William Shakespeare's Star Wars

[TheDustyZebra]

William Shakespeare's Star Wars: Ian Doescher: 9781594746376: Amazon.com: Books

I found this at the library, and now that I've read two pages I feel compelled to recommend it heartily to everyone I can think of.

Enter CHORUS

CHORUS
It is a period of civil war.
The spaceships of the rebels, striking swift
From base unseen, have gain'd a vict'ry o'er
The cruel Galactic Empire, now adrift
Amidst the battle, rebel spies prevail'd
And stole the plans to a space station vast,
Whose pow'rful beams will later be unveil'd
And crush a planet: 'tis the DEATH STAR blast
Pursu'd by agents sinister and cold,
Now Princess Leia to her home doth flee,
Deliv'ring plans and a new hope they hold:
Of bringing freedom to the galaxy.
In time so long ago begins our play,
In star-crossed galaxy far, far away.

Exit


SCENE 1.
Aboard the rebel ship.
Enter C-3PO and R2-D2.

C-3PO
Now is the summer of our happiness
Made winter by this sudden, fierce attack!
Our ship is under siege, I know not how.
O hast thou heard? The main reactor fails!
We shall most surely be destroy'd by this.
I'll warrant madness lies herein!

R2-D2
--Beep beep,
Beep, beep, meep, squeak, beep, beep, beep, whee!

C-3PO
--We're doomed.

I cannot even think about the work that went into translating Star Wars into a Shakespearean play. This is fabulous stuff!

 

[Rodders]

Ha, this has been on my to buy list for a while but i haven't pushed the button yet.

 

[chrispenycate]

Astonish not
How many of the bard's eternal themes
Were recapitulated in SF?
'Tis only justice should the seasons' turn
Invert the flow, instoring him as Lukas' aide.
Of ancient glamour, or illusions new
The tale lives on, to generations ever young
Despite CGI, Holywoodish bling
The story carries all, and the play's the thing.

 

[Vaz]

I need this!

 

[thaddeus6th]

Cheers for bumping this, I missed the thread at the time.

Sounds rather good (although I'm not even a third into Shakespeare's own plays...).

 

[TheDustyZebra]

Oh, there's a full set now, at least as far as the original movies -- I'm not sure if he's gone beyond those or not. I don't dare look, as I haven't splurged on any of them yet. Hmm. Should check the library for the collection now that I have time again!

 

[Vince W]

But is it in the original Klingon?

 

[Montero]

Klingon - hhm - wouldn't associate them with Shakespeare, I think Shakespeare sounds more Romulan to me (continuing merrily mixing films). Klingon to me is grand opera and Wagner.

 

[Ursa major]

Shakespeare's plays are classics, so have proved their ability to cling on.

 

[Danny McG]

Ahah!
Franchise Battle of the Stars -
Wars vs Trek

 

[night_wrtr]

I have this one. Got it as a birthday gift last year. It is some of the best fun you'll have. So much awesome.

 

[thaddeus6th]

The Phantom Menace = a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing?

 

[Toby Frost]

The Alyen's Tale, by Geoffrey Chaucer

(Spoilours doth followe)

Once there was a shippe that did fly through Heaven
With a cargoe of stonne and crew of seven
From sleep awoken and from their course waylayd
Wenn thyre captain hearde a calle for aide.
They made port and set forth to explour
“It doth seeme legit” sedd their science officour.
They founde on a playne a vast shippe sits
Made out of olde bones and privy bittes
Inside was a great fellowe sitting doun
Withered away like a skeletoun.
With a marvellous wounde in his cheste full wide
Liken he had burste open from the insyde.

In the shippe's holde they found a great store
Of huge egges, liken it was Eastour.
The saylor Cain looked into an egge's hearte
And a crabbe leaped out quicker than a farte
So his fellows bore him from that playce
With some kynde of creature stuck to his fayce.
The crabbe did dye, and the danger past
They joyously took of their repast.
Yet curtained harshly was that feaste
When from Cain’s belly burste a dreadful beaste.

(This is really difficult!)

 

[Matteo]

Verily were the post-prandial groupe
Aghast at what they did scoup
And chased they the beaste so fierce
In the dark ship they did pierce
Yet huge a beaste they came upon
And blasted it with a bigge gunne
Whereupon a noxious ichor
Did seepeth out and melteth all
And perishe did that brave crew
Save for Ripelee who lived anew
In the chilled air of a curious vat
Accompanyed with a ginger catte

OK, that is difficult.

How about Star Wars Seuss-style?

These aren't the droids you're looking for
These aren't the droids you want at all
You do not want them in a thrice
You do not want them with some mice
You do not need to see our papers
You do not to need to hear our capers
We can move along, along
With a gong, a song, or a zim-zanga-zong.