Logan Selmes
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Dec 31, 2023
- Messages
- 66
She opened her eyes into dim half light after a long dark, her mind feral as she regained awareness of her own existence.
No thought no fear.
Her eyelids fell heavily shut. She willed the long dark to return. Her mind raced instead.
Wrong place for long dark. Out of Yon’s bedchamber. Row the River Lethe no more. Four in four out. Close the brain no more, no more.
The fleeting panic dissolved and her thoughts clawed toward coherence.
A verbal token flashed in her mind earlier than her name did, if her name really was Persis. Without knowing exactly why, she doubted it. She turned the token over in her mind, a fragment of old pretty words. Not her own words, but favorites. A thing from before the long dark in her mind. She strained to focus through the claustrophobic tunnel of her mind.
Her mouth moved clumsily until she could finally form deliberate shapes. She drowsily noticed she was mouthing silent words.
“Frame thy fearful symmetry,” she finally said aloud. Disuse made her voice a whisper at first. She repeated it several more times until her voice sounded almost whole to herself. The tunnel in her mind widened. Connected thoughts flowed in order.
Fearful symmetry, Blake, Tyger. Tiger. India. Bengaluru. Parsi. Sethna. Jamshed Sethna, Father. Persis Jamshed Sethna, Daughter. Persis… I am.
The mental effort tired Persis, too tired to open her eyes again. Her head had started to clear. She heard voices and machine sounds and felt the room’s light brighten against her eyelids.
“We made it, Persis,” said a very familiar voice. “We’ve arrived.”
Persis didn’t understand, but she forced her eyes open to look down at herself. She was nestled horizontally among blankets arranged in a hammock designed for low-gravity environments. An ancient concerto played quietly. Though she knew it was her lifelong favorite, she couldn’t recall its name.
She felt vaguely satisfied. Everything as I prefer. As it was for each recovery. The thought fled before Persis fully deciphered its meaning.
The curving walls of the room were clad in fragrant hinoki wood finished darkly. Fragments of memories flitted past her mind’s eye. Persis laughed softly to herself at the recognition, pleased to hear her own voice’s smoothness and warmth restored.
“Oh, the hinoki!” Persis said aloud to herself dreamily. “What a strange story that was. Smuggled out of the PCR… Gavin Hercus arranged that.” She sighed deeply. Her mental faculties ebbed jerkily but she could think in mostly complete thoughts. “Shame what became of Japan. And most other places too. From there to the edge of Sol’s pull. What am I saying?”
Persis turned her head to the right and startled. A young woman stood there, her face animated by concern and eagerness. “I know you, don’t I?” Persis asked.
“Of course you do, Persis. Yes!” The girl’s face twisted sadly for a few moments until a feeble smile formed. “Virgilia. I’m Virgilia Hood.”
Persis gazed intently at Virgilia. Freckles, hazel eyes, red hair tied back, pale skin, a dancer’s build and easy manner in low gravity. “Virgilia Hood. That seems right… Gavin, that name I know for sure. But not why.”
Virgilia Hood choked out a little laugh. “I’m glad you remember Gavin, Persis. None like him before or since. The more comes back to you, the more you’ll know what I mean. You’ll remember most of whatever you’ve forgotten. That’s how it was for me. Been on active crew for a few years now. You’ve already been through recovery more times than just about any person I know of, Persis.”
“Recovery from- you mean the long dark? ‘Rowing the River Lethe’. Sorry, the… cryostasis. Yon Biotech? They were the ones to do it first. I was there! I did all my genfitting well in advance of that. I remember. A gene from an arthropod. Freeze avoidant antifreeze protein production. Freeze avoidant, not just resistant. Reduced damage to recoverable levels. I tested a bed myself. Only ten years the first time, but still. The risk in the oldest models… Oh. Why would I do that? Why did I?” Persis physically shuddered at the thought. She looked back to Virgilia and stared at the girl’s face. Persis carefully sounded out the name. “Virgilia. Hood. Feels like I should remember you especially.”
