Discussion -- March 2015 75-word Writing Challenge

[Juliana]

Right! I've finally snickered and snortled my way throughout the, er, offerings, and what a read it was! In the end I went for Telford and his Klingons, with Alchemist a close second.

On my shortlist: Luiglin, Springs, Cascade, Cat's Cradle, Ursa, Star Beast and David D-J.

Nice work, everyone. Now, can the winner please choose something like "emo poetry in the style of Edgar Allan Poe"? I don't think my poor sides can stand another month of Chrons humor!

 

[Bowler1]

What you both need to do is hire an infinite number of monkeys. The only issue you'd get though is how to make sure that they write critiques and not the complete works of Shakespeare.

The Monkeys are mine, but can be yours for a small and very reasonable price. If you can get them to leave my spare room, there yours. As you can see, relations have long since been broken and I refuse to deal with a Monkey union as the original agreement was for them to work for peanuts - there was no mention of the national minimum wage when they started. I will say that they smell, but I have blocked access to the bathroom as part of my negotiation tactics, so that may be my own fault. Anyway... they're generally friendly and they only hit me with placards in passing now and with little of their old enthusiasm, which used to sting a bit. I'd happily see the back of 'em and I'm sure they feel the same way, so how about it Luiglin - do you want them monkeys?

Has anyway see Hex???
I can see that like Hex, come out and face me.

 

[Luiglin]

Luiglin - do you want them monkeys?

That's okay thanks. I have an infinite band of gorillas. They were going cheaper than the monkeys and now I know why. They're costing me an arm and a leg in new keyboards ... one mistype and they go ape.

 

[Bowler1]

That's okay thanks. I have an infinite band of gorillas. They were going cheaper than the monkeys and now I know why. They're costing me an arm and a leg in new keyboards ... one mistype and they go ape.

I'm feeling a little better now, but then again, I'm in still in work (working very, very hard of course) and have yet to fight my way past the picket line, yet again. I hate monkeys.

 

[Ursa major]

Thanks for the short-listing, Juliana.

 

[Perpetual Man]

I have horrendously neglected to thank the three musketeers who mentioned my attempt in dispatches or otherwise, so thanks to Bowler, Kerry and MB, greatly appreciated.

And onto the important bits.

This month all the stories made me laugh, and for all the right reasons. I don't think there was one that missed the mark. But of course humour is subjective, so some stories are going to be funnier than others to each individual.

So my shortlist.
Luiglin, Ursa, Grim, Kerry and MB get the funny guy(s) award.

While holland, Mr Orange and Crystal get class comedian awards.
holland had an incredible and original idea that had a novelty execution (more to say on this when voting ends), while the play on words at the end of Mr Orange's was so bad as to be brilliant. Crystal's was just pure fun.

But taking their place on the pedestal for Original Prankster goes to Juliana.

 

[Kerrybuchanan]

Thanks, Perp.

 

[Juliana]

Thank you very much Perp!

 

[Starbeast]

Starbeast - Lord Vader Worships The Nude Dead Star - Unless I'm very much mistaken, this is someone's, um, someone's, er...you know what I mean. Beast of toilet humour in this sphincter-centric snigger-fest complete with anal onomatopaeia. There where the loo feels like a galaxy far, far away...

Many tanks for the awesome review DG Jones. I chuckled when I noticed you used my "alternate title" to lead your personal description of me. Don't forget to wash your hands. Heh heh.

I worried when I saw the theme because I knew this would happen and I swore to myself this person was not getting my vote AGAIN for at least a year.

Anyway, I loved entries by Juliana, Victoria, Starbeast, Martin 321. I loved Phyre's title and snorted. I adored Boneman's and it was so close. But I snorted most inelegantly through Alchemist's (Biggershaft? Really...) and I voted for him. Again. Bah.

Thank you for the mention Springs. You made my day. I guess you went for the biggershaft, rather than the biggest pile..

Mentions.
Boneman and Starbeast for great toilet humour, a big achievement this month!

Thank you for the lisitng Bowler1. You made my day. I don't regret pushing that one out.

Great entries by everyone. I knew there was an untapped funny bone out there and I think it was nice that, for a change, we weren't so serious about our writing. Although, as everyone knows, comedy is a serious business. Okay on with the show.
Honorable Mentions: Willwallace, HB, StillLearning, CC, Winterlight, Alc, High Eight, Parson, Ursa, Beasty, Martin, Mosaix, Pyrebrat.
All worthy contenders for the gold medal but I kept going back to the story that made me chuckle on the tenth read through. Springs. Hey, someone had to.

Thank you Telford for the mention. You made my day. I had fun squeezing that out this month.

Phew!

Excellent entires all through the month. Some great gags, some filthy toilet humour and even some biting satire. A feast for all Chronsters, so I guess we should all say well done to Telford for picking such an excellent theme! And here are my votes, and I went purely by which ones gave me the biggest fit of the sniggle-snorters. Longlist, shortlist, vote.

