Here is mine. (It's from a former 100 worder and is still OK and lacking. But done.)
I must say that this is a thought-provoking exercise, and possibly one of the most beneficial I have encountered here in Chronicles.
Thanks
@mosaix for suggesting this!
The Improved Eve
500 Word
Dayna walked around the large sunroom enjoying the various potted plants and flowers that she gathered from the nearby meadow. Memories of the birds and insects that inhabited it filled her mind with warm thoughts of living nature and soft fragrances, and an appreciation of the cycle of life and of the yearly seasonal changes.
Her father’s Butler entered the room with serving tray in hand. “A light lunch for you, Miss Dayna,” the Butler said putting the tray down on the table in the middle of the room. “Curtesy of your father.”
“Father? Has he finally returned?” She questioned taking a seat at the table.
“Pre-dawn, Miss,” he uncovered the tray. “Fresh vegetable salad from this morning’s harvest.”
“Where are these from, we don’t have a vegetable garden?” She was excited at the sight before her.
“Next to the stone arch, Miss.”
Perplexed, Dayna looked at the meal before her as the Butler left the sunroom. She began to enjoy the lunch, and that’s when she noticed something was wrong. All the leafy vegetables looked and tasted the same. As for the tomatoes, they had little aroma and no taste at all. The flavors of the soil, of life, were missing from the plate before her.
Repulsed, she pushed the plate away as she stood and exited the sunroom door out into the sprawling English garden before her. She hurried down the pathways through the early spring air until she came upon the arch. And there before her was the vegetable garden with her father and several clockworks carts moving amongst it.
“Dayna, I’m so glad to see you! Please come and look at what I’ve gone,” he gestured her over to the garden.
Dayna approached in disbelief, “Father, what is this? When was all of this grown, none of this was here a few weeks ago? And what of those mechanical carts?” She watched as one cart injected a row of goo into the ground and a minute later, plants slowly began to sprout forth.
Her father handed her a head of leaf lettuce, “My dear, I learned so much while I was recovering from the surgery. And thanks to our groundskeeper, I was able to do all of this in just two weeks. Fantastic isn’t?” His excitement was foreshadowed by what Dayna noticed; all the lettuce leaves were identical to the ones in the salad.
“Farther, all of this is fake. It’s not even alive! There are no birds or insects, and the soil is sterile!”
Her father paused, motionless. His head ratcheted towards her as steam whistled from his ears. “Dayna, I improved our lives, for you,” he insisted.
Dayna froze, unable to move as she realized her fate. “Father, what have you done?” She then fainted.
When she awoke, she saw her father’s true form, an incased brain on top of a clockwork skeleton. She tried to scream, but he took care of that as well.
He approached her saying, “Now your new life begins.”
400 Word
Dayna walked around the large sunroom enjoying the various potted plants and flowers that she gathered from the nearby meadow.
Her father’s Butler entered the room with serving tray in hand. “A light lunch for you, Miss Dayna,” the Butler said putting the tray down on the table in the middle of the room. “Curtesy of your father.”
“Father? Has he finally returned?” She questioned taking a seat at the table.
“Pre-dawn, Miss,” he uncovered the tray. “Fresh vegetable salad from this morning’s harvest.”
“Where are these from, we don’t have a vegetable garden?” She was excited at the sight before her.
“Next to the stone arch, Miss.”
Perplexed, Dayna looked at the meal before her as she began to enjoy it, and then she noticed was something wrong. All the vegetables looked and tasted the same; bland.
Repulsed, she pushed the plate away; exited the sunroom door out into the sprawling English garden before her. She hurried down the pathways until she came upon the arch. And there before her was the vegetable garden with her father and several clockworks carts moving amongst it.
“Dayna, I’m so glad to see you! Please come and look at what I’ve gone,” he gestured her over to the garden.
Dayna approached in disbelief, “Father, what is this? None of this was here a few weeks ago. And what of those mechanical carts?” She watched as one cart injected a row of goo into the ground and soon, plants slowly began to sprout forth.