“You will, Persis. What you said about Yon Biotech. I was there during that time too. And Gavin. And all the others you knew best in Hansa social circles,” said Virgilia. “I was only 18 then. We few who knew you, we all wondered where you’d disappeared to. Then the years kept passing and you were still gone. Even back then the Sethnas were so tight-lipped, the ones who knew anything, I mean. Even quieter than the Yon family.” Virgilia laughed brightly. “Eugene knew the whole time! *******!”
That name was also very important, Persis knew.
“And I know why you tested it yourself so early on,” said Virgilia. “At least the reason you gave us. We didn’t know exactly what you meant, but before you dropped of the map you always said you’d never ask anything of us unless the same was expected of you. ”
Persis raised an eyebrow. “Did I?”
“Yes. Before and after that incident,” said Virgilia. “You were known as a woman of extremes, believe me. Sometimes in a good way. But Persis, you made me who I am. You called me family, your sister, you said so yourself! Remember?”
Persis widened her eyes at this comment. In the depths of memory some things were still perfectly clear. One was the way Sethnas talked about family: only in the literal and verifiable sense of lineage, blood, genetics. “Did I?” she asked again.
“Oh, Persis,” Virgilia said, “of all memories that might not come back to you, let that not be one of them.”
Virgilia’s open exasperation earned an agreeable shrug from Persis. “I’ll do my best. Out of my control, isn't it?” She fought to keep her eyelids open and her mind focused the conversation.
“Sorry. Sorry for keeping you awake,” Virgilia said. “Your medical team will want to see you soon, they’ll wake you. Phys, psych, everything. They’ve had you out of the medical wing for a month now. You’ve time to rest for now, at least a few hours.”
“Wonderful,” said Persis as she nestled deeper into the luxurious hammock. “Oh. You heard me talking about the hinoki wood?”
“Um, I did, yes. I’m glad its here. Its really beautiful. A good sensory detail, too.”
“Isn’t it strange how things like that follow us?” Persis said. “Mostly in memory. But that hinoki really did follow me personally. All that distance, so far from-” Persis turned in the hammock to stare at Virgilia, already standing in the doorway. “I don’t remember where we were going and who went with us.”
Virgilia nodded, pausing for a long moment before speaking. “We’re on the Howqua. With the Hansa flotilla. Five ships. We left Sol for Teegarden’s Star just before the other flotillas did. All parties have made it in by now, all mostly intact. Insane odds, that. Just crazy. Friends and not-friends survived, for better or worse.”
“Teegarden b. Twelve and a half light-years,” said Persis. She noticed the reverence in her own voice. From Sol, 112.25 trillion kilometers. Moving at 15 percent of the speed of light. “Oh… I’ve missed so much, haven’t I How long have we been in system?” Persis let out a horrified groan. She jolted, making a tentative effort to escape from her hammock. She saw stars but fought through the disorientation to move herself.
“No, no, don’t get up! Now listen, Persis. Listen. Our flotilla got here first and we’ve only been inside the system for almost two months. Nobody’s had time to do much here. Everyone is just keeping the peace and watching. Learning what we can about the new neighborhood before we make any big moves.”
Persis let herself go limp again. “Okay.” More time to think was all she wanted. More information. “What do we know, who have we lost, who’s doing what, and what have we heard from elsewhere? Biosignature on b still good? Just tell me those things, then I’ll sleep.”
Virgilia was already backing out of the doorway and into a corridor mostly out of view. “Soon. Please. We’ll get you caught up. I shouldn’t even have talked to you this way. I barely convinced your medical team to give me this much time so early on. See you soon. Good to have you back, Ms. Sethna”.
Before Persis could protest the door had already slid shut. The lights dimmed to almost pitch black. She felt a surge of sedation from a source she couldn’t locate or even conceive of. Her will to keep herself awake drifted away.
Alright. Doesn’t matter. You’ve made the voyage, Persis. Never again on the river of forgetfulness. You’ve gone far enough, stolen enough time. Promise. Do you? Yes. Never again, I promise. I promise.
