a lot), and that's the one piece that sticks in my brain on how to kill instantly and quietly. Quietly = no screaming in pain, hence painlessly, I assume.

Or my books on Ninjitsu may have been full of it. I never actually tried this maneuver, though I did want to be a ninja when I grew up.

 

[Boneman]

Thanks TDZ, remind me not to upset you... If you go straight down (as opposed to across) I think you'd hint the aortic arch, which would bleed even more than the carotid. But if it's painless, that would be excellent.

 

[Gary Compton]

Any chance of a thread on how to make cup cakes. This thread is depressing me!!

 

[RJM Corbet]

Any chance of a thread on how to make cup cakes ...

With or without cyanide: a swift but agonising death, like being burnt from inside.

Arsenic: permanent cripple, if you survive.

Strychnine: amount of a sugar grain enough to cause convulsions that snap your own spine, before you die of respiratory failure.

Cut my carotoid anyday ...

 

[Boneman]

Any chance of a thread on how to make cup cakes. This thread is depressing me!!

I did a search and 25 threads mention cupcakes, but there isn't one dedicated to them...

 

[Gary Compton]

There's hundreds and thousands me old muffin

 

[AnyaKimlin]

good idea Gary kill him with cupcakes.

 

[RJM Corbet]

Boneman, this is all your fault

 

[Gary Compton]

There is this http://killercupcakes.webs.com/

or

 

[JoanDrake]

Maybe they try, but it's tricky with the other guy dancing around, moving his head, avoiding punches.

I think the gloves are more to protect the hitter's hands than the hittee's head ...

Yes and no. The gloves are used because the old bare knuckles used to turn both opponents into bloody messes, both from the hands and the head, but they're now seen as the main reason so many fighters get brain damage since they're so much better at causing concussions.

Fighters are taught to "shrug" or "slip" punches, turning their heads with it as it lands so as to dissipate the force. It's always seemed to me like this would be almost impossible, but I've been told it's no harder than a ballet dancer learning not to turn her head with her body as she twirls to avoid dizziness. My understanding is that if any fighter was ever hit like Rocky hit Mr T even once the doctor would probably call the fight then and there.

And waitamint, this guy is willing to die so as not to slow his friends down but they don't trust him not to crack under torture? Otherwise why not give him a weapon and tell him to sell his life dearly holding off the pursuers?

Finally, I'm not really sure that having a lot of discussion over the matter is a good idea after all. Yes, it might develop character but it could very quickly become Pythonesque. Either, "...well, look, really, why don't we just kill Carstairs, he's such a bloody dick." or "I'm really feeling much better now fellas, I think I could keep up very..." at which point they break the other leg.

 

[RJM Corbet]

... it could very quickly become Pythonesque ... at which point they break the other leg.

Hurt what he loves: eat his goldfish

 

[PTeppic]

Opening any of the main arteries and the victim will bleed out in a short period of time, preceded by a noticeable drop in blood-pressure. They'll spend most of the time unconsciuous. Carotid, brachial and femoral are relatively easy, sub-clavial (as noted by TDZ) is perhaps slightly trickier.

Not sure how realistic it was but one of last year's films had a victim being "kindly" killed with a straight razor to the forearm, then being held as he bled out...

 

[AnyaKimlin]

I know he could serve cupcakes to the enemy in exchange he can take his friend out of the situation and nurse him better.