He handed her a head of leaf lettuce, “My dear, I learned much while I was recovering from the surgery. And I was able to do all of this in just two weeks. Fantastic isn’t?” His excitement was foreshadowed by what Dayna noticed; all the vegetables were identical to the ones in the salad.
“Farther, all of this is fake. It’s not even alive! There are no birds or insects either!”
Her father paused, motionless. His head ratcheted towards her as steam whistled from his ears. “Dayna, I improved our lives, for you,” he insisted.
Dayna froze, unable to move as she realized her fate. “Father, what have you done?” She then fainted.
When she awoke, she saw her father’s true form, an incased brain on top of a clockwork skeleton. She tried to scream, but he took care of that.
He said approaching, “Now your new life begins.”
300 Word
Dayna walked around the sunroom enjoying the various plants and flowers that she gathered from the nearby meadow.
The Butler entered the room with a serving tray in hand. “A lunch for you, Miss Dayna,” he placed the tray on the table in the middle of the room. “Vegetable salad from this morning’s harvest.”
She took a seat, “Where are these from, we don’t have a vegetable garden?”
“The garden next to the stone arch, Miss.”
Perplexed, Dayna began to enjoy the lunch, and then she noticed something wrong. All the vegetables looked and tasted the same; bland.
Repulsed, she went out into the gardens then hurried down the pathways to the arch. And there was the vegetable garden with her father and several clockworks carts moving amongst it.
“Dayna, I’m so glad to see you! Please come and look at what I’ve gone,” he gestured to her.
Dayna approached in disbelief, “Father, what is this? And what of those mechanical carts?” She watched as one injected a row of goo into the ground and soon, plants began to grow.
“My dear, I learned much while I was recovering, and I was able to do all of this in just two weeks. Fantastic isn’t?” His excitement was foreshadowed by what Dayna noticed; all the vegetables were copies of the ones in the salad.
“Farther, all of this is fake. It’s not even alive!”
He paused; his head ratcheted around as steam whistled from his ears. “Dayna, I improved our lives, for you,” he insisted.
Dayna froze, unable to move. “Father, what have you done?” She fainted.
She awoke and saw her father’s true form, a brain atop a clockwork skeleton. She tried to scream but couldn’t.
He approached her, “Now your new life begins.”
200 Word
Dayna walked around the sunroom enjoying the plants and flowers she gathered from the nearby meadow.
The Butler entered the room. “A lunch for you, Miss,” he placed the tray on the table. “Vegetable salad from this morning.”
She took a seat, “Where is this from; we don’t have a vegetable garden?”
“The garden by the stone arch.”
Dayna was enjoying lunch when she noticed something was wrong. All the vegetables were bland. Repulsed, she exited the sunroom and hurried down the garden pathways to the arch, where her father and several clockworks carts labored.
“Dayna, I’m so glad to see you! Look at what I’ve gone,” he gestured to her.
Dayna approached, “Father, what is this?” A cart injected goo into the ground and soon, plants began to grow.
“I was able to do all of this in just two weeks. Fantastic isn’t?”
Dayna’s became dismayed; the vegetables were copies of each other.
“Farther, all of this is fake. It’s not alive!”
His head ratcheted as steam whistled from his ears. “Dayna, I did this for you.”
“Father?” She fainted.
She awoke to her father’s true form, a clockwork skeleton. She screamed but couldn’t.
“Now your life begins.”
100 Word
Dayna was enjoying lunch when she noticed something wrong. Repulsed, she hurried down the garden pathways to her father.
“Dayna, I’m so glad to see you! Look at what I’ve gone.”
“Father, what is this?” A cart injected goo into the ground and soon, plants began to grow.
“I was able to do all of this in just two weeks. Fantastic isn’t?”
“Farther, all of this is fake. It’s not real!”
His head ratcheted, “Dayna, I did this for you.”
“Father?”
She awoke to see her father’s clockwork skeleton but couldn’t scream.
“Now your life begins.”