For the first time after 80 years, Persis Sethna fell asleep and dreamed.
No thought no fear.
Her eyelids fell heavily shut. She willed the long dark to return. Her mind raced instead.
Wrong place for long dark. Out of Yon’s bedchamber. Row the River Lethe no more. Four in four out. Close the brain no more, no more.
The fleeting panic dissolved and her thoughts clawed toward coherence.
A verbal token flashed in her mind earlier than her name did, if her name really was Persis. Without knowing exactly why, she doubted it. She turned the token over in her mind, a fragment of old pretty words. Not her own words, but favorites. A thing from before the long dark in her mind. She strained to focus through the claustrophobic tunnel of her mind.
Her mouth moved clumsily until she could finally form deliberate shapes. She drowsily noticed she was mouthing silent words.
“Frame thy fearful symmetry,” she finally said aloud. Disuse made her voice a whisper at first. She repeated it several more times until her voice sounded almost whole to herself. The tunnel in her mind widened. Connected thoughts flowed in order.
Fearful symmetry, Blake, Tyger. Tiger. India. Bengaluru. Parsi. Sethna. Jamshed Sethna, Father. Persis Jamshed Sethna, Daughter. Persis… I am.
The mental effort tired Persis, too tired to open her eyes again. Her head had started to clear. She heard voices and machine sounds and felt the room’s light brighten against her eyelids.
“We made it, Persis,” said a very familiar voice. “We’ve arrived.”
Persis didn’t understand, but she forced her eyes open to look down at herself. She was nestled horizontally among blankets arranged in a hammock designed for low-gravity environments. An ancient concerto played quietly. Though she knew it was her lifelong favorite, she couldn’t recall its name.
She felt vaguely satisfied. Everything as I prefer. As it was for each recovery. The thought fled before Persis fully deciphered its meaning.
The curving walls of the room were clad in fragrant hinoki wood finished darkly. Fragments of memories flitted past her mind’s eye. Persis laughed softly to herself at the recognition, pleased to hear her own voice’s smoothness and warmth restored.
“Oh, the hinoki!” Persis said aloud to herself dreamily. “What a strange story that was. Smuggled out of the PCR… Gavin Hercus arranged that.” She sighed deeply. Her mental faculties ebbed jerkily but she could think in mostly complete thoughts. “Shame what became of Japan. And most other places too. From there to the edge of Sol’s pull. What am I saying?”
Persis turned her head to the right and startled. A young woman stood there, her face animated by concern and eagerness. “I know you, don’t I?” Persis asked.
“Of course you do, Persis. Yes!” The girl’s face twisted sadly for a few moments until a feeble smile formed. “Virgilia. I’m Virgilia Hood.”
Persis gazed intently at Virgilia. Freckles, hazel eyes, red hair tied back, pale skin, a dancer’s build and easy manner in low gravity. “Virgilia Hood. That seems right… Gavin, that name I know for sure. But not why.”
Virgilia Hood choked out a little laugh. “I’m glad you remember Gavin, Persis. None like him before or since. The more comes back to you, the more you’ll know what I mean. You’ll remember most of whatever you’ve forgotten. That’s how it was for me. Been on active crew for a few years now. You’ve already been through recovery more times than just about any person I know of, Persis.”
“Recovery from- you mean the long dark? ‘Rowing the River Lethe’. Sorry, the… cryostasis. Yon Biotech? They were the ones to do it first. I was there! I did all my genfitting well in advance of that. I remember. A gene from an arthropod. Freeze avoidant antifreeze protein production. Freeze avoidant, not just resistant. Reduced damage to recoverable levels. I tested a bed myself. Only ten years the first time, but still. The risk in the oldest models… Oh. Why would I do that? Why did I?” Persis physically shuddered at the thought. She looked back to Virgilia and stared at the girl’s face. Persis carefully sounded out the name. “Virgilia. Hood. Feels like I should remember you especially.”
