Chapter XXV

[Timben]

This chapter needs something. I can't figure out what. It's boring. Anyway to spice it up a little? And yes the tenses are all over the place. This is just a rough draft.

Chapter XXV

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While Chen looked around, two Coil agents stood on the balcony, aiming their bolt-action rifles at Chen. They were going to use Chen as target practice, when Peter rushed in, examined the situation, raised his rifle, and fired. Toppling them down to the floor of the courtyard dead. Chen wheeled around only to see Peter clutching a rifle.

“Peter, thought Sam told you to…” said Chen.

“Not my commanding officer,” said Peter smiling.

“There doesn’t seem to be any luck here, I wonder how Sam is doing below,” said Chen.

****​

Sam toting his British rifle in hand, continued onward. There were no signs of them anywhere. He visited the guest quarters, where his room was still ransacked. There on the wall, were the paintings, he looked at each one but they didn’t seem to be alive. Like the assassin who tried to kill him earlier. Next, he visited Peter’s room. Same thing, paintings but no assassins. He crawled back inside the chamber and there he was back in the underground tunnel. Sam swallowed hard and hoped and prayed that he wouldn’t set off any booby traps while stumbling around. It wasn’t long before he came across the exit, watching above ever so carefully. He hurried but cautiously. He knew they had to be somewhere.

 

[THX1138]

While Chen looked around, two Coil agents stood on the balcony, aiming their bolt-action rifles at Chen. They were going to use Chen as target practice, when Peter rushed in, examined the situation, raised his rifle, and fired. Toppling them down to the floor of the courtyard dead. Chen wheeled around only to see Peter clutching a rifle.

“Peter, thought Sam told you to…” said Chen.

“Not my commanding officer,” said Peter smiling.

“There doesn’t seem to be any luck here, I wonder how Sam is doing below,” said Chen.

Hello @Timben. Well, it's guilty of what I am in my writing; stagnant. It's an action scene, so bring that out. This is my quick revision of how it could go (in a rough draft).

While Chen looked out of the large open bay window, two Coil agents stood on the nearby adjacent balcony aiming their rifles at him They were about to use Chen as target practice, when Peter rushed into the room catching Chen off guard. Charging the window, Peter raised his rifle and fired at one of the agents, toppling him down to the floor of the courtyard below. By the time the remaining agent realized what happened and fired, Peter had already pushed Chen away from the window.

"How did you? I thought Sam told you to..."

"Not my commanding officer,” said Peter smiling while bolting a round.

“There doesn’t seem to be any luck here." The two ducked back as a second round hit the window cell. "I wonder how Sam is doing below?” Chen asked.

"We'll find out soon." Peter was more concerned about the remaining Coil agent when he heard a familiar sound, the sound of a jammed gun. Wheeling around the corner, he fired at the agent, dropping him as the released rifle clattered around the balcony.

Sam toting his British rifle in hand, continued onward.

Call it what it is; Lee-Enfield.

Sam continued onward while toting his Lee-Enfield down by his side.

Overall, great stuff Timben!

 

[Droflet]

Or, to avoid any confusion: his British Lee-Enfield rifle. For those who don't know. Just a thought. Excellent job, THX 1138.