Who are Cinema's Most Boring and Uninteresting Characters?

I grew up watching James Bond. Then I saw Gary Oldman as Smiley. That movie set back the excitement of espionage by 100 years.
 
Christopher Lee as Darth Vader.
I have been thinking about doing a fake Hammer Star Wars poster just as a What If.
Cushing would be Obi Wan obviously, but I think R2D2 should sort of resemble a Dalek in design and I am trying to think how C3P0 would look if done by Hammer.
Some of the Imperial costumes were inspired by Moon Zero Two actually--Catherine Schell could be Tarkin's niece.

moonzerotwo.jpg
 
KGeo777 said:
Christopher Lee as Darth Vader.
I have been thinking about doing a fake Hammer Star Wars poster just as a What If.
Cushing would be Obi Wan obviously, but I think R2D2 should sort of resemble a Dalek in design and I am trying to think how C3P0 would look if done by Hammer.
Some of the Imperial costumes were inspired by Moon Zero Two actually--Catherine Schell could be Tarkin's niece.

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You could have the robot from Metropolis as C3P0? I think he was designed on that robot originally.

Perhaps Charles Gray as Tarkin, Paul Darrow as Han Solo, Joanna Lumley as Princess Leia?
 
paranoid marvin said:
You could have the robot from Metropolis as C3P0? I think he was designed on that robot originally.

Perhaps Charles Gray as Tarkin, Paul Darrow as Han Solo, Joanna Lumley as Princess Leia?
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I find this kind of historical cinema pastiche theorizing rather interesting. What would they have done if they were asked to make such a film? What strands of design and approach would have been likely? I did a Hammer what if Halloween poster.

I felt Maria from Metropolis was too non-English for Hammer. I am thinking there must be some Dr Who-type robot or something inspired by the Andersons for it. Or they might have felt two robots is too much of a prop dependency and only have one that is a robot and the other an android that looks human or something? Because that design aesthetic was very McQuarrie-determined.

Likewise--I think Darth Vader would have looked different

Interestingly, I believe they used the body cast of Dave Prowse from Frankenstein and the Monster From Hell in order to design the Vader helmet. I have seen photos of them sculpting it over his face--and it looked like something for the whole body so it must have been used for Star Wars.
I was going to say Madeline Smith or Caroline Munro as Princess Leia and Jon Finch as Han Solo.
I am not familiar with Paul Darrow at all.
I am having trouble with Luke. I can't think of anyone for that--he would not be nerdish--I know that.
He would be closer to Shane Briant or Ian Ogilvy. Someone did a spoof poster for Jodorowsky's Star Wars with Malcolm McDowell as Luke.

I don't think Hammer would use Prowse for Vader because of the need of dubbing. They would be more inclined to use Lee's stunt double-Eddie Powell?---he did the grand inquisitor in The Lost Continent. But it seems to me that Lee would have been the ideal and first Hammer choice for the Star Wars villain. And perhaps Tarkin and Vader would have been merged into one character.

I was going to say Michael Ripper could be the bartender in the cantina and look like Yoda.
halloweenhammer.jpg

:)
 
KGeo777 said:
I find this kind of historical cinema pastiche theorizing rather interesting. What would they have done if they were asked to make such a film? What strands of design and approach would have been likely? I did a Hammer what if Halloween poster.

I felt Maria from Metropolis was too non-English for Hammer. I am thinking there must be some Dr Who-type robot or something inspired by the Andersons for it. Or they might have felt two robots is too much of a prop dependency and only have one that is a robot and the other an android that looks human or something? Because that design aesthetic was very McQuarrie-determined.

Likewise--I think Darth Vader would have looked different

Interestingly, I believe they used the body cast of Dave Prowse from Frankenstein and the Monster From Hell in order to design the Vader helmet. I have seen photos of them sculpting it over his face--and it looked like something for the whole body so it must have been used for Star Wars.
I was going to say Madeline Smith or Caroline Munro as Princess Leia and Jon Finch as Han Solo.
I am not familiar with Paul Darrow at all.
I am having trouble with Luke. I can't think of anyone for that--he would not be nerdish--I know that.
He would be closer to Shane Briant or Ian Ogilvy. Someone did a spoof poster for Jodorowsky's Star Wars with Malcolm McDowell as Luke.

