I don't think I can fully understand your problem or how you got there, but I do have a similar outcome.
When I was about 20 I only had to grab a pen, sit down (but usually in reversed order) and write a story. I hardly had to think, it just flowed from... somewhere.
Originally I wrote stories to read at parties and such, just for fun; at a wedding a story about the groom (a friend of mine), a farewell story for someone who got drafted and would be missed at our weekly get-together. Often the stories were based on a fairy-tale, re-written and re-wired to fit the subject (or victim, if you like.) My friend the groom was a computer-nerd, so I wrote The Emperor's New Computer. For the military service victim I wrote 3 stories within a week, because I had doubts whether the first 2 would be liked. (They were.)
Then I got a job and I wrote less and less. With a few exceptions* I haven't produced anything during the period until my retirement, September 2019. Which happens also to be the moment I joined this forum. But writing anything longer than 300 words? No. Well, maybe, if I got a really good idea. But the whole notion is in itself too daunting. Perhaps I need more time to recuperate from 45 years of work..
Where some writers write from some inner restlessness or drive based upon their personal situation, feelings or issues, I can only write when my mind is clear and uncluttered. Untroubled. The older I get the more rubbish my mind is stacking. It clutters the freeway of imaginative thinking. At least for me.
And yet. Writing is one of the most gratifying activities I know... when you managed to finish it satisfactorily.
* I wrote the obituaries for my mother, father and eldest brother and read those at their funeral. Which was an honor and very rewarding to do, but not exactly stories.