Quoting and Exclamation marks

[AnyaKimlin]

!!!I DIDN’T HURT OLIVER!!!

My main character's adult grandson is refusing to speak after finding his wife dead. My main character decided to communicate through writing and paper aeroplanes, something he did when his grandson got into similar state when he was about ten.

If I am quoting the note is it alright to use the multiple exclamation marks?

 

[Abernovo]

I'd say yes, in general. You're quoting something, the same as with signage: "! Warning! Danger of Death!" on electricity pylons and substations.

So long as it doesn't get out of hand. Some people use exclamation marks for everyday comments, and they become annoying. So, if you did that, your character would risk becoming unsympathetic. Still, I'm pretty sure you wouldn't fall into that trap.

 

[AnyaKimlin]

He does overuse them in this short scene but he's struggling to function any level - getting the words out is a surprise.

 

[alchemist]

That would annoy me a bit. Couldn't you just italicise without the !!!!!!! ?

 

[AnyaKimlin]

It's already italicised. (I've italicised the written notes in the scene to distinguish them from the dialogue) If I don't quote it with the !!! in place then I will need to describe them.


Ian picked up the lopsided paper plane and smoothed it out. The barely legible note was written in capitals and the words were surrounded by exclamation marks, it read: I didn't hurt Oliver.

VS

Ian picked up the lopsided paper plane and smoothed it out, it read: !!!I DIDN'T HURT OLIVER!!! Instead of Harley's usual copperplate handwriting was replaced with scraggly letters with deep impressions.

 

[alchemist]

Ah, that's all right. I thought you were using the !!!! to denote a ... note, not quoting them from the paper.

 

[AnyaKimlin]

I just feel I include more description by quoting it rather than describing it. But the second sentence needs work lol

 

[TheDustyZebra]

If that's what he wrote, then that's what I'd write.

 

[AnyaKimlin]

Then I will fix the second sentence and write it Thank you. I was just unsure because I know multiple exclamation marks are a big no, usually.

 

[Juliana]

Anya, works fine for me in quote form (second sentence).

 

[TonyHarmsworth]

Ian picked up the lopsided paper plane and smoothed it out. The barely legible note was written in capitals and the words were surrounded by exclamation marks, it read: I didn't hurt Oliver.

VS

Ian picked up the lopsided paper plane and smoothed it out, it read: !!!I DIDN'T HURT OLIVER!!! Instead of Harley's usual copperplate handwriting was replaced with scraggly letters with deep impressions.

I think the first version has more impact. Sorry - just noticed the date so my comment might be a bit late to be helpful!!!

 

[AnyaKimlin]

I think the first version has more impact. Sorry - just noticed the date so my comment might be a bit late to be helpful!!!

I kept the !!! The first version doesn't reflect the scene terribly well. The impact I hope comes from the situation.