Discussion -- March 2015 75-word Writing Challenge

[Phyrebrat]

Me and my big mouth... why did I encourage more competition?

I should be deactivated for sure...

doomed... I'm doomed.

C-3pH0

 

[Ursa major]

Only a couple more minutes....

 

[Ursa major]

The Challenge is now closed to new entries, and voting is open at the link below:

POLL -- MARCH 2015 75 Word Challenge -- READ FIRST POST!​

 

[Hex]

I voted first! I don't think that's ever happened before. Wheee!

Anyway, breaks my heart not to vote for holland's clever backwards and inside out story (which was complete brilliance), makes me weep not to vote for crystal haven's marigolds of doom, but I absolutely had to vote for alchemist's story of Password Hell.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

I worried when I saw the theme because I knew this would happen and I swore to myself this person was not getting my vote AGAIN for at least a year.

Anyway, I loved entries by Juliana, Victoria, Starbeast, Martin 321. I loved Phyre's title and snorted. I adored Boneman's and it was so close. But I snorted most inelegantly through Alchemist's (Biggershaft? Really...) and I voted for him. Again. Bah.

 

[Bowler1]

Mentions.
Boneman and Starbeast for great toilet humour, a big achievement this month!

Crystal, Springs, Perp, Martin321 and Victoria get mentions in dispatches.
Parson, Alchemist and Cats Cradle were all shorted listed for great one liners, but (ahem), the best liner won - Cats Cradle.

 

[Kerrybuchanan]

Wow, so many good stories. It's lucky I didn't fuse out my keyboard with the tears of laughter dripping on it. I have a quite long longlist, a shortlist and one I couldn't resist voting for with that last line, Cat's Cradle*

Luiglin
Springs
Juliana
Perp
Cascade
CC*
Boneman
Alc
Ursa
Parson
Martin321
Mosaix
David Doherty-Jeb, hereby shortened to DDJ

 

[Moonbat]

Brilliant stories all round this month, a pleasure to read. I actually rated them on how much they made me laugh, from a smile to a snort to full on chuckle.
Long list, short list and vote.

holland – in reverse
springs – damn marketing
perp – where no man wanted to go before
farntfar – urgency is chageless
cascade – the best medicine
cats cradle – first contact why yiou laughter
still learning - dedicated fan
alc – the penultimate countdown
parson – the end of the world
remedy – making the best of a bad job
crystal haven – got that sinking feeling
hex – tentaclefest 'tastrophe – snort
martin321 – staying alive after a rush job
mosaix – aset phasers to stunning
phyrebrat – don't save the cat

Well done to Telford for such a great genre, I really enjoyed it.

 

[Droflet]

Great entries by everyone. I knew there was an untapped funny bone out there and I think it was nice that, for a change, we weren't so serious about our writing. Although, as everyone knows, comedy is a serious business. Okay on with the show.
Honorable Mentions: Willwallace, HB, StillLearning, CC, Winterlight, Alc, High Eight, Parson, Ursa, Beasty, Martin, Mosaix, Pyrebrat.
All worthy contenders for the gold medal but I kept going back to the story that made me chuckle on the tenth read through. Springs. Hey, someone had to.

 

[Dan Jones]

Gosh, this is what happens when you step away for a week. The thread closes, the voting opens and a bundle of new stories appear!

So many excellent stories, the last of which I'm going to review... right here!

@Phyrebrat - Don't Save The Cat - a title which had me trying to see whether the 'Beat Sheet' could be applied to the story, but I soon got distracted by the oh-so-clever use of the best-known dead-and-alive cat in the universe. Very nerdy and very funny.

@David Doherty-Jebb - The Next Window - Well burger me if my local kebabish hasn't opened a deep space branch, doubtless to cater for all those black holes that appear around about 4am on a Saturday morning. The story may give the impression of war... and that's exactly what it is.

@Xenosia - That's Our Captain For You - one does wonder how some of these captains make it through the ranks sometimes. I got the sense of the fat lady singing downstairs, for some reason on a cassette...? But then the crew don't exactly shower themselves with glory either. I mean, one of them ought to know it was on autopilot, right?

@Bob Senior - BUGS - ah, some real space opera! I have to say, life does seem stinky on Mars if this paean is anything to go by. This has a touch of the Mel Brooks about it, with the one bug starting to sing, and then on the big 'La la la la" finish I can just see the rest of the bug population joining in the rest of the opera. Earth bugs might live their whole lives in a day but I've seen some operas that seem like they last a lifetime.

