Write an opening that would stop you buying a book

BAYLOR

There Are Always new Things to Learn.
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It was a dark and stormy night .

Oh wait, somebody already used that one.;)
 

Elckerlyc

"Philosophy will clip an angel's wings."
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It was a stormy night. And dark too. The air was full with a howling and creaking and banging that made you wish it was not dark, so you could see what was howling or creaking, or howling and creaking, or banging. The wind did its best, but that night it could not chase the dark away. Or the howling, creaking and banging.
 

Astro Pen

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It was a stormy night. And dark too. The air was full with a howling and creaking and banging that made you wish it was not dark, so you could see what was howling or creaking, or howling and creaking, or banging. The wind did its best, but that night it could not chase the dark away. Or the howling, creaking and banging.
That sounds like the kind of long dark night where you wish for the first glimmer of dawn to release you from the grip of the writer's demons that torture your very soul and make you ask...
"Is 7:45 too early to phone the printers to explain that you have changed your mind about the beginning of your book?"
Or have they already done a print run on the night shift AAAGH!
 

Elckerlyc

"Philosophy will clip an angel's wings."
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That sounds like the kind of long dark night where you wish for the first glimmer of dawn to release you from the grip of the writer's demons that torture your very soul and make you ask...
"Is 7:45 too early to phone the printers to explain that you have changed your mind about the beginning of your book?"
Or have they already done a print run on the night shift AAAGH!
And of course that night they did a nightly print run, for no particular reason, and which they had never done before. It was the howling, creaking and banging you heard...
 

RavenLuvr5689

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Nov 15, 2023
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In this action packed novel, Ex navy seal officer Valkeera Glyatszki discovers his best friend from Service has gone missing. When he tries to visit him by surprise, he ends up with the surprise. The walls were covered in red engraved claw marks against white walls, furniture thrown as if a person held onto every item possible before being taken, vases blown up across the floor, and worst of all bullet holes in the door frame. Valkeera knew something had happened to his best friend, especially after the things they learned overseas, this most likely was life or death battle with a big bullseye on both their backs.
That was a risk Glyatszki was willing to take, read this action packed novel of explosions, fight scenes, love, revenge. An all together blood pumping- adrenaline packed beauty. Do you dare to see what the end may be for these two soldiers?

I hate action whether its movie or book I just can not with how much fluff there is. I also feel like because it's action you're either waiting for the action or in constant action, there's no real suspense, for me at least. So this for me would be an automatic ick, I prefer fantasy, horror, or romance, if none of the above are in it, I don't want it.
 

ScrappyScribbler

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Jan 31, 2024
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What I Did Last Summer

It was a really fun summer and I had a good time. I want to tell you about the good time I had. I thought I was going to spend the summer with my aunt and uncle in the Poconos, but then that fell through and, well, I ended up staying at home all summer. That probably sounds terribly boring, but it was actually a lot better than you'd think. I was working on this basketball shot where you just kind of wind up without looking at the basket, and I practiced it over and over when it wasn't raining. There were some rainy days, and one time I stepped outside right into a puddle the size of a tub of water that's so full the water is spilling over the sides and covering the floor, and I got my new basketball sneakers wet. I spent all my allowance on those sneakers, and they were really white like frosting on those cakes at the store, but then I tried to wash them but there was iron in the water so they turned kind of a rusty brown, like they'd been sitting in a toilet after dropping a big load. But most of the time it was sunny and hot. One time I had this amazing dream...

And so on, ad nauseam. Without a single merciful paragraph break.
 

ANV

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Feb 5, 2024
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The body was still warm when I found her.
My wife. My everything.
Her blond long hair stained with blood, her beautiful curves lifeless.
She was my world, my everything. But I could not waste time mourning. Grief could not stay in my way. I had to find the murderer.
Find him and kill him.

----

And I am sure that the hero succeeded, cause those always do. And I am sure, that his wife did not have a name during the whole story, or a character ... or any other impact besides being dead. And I just cannot read those.
 

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