When I finish the novel I'm working on at the mo, I'm planning to pick up 'Seven Dragons' again, something which I was working on a while ago now and which I posted bits and pieces for critique here back in the day.
Anyway, whenever I get bored of what I'm working on now (which is quite a lot) I turn to short stories. This one is unfinished, because I got bored and started a different one, which I'm now bored of... and is a sort of prequel or spin-off off Seven Dragons.
I kinda know where I want to go with it, but thought I'd get some comments on what I've written so far to see if it's any good or not!
So um... I'll stop waffling now.
----
I was on my lunch break, sitting with my back against one of the hay bales, when the girl fell out of the sky. I jumped out of my skin, dropped my sandwich and everything.
She cursed, got to her feet and brushed herself down before checking the pockets of her scruffy green hoodie. I stared, open mouthed, my sandwich forgotten among pieces of hay.
She hadn’t noticed me and I didn’t draw attention to myself. I mean, she’d just dropped out of the sky. That wasn’t normal. That usually meant aliens. She didn’t look much like an alien, although she did have black hair with red stripes in it… Which was unusual. Unusual for these parts anyway. She looked like a scruffy rock chick type, definitely a city girl, though I’d recently noticed a girl from one of the towns nearby had dyed her hair black and blonde. God knows why; she looked like a skunk.
The girl had taken a little plastic pouch from her pocket and was using her little finger to rub the contents over her gums. I had no idea what that was all about.
She sank to her knees on the grass. I took the opportunity to put the lid back onto my lunch box and get to my feet. I didn’t really think she was an alien, so I figured I was dreaming. That, or she was a paraglider with no parachute.
“You should be careful, you know,” I said. “There’s lots of power lines around here.”
She looked at me then. Her expression was glazed and her eyes bloodshot. She raised a hand to her face, pushed her hair back from her eyes. “What?” she asked.
“Power lines,” I repeated. I hugged my lunchbox. “Are you all right?”
She sat back on her heels and looked around, frowning at the hay bales. I noticed a tractor go by on the other side of the hedge at the end of the field and figured I should probably scarper before the farmer came and yelled at me for being on his land. That sounds like a cliché, but farmers did that.
I cleared my throat. “I have to go back to work,” I said. “Or, you know, wake up.”
The girl got to her feet. “Great,” she said. She looked up at the sky and I couldn’t help but follow her gaze to see what was up there. Couldn’t see a damn thing though and I felt like an idiot.
I turned to walk away, to forget about the whole thing but then… then I stopped. Why the hell should I pretend nothing strange had happened? Nothing exciting ever happened to me or to the village for that matter. I mean, the biggest story in the local news recently was about a cow falling off a bridge.
I looked to see where the tractor had gotten to and, as it was heading away, I said to the girl, “You just fell out of the sky.”
She pulled a face. “No, I jumped out of the door. I admit, the landing wasn’t good but I didn’t fall.” She scratched her head and looked around, then, spying the gate in the distance, started towards it.
I followed after her. “There isn’t a door,” I said. “Hey! There’s no door. It’s just a field. With hay and stuff. Well, there isn’t any stuff. Just hay and grass. And my sandwich, I dropped my sandwich.”
She climbed the stile and jumped down into the lane. She looked left and then right, then seemed to pick a direction at random. I clambered over the stile and joined her in the lane.
“If you’re trying to get to Doniton you need to go the other way,” I said helpfully. “That way just goes back to the farm, and the kennels. I work at the kennels. Did I mention there was no door?”
“Once or twice,” she muttered. “Do you always talk this much?”
“No,” I said. “Well, yes. It’s probably a nervous thing.”
The girl started walking towards Doniton. I hesitated, knowing I should go back to work but a girl had fallen out of the sky and I was pretty confident by now that I wasn’t dreaming.
“So, the door…”
“You can’t see it,” she said. “Only I can see it.”
