Your Empire, Your Rules

[jof]

livre » of bread in France

A book of bread?




My Empire...hmmmm

I would also abolish all currency and use a communist system (*gasps all around at the evil communists who eat your children *) I would act as a Dictator for the final say but would leave the running of the country down to the individual communes. Each person would do what job he wished with education being free and food the same. Religion would also be abolished but not frowned upon. Any large structures such as Cathedrals would be changed into some form of distribution centre so that the prolatariat could get there supplies and as such would remove religious spots and at the same time help the empire. I would train all of the prolatariat in arms and would issue every member a weapon with which to defend themselves. The prolatariat therefore could act as a fyrd and a standing army would need to be very minor. Missuse of the weapons would merit a public stoning and more rigourous punishments could be enforced for worse crimes voted by the commune.

 

[star.torturer]

i would abolish curency in favour of freedom, processe cost nothing meaning prices are nothing, no internal combustion engines, just trains and cycle/walking. (also consider canals/rivers) no fositl fules, all either fusion or renewable. other stuff to come

 

[electricdragon]

My "perfect empire" would be the strech over present day South East Asia and with Singapore as my Capital. I would exploit my rule over spices and manupilate the price and sell it for thousands to europeans (HAHAHA!!!).

Building the greatest navy ever, i would be the stopping for travellers between Arabia, INdia and China and would treat the traders with much respect. There will be no state religion and i encourage mixing of different ethics and religion. My empire will be ruled in provinces and rebellions will be put down with force. Making friends with the emperor of China, i will trade gold from Burma and spice from indonesia for silk and sell it to arabian and european travellers at a high price!!

 

[HoopyFrood]

To be serious, or not to be serious...that is the question.
Ah, let's do both...see if you can tell the difference

Everyone would be equal. Vegetarianism would be complusory and taking an animal's life would be dealt with harshly (yes, my empire would be overrun with animals! Huzzah, in my opinion!). Killing humans...are what the heck, that's fine!
Oh another note, Communism would be fine, living in communes, having no authority over other people and sharing the wealth...well sharing the materials, money could be done away with. There would be no religion. Racism, misognism, nationalism, fascism...well, most kinds of "isms" would not even exist. There would be no death penalty...in fact crime would be dealt with through rehabiliation rather than punishment (yes, I know, I'm an idealist! But please let me have my Utopia and be happy instead pointing out all it's failings!)

Ok, well Yaks and Horseshoe crabs would have a firm place in society...practically worshipped as Gods. Piracy would be rife (I myself would be a pirate with my own motely crew), there would be a national orange day every week when everyone dresses in that splendid colour. Smartcars would be the only car available. Cheese and pasta would be the favourite food of all. Laughing would be complusory. Anyone who didn't read would have their eyes gouged out (hehe). Horror films would be viewing choice of all (and the standard of horror would be greatly increased, I haven't seen a good recent horror film in ages! You just can't beat the classics!)

Anyway, I think that'll do.

 

[Cozener]

Well...its important that an emperor have his priorties straight. This I believe with all my heart. So my first order of business would have to be collecting my harem.

I would force every woman that could bear children to have a child by a man of another race. I'm sick of hearing people argue and bicker over who's what hue and I'd just as soon be done with it.

I would allow people to follow whatever religion they liked but they would not be allowed to talk about their religions outside of their places of worship and their own homes...on pain of death. This is another argument I'm sick of hearing so people just won't be allowed to discuss it publicly. Anyone attempting to forcefeed his or her religion down someone else's throat will stripped naked, painted feusia, peppered with glitter, and forced to dance to "Its Raining Men" until they die from exhaustion.

People may, for the most part, legistlate themselves at a local level as long as my first two directives are followed. If you don't like your local laws you can move a county over where Dixieland music and public nudity are ok...or whatever.

Everyone will have to speak whatever language I speak. I don't care what additional languages they speak but if they're around me they will speak my language. I know those bastards at the Chinese take-out place are talking about my nose and I'll abide it no longer.

Everyone must call each other "cousin" followed by their first name. I want everyone to feel like they're in one big happy family.

All men under 5'11 must undergo psychological evaluations. If it is found that your the type of short guy that compensates for his shortness by being an asshole you'll be shipped to the island of Elba. I don't care if there's room there or not.

Women will not be allowed to dye their hair without the approval of no less than six men of good standing in their community. If approved, another court must be gathered to approve the desired color.

Wonder-bras and wonder-panties will be outlawed. So women don't think I'm picking on them, tupees, combovers, and hair transplants will also be outlawed (except mine)

Sushi will be the official national food.



Ok...I think thats all for now.