I can't really fault this.

Maybe 10% less helium, or a short tether to your belt?
:unsure:
But backpacking is supposed to hurt. :D How can you get that elation, that buzz, that Yay, I did it! moment, if you didn't tote that 10kg load up there, and aren't lying there looking like a freshly-washed beetroot?
 
Why not hire porters? Or train geese?
How about underground train geese?

E79B5AD4-BFA7-4A00-AE3C-C56DA8C35A56.jpg
 

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