@BigJ - The Final Commentary on the Exploits of the Extraordinary Captain Arkansas - a serial-style title that itself is so long that it could be serialised over several 75-worder comps. Probably. Quite apt that Capt Arkansas was blasted off into the asteroid belt when his own marriage spent so much time on the rocks.

@The Judge - The Next Generation, 1 (but Baby-lon 5) - really clever genre-bender that ought to get the Exec Commissioning Committees at the Beeb thinking very carefully. I can see the pitch now: "it's a 1920s Tudor NHS drama set in space!" Chuck in a bit of Poldark and Bob's Your Uncle. I'd watch it!

@TheDustyZebra - A Solo Composition - Han Solo doesn't strike me as the poetic type, but this shows that even the gnarliest space cowboy has at least one good ditty inside them, even if it is distinctly John Cage-esque. And His Vogonity is bound to have a great chance in the competition for such an avant-garde entry and suffering for his art so much....

@Moonbat - Supernova Surfing Snail - ...but His Vogonity's got nothing on Phhtmaothin when it comes to postmodern structures. A surreal SF surf that reminds me of my favourite (and possibly only) neutrino gag: "Sorry, we don't serve neutrinos here," says the barman. A neutrino walks into a bar.
No? Sorry; I'd best let Moonbat stick to the comedy, for this wacky west-coast of the Sun adventure.

@Culhwch - Never Get Caught In A Monologue You Could Have Avoided - urgency! Lovely stuff; just like that, almost on cue, the theme of the competition is brought full circle whilst also giving a valuable lesson to supervillians and intergalactic despots everywhere. When will they learn, eh?

 

[Dan Jones]

Phew!

Excellent entires all through the month. Some great gags, some filthy toilet humour and even some biting satire. A feast for all Chronsters, so I guess we should all say well done to Telford for picking such an excellent theme! And here are my votes, and I went purely by which ones gave me the biggest fit of the sniggle-snorters.

Longlist, shortlist, vote.

Damn Marketing - Springs
Needful Things - Willwallace
First Contact - Why You Laughter? - Cat's Cradle
The Penultimate Countdown - Alchemist
Not Funny Any More - High Eight
Making The Best of A Bad Job - Remedy
The Emperor Visits The New Death Star - Starbeast
Set Phasers to Stunning - Mosaix
The Next Generation, 1 (But Baby-lon 5) - The Judge
A Solo Composition - TheDustyZebra

 

[Cat's Cradle]

Wow, in seeing the lists here I hadn't quite realized before how many wonderful titles there were this month...they alone will bring forth smiles and laughter! I'll write lists and vote soon, but I'd like to add my voice to those thanking telford for such an inspired genre/theme combo.

Thank you for the mentions, Moonbat, telford and DG!
And thank you so much, Bowler1 and Kerry, for the votes! To paraphrase an earlier comment of mine in this thread, I am both proud and ashamed to have received them (oy, that last line!).

 

[Ursa major]

Thanks for the shortlisting, Kerry, and for the honourable mention, telford.

 

[willwallace]

Thanks to telford and DG Jones for the mentions.

 

[Droflet]

Thanks CC, for then mention.

 

[Juliana]

Kerry and Springs, thanks for the mentions.

Oh dear, not looking forward to voting. Too many fun entries! I may overload on the humor... If you hear an odd noise, that'll be my sides splitting.

 

[Perpetual Man]

Cripes I did not even realise the challenge had closed! I've got a lot to catch up on.

Not least of which are the comments. (At least I've got a good excuse for being behind this month)

 

[willwallace]

So, a shortlist-

springs--Damn Marketing
Juliana--Haste Makes Waste
telford--The Kleenex Maneuver
Remedy--Making the Best of a Bad Job
David Doherty-Jebb--The Next Window

Came down to two finalists. Mosaix--Set Phasers To Stunning, love this one. But by an inch, it was edged out by alchemist with The Penultimate Countdown, for my vote.

Thanks for all the great entries

 

[David Doherty-Jebb]

OK, so I'm a newbie, but for what it's worth my vote goes to Haste Makes Waste by Juliana It gave me Hitchhiker's with a dash of Farscape

 

[Jo Zebedee]

Wow, lots of mentions - Bowler, Kerry, Moonbat, DG Jones, Will Wallace, thank you so much.

And Telford. lovely you. I'll send you the MK-X as a thank you. It has special modifications.