Mixing-my-first and third up

Jo Zebedee

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Thoughts on this -

I have done something similar before in Waters and the Wild but, in that, the person in first person didn’t come into third person at any point and it was very formally done in terms of the structure.
I want The New Thing to be like a fable, a really pared down story (so pared down I deleted from 36000 to 8500 words 2 nights ago. Hey ho) and I came across a little 300 wonder I did lately and knew that was the vibe I wanted. This is it, changed to meet the story:

It’s okay to feel like you do, they told me. The communitysurrounded me with enquiries as to how I was coping. Theirhelpful hands brought dinners to ensure I was fed. They called to see I was alive, not off killing myself with grief. They called in the mornings to see I got up.
They told me not to keep taking myself off into the glen. It’s no good for you, they said, being alone so much. But the glen was in my heart and in my roots. It was the only place I could find peace.
Along the winding path that led from my house into the green wood glen. To the waterfall, thundering from the pools above.
I visited in the early morning, and in the evening when no one was near. Just me, on the still path, and the air winding around me, filling my nose, my throat, infecting my breathing so that it became thick and unnatural. Either that, or it was grief that filled me too full.
I walked there, because we once had. I sought you in the trees, in the pools, hoping to see you both coming to me, side by side, hand in hand, together or apart, in any way you could. Once, I was sure I did see you, on the other side of the water, silent, watching. I almost walked through the depths to you.
But the gentle shake of your head, dear Jean, made me stop, mid-step. You were right, this wasn’t the time: I needed to keep going until the trial, when I’d see Colin Thompson locked up for what he did. Locked where he couldn’t take the life of another.
Step by aching step, my eyes never leaving you, I backed away, to where the air was sweeter. One day, this path would be mine again, in its right time, and you would be there, waiting. But not today. Not with work still to be done.


But then the book goes into third person.

However, the story goes back and forwards in time (my head hurts) and I’m thinking that the past events might all be in first person and the current events in third (I want distance there, but immediacy in the back story, to bring home the grief feeling, where the people being grieved for are more vivid in the scenes they are in and held closer in first)

anyone know where this sort of approach has been used and worked well?
 
anyone know where this sort of approach has been used and worked well?
Not me. But this makes sense:
I’m thinking that the past events might all be in first person and the current events in third (I want distance there, but immediacy in the back story, to bring home the grief feeling
So I think it would work.
 
I can only think of books where 1st and 3rd are used to mark different POVs/characters. But I like the idea of 1st used for past and 3rd for present. I'm sure it's been done, as it makes so much sense! (I did play around with that exact thing, but only for a flashback prologue in 1st and then the novel itself switched to 3rd.)

One good thing about using 1st/3rd throughout is that the reader will always know when they're in the past or the present!
 
past events might all be in first person and the current events in third
I've seen Margaret Atwood write a book with past chapters in past tense and current chapters in present tense. It's something I'm doing for my current WIP. Not tried mixing third and first, though have seen James Patterson use it.
 
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However, the story goes back and forwards in time (my head hurts) and I’m thinking that the past events might all be in first person and the current events in third (I want distance there, but immediacy in the back story, to bring home the grief feeling, where the people being grieved for are more vivid in the scenes they are in and held closer in first)
I really, really liked the first person bit. I could recognize it as the same story you posted previously and it was immensely more powerful. I was going to suggest why not keep it all in first person, but then I read your plan.

It could definitely work if you separated them into alternating chapters and had italics vs normal print. I think readers will catch on real quick. Do be kind to them and give them clues early on that the third person character is the same as the first person character.

As a data point, I reviewed a book recently where the author had done this by mistake (I give details in that review why I know it to be a mistake). What I did realize is that when the author slipped from third to first and back again in different chapters, I noticed it but kept reading because I was trying to engage with the plot and the switching did not bother me.

In your case you are doing it deliberately, and I think the effect will work, and I think with your skill you will get engagement no problem.
 
Well, it is of little use to you, since I can't remember where I have seen it done before, but I am convinced that I have seen it done before, though not recently, and perhaps even on more than one occasion. My general impression (again probably of little use but I tell it to you for whatever it is worth) was that it worked quite well.

But in the end, you know, the success of such things always comes down to context and execution. If this is what you really want to do, I feel confident that you could make it work.
 
The only time I have seen this done is when the MC is having a dream or a dream like flashback, these were done in the 3ed and where short and far between. I haven't seen it much but go for it.
 

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