Dialog: New paragraph for each dialog sentence punctuated by action?

[msstice]

"Mmm hmm," said Johnny, and began to flip through options on the dispenser. "Ah,
small meal #4, how I missed you," he said, stabbing the console with vigor.

OR

"Mmm hmm," said Johnny, and began to flip through options on the dispenser.

"Ah, small meal #4, how I missed you," he said, stabbing the console with vigor.

OR

"Mmm hmm," said Johnny, and began to flip through options on the dispenser.
He stabbed the console with vigor, "Ah, small meal #4, how I missed you."

 

[ckatt]

Grammatically, the first two are correct. It just depends on your desired effect.

The third option has a comma splice error.

He stabbed the console with vigor, "Ah, small meal #4, how I missed you."
The two clauses here should be separated into two sentences.

He stabbed the console with vigor. "Ah, small meal #4, how I missed you."

 

[Swank]

The second one confuses the reader because the paragraph break suggests a change in speaker. I wouldn't do that.

Keep in mind that actual books don't have spaces between paragraphs. They rely on indentations. Same effect, different appearance.

 

[paranoid marvin]

From a reader's perspective, I think that the most important thing is to make the text understandable and easy on the eye for the reader. So I would definitely try to avoid big chunks of text, or two or more speakers talking in the same paragraph.

Here the speech and the action is all interconnected, so it's fine to include it in one sentence. I would go with your first option, but I would consider italicising or capitalsing and/or putting in brackets 'small meal #4' (perhaps all 3) because on first reading I thought he was speaking to a person called '#4' about a small meal. I think it's also worth considering dropping the 'began to' and I think it should be I've rather than I. I'd also consider avoiding a repetition of 'said'. So for example:

"Mmm hmm," mused Johnny, flipping through the options on the dispenser. "Ah, 'Small Meal #4', how I've missed you," he said, stabbing the console with vigor.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

If you’re using action tags you don’t need the he said. My preference would be the first one:


"Mmm hmm.” Johnny began to flip through options on the dispenser. "Ah,
small meal #4, how I missed you.” He stabbed the console with vigor.

It aids narration on audio books too

 

[tinkerdan]

I agree.

If you’re using action tags you don’t need the he said. My preference would be the first one:


"Mmm hmm.” Johnny began to flip through options on the dispenser. "Ah,
small meal #4, how I missed you.” He stabbed the console with vigor.

I would change it a bit though.

"Mmm hmm.” Johnny flipped through options on the dispenser. "Ah, small meal number four," he stabbed the console with vigor, "how I missed you.”

 

[mosaix]

I prefer option three but with the comma splice error, mentioned by @ckatt, corrected.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

I agree.

I would change it a bit though.

"Mmm hmm.” Johnny flipped through options on the dispenser. "Ah, small meal number four," he stabbed the console with vigor, "how I missed you.”

I'm not sure this part "Ah, small meal number four," he stabbed the console with vigor, "how I missed you.” is correct - the comma can't join where an action tag is used. I think it would need to be a dash (not sure which one) either side of the action.

 

[Swank]

I'm not sure this part "Ah, small meal number four," he stabbed the console with vigor, "how I missed you.” is correct - the comma can't join where an action tag is used. I think it would need to be a dash (not sure which one) either side of the action.

Given that the first section of dialogue receives a comma due to the structure of the dialogue sentence prior to the insertion of a tag, I don't see how you are going to add dashes:

"Ah, small meal number four," - he stabbed the console with vigor - "how I missed you.”
," - is kind of a punctuation mess.

"Ah, small meal number four" - he stabbed the console with vigor - "how I missed you.”
Isn't right because that comma after four separates the phrase "small meal number four" from the rest of the sentence "Ah, how I missed you."


I think we might be in one of those situations where there isn't a strict rule to apply.

 

[Wayne Mack]

I feel it is best to keep a character's dialog and actions together in a single paragraph. I am also a fan of pushing action beats in front of dialog lines as it sets the tone for the speech. Consider

Johnny began to flip through options on the dispenser. "Mmm, hmm." Then, his eyes lit up and he stabbed the console with vigor. "Ah, small meal #4, how I missed you!"​

 

[Swank]

I feel it is best to keep a character's dialog and actions together in a single paragraph. I am also a fan of pushing action beats in front of dialog lines as it sets the tone for the speech. Consider

Johnny began to flip through options on the dispenser. "Mmm, hmm." Then, his eyes lit up and he stabbed the console with vigor. "Ah, small meal #4, how I missed you!"​

I think the way he wrote it is funnier. Did you change it merely to avoid the punctuation issue?

 

[tinkerdan]

"Ah, small meal number four," he stabbed the console with vigor, "how I missed you.” is correct - the comma can't join where

Yes it needs work.
What I would do is.
"Ah, small meal number four..." he stabbed the console with vigor, "how I missed you.”
As the simplest nonintrusive pause.

However the comma pause should be adequate and the structure as it is still carries the way it needs to be read as a pause in speech-the actions-and then continuation of the speech.