DISCUSSION THREAD -- 300 Word Writing Challenge #49 (April 2023)

Well done @Yozh I remember when I first read it I didn't really get it, but then it hit me and I thought 'Wow, that's great'

Thanks for the votes @Ursa major @Starbeast @Wayne Mack @THX1138 and for the short-list mentions - you know who you are (y)


Don't you just hate it when you realise you've missed an important bit of info from your 300 words and it's waaaay past the edit window?

The info I felt I missed out was that I didn't make it obvious enough that the person who went through the door was a young boy
This bit
"Do you remember Tommy Jenkins?" They both shook their heads. "No? Well, about a year ago he went through that door and no one has seen or heard about him since. He just disappeared. Ever since then no one is allowed to use that door."

"Oh yes. I remember now, " said Harry. "What happened to him?"
should have been
"Do you remember little Thomas Jenkins?" They both shook their heads. "No? Well, about a year ago he went through that door and no one has seen or heard about him since. He just disappeared. Ever since then no one is allowed to use that door."

"Oh yes. I remember now, " said Harry. "He was in my year at school. What happened to him?"

and I should possibly have hinted more that the grandad was the same boy

This bit
"But grandad," frowned Sally, "you said that no one has seen him since. How could you possibly know what happened?"
could have been
"But Grandad Tom," frowned Sally, "you said that no one has seen him since. How could you possibly know what happened?"

Fortunately, I know you lot are highly intelligent beings and you'd probably worked that out anyway :)

Thanks.

That is all.

Carry on.
 
Well done Yozh. Scoring such a high percentage of votes cast is a great achievement, especially given the calibre of writers you beat.

Congratulations (rather than commiserations) are also due to Phyrebat, who (for me at least) wrote a great spooky tale that was fully worthy of its double digit vote count.

Thankyou again to those who voted and/or shortlisted my story. The last few images we have written about have - for me at least - only given thoughts of dark fantasy and/or horror. Whether that says more about me than it does about the images used, who knows? But well done to those who have been able to find science fiction in them.
 
Well done @Yozh I remember when I first read it I didn't really get it, but then it hit me and I thought 'Wow, that's great'

Thanks for the votes @Ursa major @Starbeast @Wayne Mack @THX1138 and for the short-list mentions - you know who you are (y)




The info I felt I missed out was that I didn't make it obvious enough that the person who went through the door was a young boy
This bit

should have been


and I should possibly have hinted more that the grandad was the same boy

This bit

could have been


Fortunately, I know you lot are highly intelligent beings and you'd probably worked that out anyway :)

Thanks.

That is all.

Carry on.


Until you'd mentioned I hadn't even noticed. I thought it was a really good/strong entry, and the basis for a longer story.

I think my mind must have filled in the blanks/dots; if the reader naturally does this then (for me at least) it less a 'mistake' than a considered literary choice in a limited word count Challenge.
 
Congratulations Yozh
@Yozh

My Story: I got inspirations from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll, Woody Woodpecker (Walter Lantz Studio), and the film They Call Me Trinity (1970).


Screenshot 2023-05-17 2.17.10 PM.png

Exceedingly tough competition this month. It took me days to decide on only three votes. A monstrous WELL DONE to everyone!
 
Our house guest has left, so finally got some time to come back to Chrons.

Belated Congratulations, Yozh!

Equally belated thanks for the mention Dan, otaylor, Starbeast and Phyrebrat, and most especially for the lovely vote Chris P!
 

Similar threads


Back
Top