Babylon 5 Meets Star Trek: The Next Generation


Well-Known Member
Apr 23, 2004
I found this article on the net and I think everyone will get a kick out of this. Here it is:

Babylon 5 Meets Star Trek: The Next Generation
By dboulter(at)

Sorry about this, folks, but I got caught up in the B-5 vs ST
thread and this was the only way I knew to escape!!

Location: A room. Lighting: Low. Door Chimes sound.

Bester: Enter.
A man enters and smiles a familiar smarmy smile.
Bester: Who are you?
Morden: What do you want?
Bester: What do you mean?
Morden: What do you want?
Bester looks at him intently then smiles a shiver-down-the-back
producing smile.

Tech 1: Commander, there's something coming through the jump gate.
Ivanova: Is there anything scheduled?
Tech 1: No, Commander.
Ivanova: What the hell? Ivanova to Sheridan, come to C&C immediately.
Tech 1: What is it?
Ivanova: Damned if I know. It has some sort of writing on it, though,
NCC1701-F. Any Idea what that means?

Picard: Commander LaForge, report. What happened?
LaForge: I don't know Captain. Best I can say is we went through
some sort of portal.
Riker: We need more than that Jordi.
LaForge: I'm on it. You have to give me some time, Commander.
Riker: We only have one hour, you know that, LaForge.
LaForge: Aye, sir.
Picard (looking at B-5 on view screen): What do you make of it No.1?
Riker: It's rotating, so they don't seem to have artificial gravity.
They can't be too advanced a civilization. Data, what are you
picking up on sensors.
Data: It is a space station, sir. Sensors show 252,142 life forms -
most of them human, sir.
Picard: Human? Hail them, Mr. Worf.
Worf: Aye, sir. Suggest we go to yellow alert, Captain.
Picard: Yellow alert? Why is that?
Worf: I don't know, sir, it's what I always say.
They are answering our hail, sir.
Picard: On screen.

Sheridan: This is Captain John Sheridan of Earth Alliance Station
Babylon-5. How may we help you?
Picard: I am Jean-Luc Picard of the Federation Starship Enterprise.
Did you say 'Earth Alliance'?
Sheridan: Yes I did.
Picard: This may sound strange to you, but what is the Star Date?
Sheridan: Star Date? This is 2259, the year the great war came upon
us all.
Picard motions to Worf to cut the audio.
Picard: Well, what do you make of it.
Data: We appear to have crossed over into a parallel universe.
However, our crossover seems to have produced a time shift as well.
Troi: Captain?
Picard: Yes, Deanna?
Troi: Captain, I am sensing a great deal of dislike for us in this
Universe. I think we should get out of it quickly.
Worf: Another ship is coming through to normal space. Suggest we
raise shields. You heard what he said about a great war, sir?
Picard: Very well Mr. Worf, Raise shields.
Worf: Shields will not raise, Captain.
LaForge: I'm working on it, Captain.


Ivanova: Did you see them, Captain, they all appear to be wearing
Sheridan: Yes, and they appear to be human as well - at least most
of them. Rather impolite of them to turn their backs on
us in the middle of a conversation, don't you think. Now what
was that he said about a Federation? It seems to ring a bell.
Get Garibaldi up here right away! I seem to recall that he
watches old videos and there's something just not right about
Tech 1: Something coming through the jump gate. It's Earth Alliance.
A Psi-Corps officer wishes to talk to you, Captain.
Sheridan: Put him on.
Bester: Good Day, Captain Sheridan.
Sheridan: Mister Bester. What can we do for you?
Bester: We have received word of a rogue telepath. She is on that
ship. We want her.


Turbo lift opens as Enterprise crew watch exchange between B5 and

Scott: I canna believe it. It's Chekov.
Picard: What are you doing here Captain Scott.
Scott: Call me Scotty. I dinna ken, but I've been on every other
Enterprise. Probably something to do with the ratings, laddie.
What's Chekov doing there?
Picard: Who's Chekov?
Scott: I used to work with him on the Original Enterprise. He hardly
seems to have aged a day.
Picard: Computer: Bring up the file on Federation Officer Chekov.
Computer: By your command!
Riker: LaForge!
LaForge: I'm working on it, sir.
Troi: We really should get out of here. We are not liked in this
Universe. Really not liked. And I don't want to go with that man.
He seems to feel that I shouldn't pop in and out of peoples minds.
Let's go. Now!
LaForge: I'm not sure we can. I've found the problem. None of our
technobabble devices work here.
Picard: What are you saying?
Data: What the Commander is saying, is that techobabble will not work
in this Universe, Captain. We are stuck with obeying the laws
of Physics. Only 58.5% of our ships' systems will work here.
Picard: Good God!
Riker: How about a particle of the week? Can that get us out?
Data: No sir. And it gets worse.
Picard: Worse?
LaForge: What Data is trying to say, sirs, is that in this Universe
there is continuity and . . .
All: Continuity?!
Data: And character growth and development
All (in horror): Character growth and development?!
Picard: Set course, warp factor 9, Engage. We have to get back to
our own universe, this Babylon-5 universe is beyond us.
Riker: It's not working and that man Bester is approaching. He's grinning.
Troi: Maybe if I apologized to everyone who's mind I've invaded???
LaForge: We're stuck here, Captain - there's no getting away from them.
We're stuck in a universe with Babylon-5!
Picard: Curse you, Straczynski!

Once again my most insincere apologies. Now that you know what would
happen, can we get off the Enterprise vs B5 merry-go-round?

And here is the link:

After reading this, the article has reaffirmed why Babylon 5 is superior not only to Next Gen, but all of the Trek series altogether. They could never hope to be in the same league with Babylon 5, Farscape, Blake's 7, Alien Nation, V, Doctor Who, Firefly, and Ron Moore's Battlestar Galactica to name a few.

It hurts, it hurts! Make it stop! :D :D :D Thank you, have not laughed so hard since Galaxy Quest.
That was very bizarre Brian, don't quite know what to say about that? Owww you can buy it and creep out your friends! :D
I just checked out the trailer, its hilarious! LOL. I'm considering getting the DVD.

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