Damn Marketing - Springs
Needful Things - Willwallace
First Contact - Why You Laughter? - Cat's Cradle
The Penultimate Countdown - Alchemist
Not Funny Any More - High Eight
Making The Best of A Bad Job - Remedy
The Emperor Visits The New Death Star - Starbeast
Set Phasers to Stunning - Mosaix
The Next Generation, 1 (But Baby-lon 5) - The Judge
A Solo Composition - TheDustyZebra

Thank you DG Jones for the listing. You made my day. I always admire someone with a sense of humor, that's makes it easier to have fun. It's a good thing that this isn't the 300 Word Challenge, because I would have used the other 200 words for sound effects.



Now the really hard part, choosing one winner.

 

[Ursa major]

Thanks for the short-listing, Perp.

 

[holland]

I voted for First Contact--Why You Laughter? It was just too funny

The runners-up are, in no order, are: The Penultimate Countdown and The Epic Adventures of Art and Cal

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

Phyrebrat -- The author makes use of a famous thought experiment in this witty offering.

David Doherty-Jebb -- By creating a vivid and imaginative far future setting, the author adds to the humor of the mundane conclusion.

Xenosia -- With a touch of wordplay, this story shows us the all too human side of a supposed hero.

Bob Senior -- The author adds a touch of self-mockery in this bit of nonsensical verse.

BigJ -- Bawdiness is in the eye of the reader in this double-edged tale.

The Judge -- Popular culture is gleefully satirized in this multilayered bit of fun.

TheDustyZebra -- Literature and cinema meet and collide in this madcap romp.

Moonbat -- This surrealistic story moves at lightning speed.

Culhwch -- The loquaciousness of fictional villains is cleverly mocked in this amusing story.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

In a bit of a rush, I'll just note that, after rereading the entries and a lot of indecision, my vote goes to "Supernova Surfing Snail" by Moonbat for its quirky originality.

 

[High Eight]

Thanks for the mention D G Jones.

I'll do my shortlist and vote tomorrow.

 

[Cat's Cradle]

Thank you, Juliana, for the mention! And wow!! holland, a vote! Thanks so much. Woke up not feeling great, and your vote was a panacea. I should be able to find time to read and vote today...looks like another close race!

 

[Starbeast]

Comedic Finalists
​

Holland - For messing with our minds.

Luiglin - For pizza service. Mmmm, pizza.

Springs - For naming the thingy.

Juliana - For galactic hitchhiking Linus.

Willwallace - For Futurama drama.

Tywin - For free supersized drinks.

HareBrain - For perfect timing.

Cascade - For, well, the best medicine.

Cat's Cradle - For Alien's speaking Earthian.

Telford - For two ply strength.

Boneman - For communication irritation.

Alchemist - For near disaster.

High Eight - For running with blades.

Remedy - For sound effects.

Sancho - For doggy treats.

Martin321 - For sounding funnier to me after reading my tale.

Mosaix - For boldy going trek'n.

 

[Droflet]

Wow, a vote. Wasn't expecting anything this month for, er, some reason, so thanks sooo much to Juliana. And a mention from the Beast, thanks mate. But really, 'two ply strength'? Classic.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

Thanks Juliana and SB for the mentions. As someone who doesn't consider themselves a funny writer at all, it's nice to have so many mentions.

 

[willwallace]

Thanks for the mention, Starbeast.

 

[Cat's Cradle]

As always, the challenge was packed with terrific entries, top to bottom. As always, it's incredibly difficult to make lists, and vote. But as always, we soldier on, so:

(One thought--Comedic Space Opera to me seems to imply slapsticky lewdness. I must say, I kind of favored those sorts of stories in my finalists list. )

Honorables:
harebrain, kerry, DG Jones, Cascade, Bowler1, Glen, Ursa, Kerry, David Doherty-Jebb

Shortlist:
holland, martin321, phyrebrat, TJ

Finalists:
springs, Juliana, telford, alchemist, Starbeast, mosaix

I voted for telford's awesome The Kleenex Maneuver. I laughed at the toilet humor from start to finish, and thought it was quite clever, too. Well done telford...well done all!

 

[Starbeast]

Wow, a vote. Wasn't expecting anything this month for, er, some reason, so thanks sooo much to Juliana. And a mention from the Beast, thanks mate. But really, 'two ply strength'? Classic.

You're immensely welcome Telford. I must congratulate you for this month's challenge, it gave me great pleasure and laughter. Plus, I really enjoyed your Star Trek parody.

Thanks Juliana and SB for the mentions. As someone who doesn't consider themselves a funny writer at all, it's nice to have so many mentions.

You're welcome Springs. Pat yourself on the back for a wonderful comedic tale.

Thanks for the mention, Starbeast.

You're welcome Willwallace. I had a blast with your Futurama episode.

As always, the challenge was packed with terrific entries, top to bottom. As always, it's incredibly difficult to make lists, and vote. But as always, we soldier on, so:

(One thought--Comedic Space Opera to me seems to imply slapsticky lewdness. I must say, I kind of favored those sorts of stories in my finalists list. )

Finalists: springs, Juliana, telford, alchemist, Starbeast, mosaix

I voted for telford's awesome The Kleenex Maneuver. I laughed at the toilet humor from start to finish, and thought it was quite clever, too. Well done telford...well done all!

Thank you Cat's Cradle. You made my day when I saw you made me a finalist. I had a good chuckle with your Aliens.