Honest characters are honest characters--doesn't matter if its in Updike, Didion, Heinlein or Martin. Honesty is a component of writing, not
literature. Do they have real motivations? Flaws? Personality? Does the parent not caring about their child feel
earned, or is it merely convenient? Someone in a spaceship can be cool
and honest, just like someone in tract housing; it's not either/or.
Asimov is a giant in the field of SF, but I struggle to think of a single female character he wrote that felt like anything more than a flourish to fill out a male character's persona. I'm not sure there's even a female
character in Foundation until F
oundation and Empire! And when he does introduce a female character, she's a Jane to the Mule's Tarzan. Is she a full character? Is she a
person or is she an accent piece to a
real character?
Why aren't there more middle aged mothers in SFF? Why aren't there more overweight, uneducated, unskilled workers with no hobbies or military background in SFF?
Well, I'd say those are really, really different categories of people! One is a blank slate with children and a female perspective and a whole world of unexplored motivations and interiority. The other is an insulting strawman comparison to a middle-aged person-- middle aged mothers are not equivalent to the string of limiters you listed.
Flipping the scenario, a middle aged woman writing a younger male character, might help clarify what I mean by "honest". Harry Potter. Teenage boy going through puberty. Did Harry ever shave? Mention stubble? Acne? Any of the
voluminous and confusing body changes occurring during the arc of the series? Did he ever talk to his friends about girls? They're great, fun books, but strip out the wizarding and Harry's teenage experience
still differs from an honest recounting of teenage years.
Scifi's origins were grand adventures among the stars, but many recent and incredible works of scifi are small and personal, exploring the unexceptional performing the remarkable. YA dystopian excelled at this--The Walking Dead, Hunger Games, all had "normal" people with no extraordinary training acting in extraordinary circumstances. Arkady Martine's Memory series MC is a broadly unremarkable person-- her defining trait is "curious outsider". Emily St. John Mandel features mothers and farmers and salt-of-the-earths people regularly.
And yeah, Valyova is a classic example of a male character with breasts (which is a well documented trope)