I don't think Hammer would use Prowse for Vader because of the need of dubbing. They would be more inclined to use Lee's stunt double-Eddie Powell?---he did the grand inquisitor in The Lost Continent. But it seems to me that Lee would have been the ideal and first Hammer choice for the Star Wars villain. And perhaps Tarkin and Vader would have been merged into one character.

I was going to say Michael Ripper could be the bartender in the cantina and look like Yoda.
View attachment 101183

:)
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I was thinking of a young Malcolm McDowell myself as Luke, or Michael Yorke. Paul Darrow was the cynical 'Avon' in Blakes 7; played a similar kind of character as well.

I think that a Hammer version of Star Wars would look much more like Battle Beyond The Stars than a big budget, effects-laden movie like Star Wars.
 
paranoid marvin said:
I was thinking of a young Malcolm McDowell myself as Luke, or Michael Yorke. Paul Darrow was the cynical 'Avon' in Blakes 7; played a similar kind of character as well.

I think that a Hammer version of Star Wars would look much more like Battle Beyond The Stars than a big budget, effects-laden movie like Star Wars.
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Michael York! Yeah I could see him in it--in fact, in the Three Musketeers, during one of the sword fights--there are fireworks flying around and I wondered if that inspired the light saber creation because it came pretty close in a few shots to a light saber duel with the swords glowing.

It would be very different in story and FX approach. Hammer had been thinking about doing a Vampirella film so something sci-fi was possible but it would have had little connection to the Flash Gordon serials and the Wizard of Oz.

It would be more Arthurian and obviously the bad guys would not be so British. In fact, they would likely be diverse and aliens.
Andrew Keir had done a Kenobi kind of role in Dracula Prince of Darkness but I don't think he would be picked over Cushing.
Interestingly, when I saw The Empire Strikes Back as a child, I assumed Yoda was a Brian Blessed or Franco Nero type of character. I expected a bearded guy sitting on a throne in the swamp.
 
It's obvious that DULLea and Lockwood were picked because they do not trigger strong sympathy.
Kubrick was never one for making sympathetic characters though.
The only films of his which have that quality (I haven't seen Eyes Wide Shut) are the early ones he did for Kirk Douglas.
His characters are pretty cold.
Other than Scatman Crothers in the Shining, I can't think of anyone who came across as moderately sympathetic.
There's something artificial and cold to everyone in his films.
Maybe we are supposed to sympathize with Malcolm McDowell in some ways but it's difficult to do that considering he is a thug. It is very subversive especially given that it does not follow the novel's ending.

Jack Nicholson only briefly seems sympathetic when he is being blamed for the arm injury but then he goes back to crazy Jack.
It's bizarre--he s acting nuts as soon as he is driving back with his family to the hotel.
 
KGeo777 said:
It's obvious that DULLea and Lockwood were picked because they do not trigger strong sympathy.
Kubrick was never one for making sympathetic characters though.
The only films of his which have that quality (I haven't seen Eyes Wide Shut) are the early ones he did for Kirk Douglas.
His characters are pretty cold.
Other than Scatman Crothers in the Shining, I can't think of anyone who came across as moderately sympathetic.
There's something artificial and cold to everyone in his films.
Maybe we are supposed to sympathize with Malcolm McDowell in some ways but it's difficult to do that considering he is a thug. It is very subversive especially given that it does not follow the novel's ending.

Jack Nicholson only briefly seems sympathetic when he is being blamed for the arm injury but then he goes back to crazy Jack.
It's bizarre--he s acting nuts as soon as he is driving back with his family to the hotel.
Click to expand...

I don't recall any sympathetic characters in Dr Strange Love
 
Maybe all his films are satires.

Jack Torrence was in on the joke, we weren't.
 
John Myers, the FBI agent who is the viewpoint character in the 2004 "Hellboy" film. To be fair, I think he's supposed to be boring to heighten the strangeness of everything around him.
 
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