“Ah,” I said. So, she was a crazy person. She was probably on drugs. People on drugs usually see all sorts of stuff. Or so I’d heard. I mean, I’d not done drugs myself so… It dawned on me then what the packet was. I hurried to catch up with the girl who was striding ahead of me.
“You’re on drugs!”
I think I was expecting her to deny it, but she didn’t. She just gave me a look as if I was stupid or something. I’m not stupid, I’m just not used to drugs. Illegal drugs. I’d taken antibiotics before for my wisdom tooth.
“Don’t judge me, all right?” she asked. “I defy anybody to be able to do what I can do and not turn to drugs.”
Ahead, one of the farm hands was just ushering the last of the cows into their new field. He raised a hand in greeting when he saw me, did a double take at my companion, then closed the gate on his cows, watching us as we passed by.
“What is it you do exactly?” I asked. “I mean apart from fall out of the sky.”
She smiled and waved her hands at me, causing me to pull back. “I open doors to other dimensions,” she said.
“Course,” I said. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it, really. Opening doors to other dimensions. I rolled my eyes and wondered how much the drugs had addled her brain.
We were walking down into the village now, passing scruffy looking cottages on the left and one of Doniton’s two churches on the right. A ginger cat was stalking towards us, its tail held high and twitching. I didn’t like cats so I ignored it and it stopped and sat down to wash its paws anyway, probably pretending it wasn’t interested when I know it had been until I’d snubbed it.
The road split and divided into offshoots leading to more houses on the right, and carried on to the main road on the left, passing the playing field, the second church and a pub called The Fat Rabbit.
The girl headed right, making her way to the red phone box on the green which I knew didn’t work.
“This other dimension thing,” I said, “is that where you’re from? Another dimension?”
Again, she gave me that look for idiots. “I’m from Kent.”
“That doesn’t work,” I said, when she opened the phone box door. “So, when you fell out of the sky, you came from another dimension then? The uh… invisible door you came out of…”
“I came from the Fourth.” She closed the door and looked me over. “You got a phone on you?”
I shook my head. “Just my lunch box. The fourth what?”
Anyway, whenever I get bored of what I'm working on now (which is quite a lot) I turn to short stories. This one is unfinished, because I got bored and started a different one, which I'm now bored of... and is a sort of prequel or spin-off off Seven Dragons.
I kinda know where I want to go with it, but thought I'd get some comments on what I've written so far to see if it's any good or not!
So um... I'll stop waffling now.
----
I was on my lunch break, sitting with my back against one of the hay bales, when the girl fell out of the sky. I jumped out of my skin, dropped my sandwich and everything.
She cursed, got to her feet and brushed herself down before checking the pockets of her scruffy green hoodie. I stared, open mouthed, my sandwich forgotten among pieces of hay.
She hadn’t noticed me and I didn’t draw attention to myself. I mean, she’d just dropped out of the sky. That wasn’t normal. That usually meant aliens. She didn’t look much like an alien, although she did have black hair with red stripes in it… Which was unusual. Unusual for these parts anyway. She looked like a scruffy rock chick type, definitely a city girl, though I’d recently noticed a girl from one of the towns nearby had dyed her hair black and blonde. God knows why; she looked like a skunk.
The girl had taken a little plastic pouch from her pocket and was using her little finger to rub the contents over her gums. I had no idea what that was all about.
She sank to her knees on the grass. I took the opportunity to put the lid back onto my lunch box and get to my feet. I didn’t really think she was an alien, so I figured I was dreaming. That, or she was a paraglider with no parachute.
“You should be careful, you know,” I said. “There’s lots of power lines around here.”
She looked at me then. Her expression was glazed and her eyes bloodshot. She raised a hand to her face, pushed her hair back from her eyes. “What?” she asked.
“Power lines,” I repeated. I hugged my lunchbox. “Are you all right?”
