Short Story Critique

[ColGray]

Anyone willing to help with a short story critique? It's about 4800 words, near future story about grief and deepfaking dead children--but it isn't dark (at least, not to me?).

I've edited it until I can't see it anymore and could really use a different perspective. I think it's trying to do too much and devolving into cool idea/bad story territory.

Happy to swap.

 

[Swank]

Sure

 

[ColGray]

Sent and thank you

 

[The Big Peat]

PM me.

 

[Swank]

It's very good.

 

[ColGray]

PM me.

I'll send it shortly -- nearly finished with revisions from Swank and HareBrained. Thanks for offering!

 

[therapist]

If you still want critiques i'm happy to read it

 

[ColGray]

@therapist I would, but I'm going to edit it a bit more. The place i submitted it to had a hard 5k word count cap and I'd cut a bunch to hit that word count--but just got the rejection from them. The next round of places have 5-10k word count limits, so I can now add some of those details back.

 

[Muginns]

There was an episode of Rick and Morty where the ship used a clone of the police chief's dead son to keep it's passenger safe.