“You will, Persis. What you said about Yon Biotech. I was there during that time too. And Gavin. And all the others you knew best in Hansa social circles,” said Virgilia. “I was only 18 then. We few who knew you, we all wondered where you’d disappeared to. Then the years kept passing and you were still gone. Even back then the Sethnas were so tight-lipped, the ones who knew anything, I mean. Even quieter than the Yon family.” Virgilia laughed brightly. “Eugene knew the whole time! *******!”
That name was also very important, Persis knew.
“And I know why you tested it yourself so early on,” said Virgilia. “At least the reason you gave us. We didn’t know exactly what you meant, but before you dropped of the map you always said you’d never ask anything of us unless the same was expected of you. ”
Persis raised an eyebrow. “Did I?”
“Yes. Before and after that incident,” said Virgilia. “You were known as a woman of extremes, believe me. Sometimes in a good way. But Persis, you made me who I am. You called me family, your sister, you said so yourself! Remember?”
Persis widened her eyes at this comment. In the depths of memory some things were still perfectly clear. One was the way Sethnas talked about family: only in the literal and verifiable sense of lineage, blood, genetics. “Did I?” she asked again.
“Oh, Persis,” Virgilia said, “of all memories that might not come back to you, let that not be one of them.”
Virgilia’s open exasperation earned an agreeable shrug from Persis. “I’ll do my best. Out of my control, isn't it?” She fought to keep her eyelids open and her mind focused the conversation.
“Sorry. Sorry for keeping you awake,” Virgilia said. “Your medical team will want to see you soon, they’ll wake you. Phys, psych, everything. They’ve had you out of the medical wing for a month now. You’ve time to rest for now, at least a few hours.”
“Wonderful,” said Persis as she nestled deeper into the luxurious hammock. “Oh. You heard me talking about the hinoki wood?”
“Um, I did, yes. I’m glad its here. Its really beautiful. A good sensory detail, too.”
“Isn’t it strange how things like that follow us?” Persis said. “Mostly in memory. But that hinoki really did follow me personally. All that distance, so far from-” Persis turned in the hammock to stare at Virgilia, already standing in the doorway. “I don’t remember where we were going and who went with us.”
Virgilia nodded, pausing for a long moment before speaking. “We’re on the Howqua. With the Hansa flotilla. Five ships. We left Sol for Teegarden’s Star just before the other flotillas did. All parties have made it in by now, all mostly intact. Insane odds, that. Just crazy. Friends and not-friends survived, for better or worse.”
“Teegarden b. Twelve and a half light-years,” said Persis. She noticed the reverence in her own voice. From Sol, 112.25 trillion kilometers. Moving at 15 percent of the speed of light. “Oh… I’ve missed so much, haven’t I How long have we been in system?” Persis let out a horrified groan. She jolted, making a tentative effort to escape from her hammock. She saw stars but fought through the disorientation to move herself.
“No, no, don’t get up! Now listen, Persis. Listen. Our flotilla got here first and we’ve only been inside the system for almost two months. Nobody’s had time to do much here. Everyone is just keeping the peace and watching. Learning what we can about the new neighborhood before we make any big moves.”
Persis let herself go limp again. “Okay.” More time to think was all she wanted. More information. “What do we know, who have we lost, who’s doing what, and what have we heard from elsewhere? Biosignature on b still good? Just tell me those things, then I’ll sleep.”
Virgilia was already backing out of the doorway and into a corridor mostly out of view. “Soon. Please. We’ll get you caught up. I shouldn’t even have talked to you this way. I barely convinced your medical team to give me this much time so early on. See you soon. Good to have you back, Ms. Sethna”.
Before Persis could protest the door had already slid shut. The lights dimmed to almost pitch black. She felt a surge of sedation from a source she couldn’t locate or even conceive of. Her will to keep herself awake drifted away.
Alright. Doesn’t matter. You’ve made the voyage, Persis. Never again on the river of forgetfulness. You’ve gone far enough, stolen enough time. Promise. Do you? Yes. Never again, I promise. I promise.
For the first time after 80 years, Persis Sethna fell asleep and dreamed.