She sat back on her heels and looked around, frowning at the hay bales. I noticed a tractor go by on the other side of the hedge at the end of the field and figured I should probably scarper before the farmer came and yelled at me for being on his land. That sounds like a cliché, but farmers did that.
I cleared my throat. “I have to go back to work,” I said. “Or, you know, wake up.”
The girl got to her feet. “Great,” she said. She looked up at the sky and I couldn’t help but follow her gaze to see what was up there. Couldn’t see a damn thing though and I felt like an idiot.
I turned to walk away, to forget about the whole thing but then… then I stopped. Why the hell should I pretend nothing strange had happened? Nothing exciting ever happened to me or to the village for that matter. I mean, the biggest story in the local news recently was about a cow falling off a bridge.
I looked to see where the tractor had gotten to and, as it was heading away, I said to the girl, “You just fell out of the sky.”
She pulled a face. “No, I jumped out of the door. I admit, the landing wasn’t good but I didn’t fall.” She scratched her head and looked around, then, spying the gate in the distance, started towards it.
I followed after her. “There isn’t a door,” I said. “Hey! There’s no door. It’s just a field. With hay and stuff. Well, there isn’t any stuff. Just hay and grass. And my sandwich, I dropped my sandwich.”
She climbed the stile and jumped down into the lane. She looked left and then right, then seemed to pick a direction at random. I clambered over the stile and joined her in the lane.
“If you’re trying to get to Doniton you need to go the other way,” I said helpfully. “That way just goes back to the farm, and the kennels. I work at the kennels. Did I mention there was no door?”
“Once or twice,” she muttered. “Do you always talk this much?”
“No,” I said. “Well, yes. It’s probably a nervous thing.”
The girl started walking towards Doniton. I hesitated, knowing I should go back to work but a girl had fallen out of the sky and I was pretty confident by now that I wasn’t dreaming.
“So, the door…”
“You can’t see it,” she said. “Only I can see it.”
“Ah,” I said. So, she was a crazy person. She was probably on drugs. People on drugs usually see all sorts of stuff. Or so I’d heard. I mean, I’d not done drugs myself so… It dawned on me then what the packet was. I hurried to catch up with the girl who was striding ahead of me.
“You’re on drugs!”
I think I was expecting her to deny it, but she didn’t. She just gave me a look as if I was stupid or something. I’m not stupid, I’m just not used to drugs. Illegal drugs. I’d taken antibiotics before for my wisdom tooth.
“Don’t judge me, all right?” she asked. “I defy anybody to be able to do what I can do and not turn to drugs.”
Ahead, one of the farm hands was just ushering the last of the cows into their new field. He raised a hand in greeting when he saw me, did a double take at my companion, then closed the gate on his cows, watching us as we passed by.
“What is it you do exactly?” I asked. “I mean apart from fall out of the sky.”
She smiled and waved her hands at me, causing me to pull back. “I open doors to other dimensions,” she said.
“Course,” I said. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it, really. Opening doors to other dimensions. I rolled my eyes and wondered how much the drugs had addled her brain.
We were walking down into the village now, passing scruffy looking cottages on the left and one of Doniton’s two churches on the right. A ginger cat was stalking towards us, its tail held high and twitching. I didn’t like cats so I ignored it and it stopped and sat down to wash its paws anyway, probably pretending it wasn’t interested when I know it had been until I’d snubbed it.
The road split and divided into offshoots leading to more houses on the right, and carried on to the main road on the left, passing the playing field, the second church and a pub called The Fat Rabbit.
The girl headed right, making her way to the red phone box on the green which I knew didn’t work.
“This other dimension thing,” I said, “is that where you’re from? Another dimension?”
Again, she gave me that look for idiots. “I’m from Kent.”
“That doesn’t work,” I said, when she opened the phone box door. “So, when you fell out of the sky, you came from another dimension then? The uh… invisible door you came out of…”
“I came from the Fourth.” She closed the door and looked me over. “You got a phone on you?”
I shook my head. “Just my lunch box. The fourth what?”
