February/March 100 Word Anonymous Challenge 2023

[farntfar]

Never as good as the first time.

Generally, even a king can put up with a little verbal abuse.
None of us found the right place for a good argument first go
And what I wipe in my own time is my own affair.
Even a little nose blowing doesn’t really disturb us.
Nor was the reference to my parents’ lineage, either of them,
nor their olfactory problems more than a little hurtful.
He actually missed out on that aspect of my mum’s personal hygiene.
It was the following wind behind the farting in our general direction that we all really came to regret.

 

[farntfar]

An Intelligent Man

Silas had an IQ of 140. His mind was his greatest asset.

By applying himself, he became a successful and esteemed psychologist, eventually earning the Grawemeyer Award for his research into anxiety. He never married, and had few friends. Yet Silas was content with his solitude.

But as he aged, he dwelt more and more upon a proposition he turned down when he was young. A God had offered to double his life’s happiness, at the cost of halving his IQ.

Silas chose to hold onto his intelligence. He hoped there was more to life than simply being happy.

 

[farntfar]

Pulling

Going down. Can’t stop it now. Too much gravity. But it is what we asked for.

The air becomes dense, choking. Thoughts weigh heavy in my head. Literally. I’m being crushed under my own hubris. To think we could make this place habitable again. But now we know better.

All we wanted was a little rain, some drops of water to fall from the sky and quench our dusty souls. It was all up there, floating serenely, mocking with morphing shapes. Just needed some coaxing. So we built a machine.

But a little extra gravity goes a long way.

 

[farntfar]

Because You're Special

“Next. Welcome to Hell.”

“Excuse me. Why did that guy ahead of me get special treatment?”

“He’s an atheist. Atheist men get a new suit, a cold drink, plus pool privileges.”

“Really? I’m an atheist.”

“Sign this Regret Waver. Here’s your suit and drink. When you’re ready, go through that golden door.”

#

“Pardon me. Where’s the pool?”

“That ocean of fire over there.”

“But I’m special.”

“Yeah, I know. We don’t push you into the fiery ocean. You get thrown in.”

“But..?”

“You signed the Regret Nothing Waver?”

“Y-yes.”

“Well then.”

SPLASH! “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

 

[farntfar]

The Last Astronaut on Planet Arachnia

“Any last words, Earth man?”

“Bring me before your Spider Queen, and I’ll tell you all something astonishing.”

“Very well.”

#

“Great Spider Queen. I’m honored to meet you.”

“Thank you. I’m surprised you don’t hate my people for devouring all of you Earth colonies. Ten thousand humans have fed my starving brood. Tomorrow, we invade your world. So human, what do you desire to tell us?”

“Gather close, great spiders.”

(scuttle scuttle scuttle scuttle scuttle)

“I regret not becoming a writer, but I am an astro mechanic. Yes. Laugh at me. I’m also wired with a nuclear device.”

KA-BOOOOOOOM!

 

[farntfar]

The challenge is now closed for entry.
I shall be putting up the poll shortly, which will be open until the 12th of March.