Can anyone give a good example of "show don't tell"?

[DAgent]

This one sometimes confuses me in the age of "Internet Critics" reviewing movies and TV shows and using this phrase time and time again in an often dismissive manner. I often feel the term has lost it's meaning somewhat.

To give an example, I watched a review of the new "Masters of the Universe" cartoon and the reviewer (who didn't like the series at all) criticised Man-At-Arms dialogue for referring to Teela as having proved she had mastered a number of skills. This was on the grounds that we are being told rather then shown she was any good at it. The thing is, this is during a party to celebrate Teelas knighthood, something she would have earned by having proved she had those skills beforehand. It could be argued that this whole scene was an example of showing she had those skills by being rewarded for having proved it.

To me this would be like saying that in the first episode of a TV show where we see someone receiving their PHD for physics and having their praises sung by the head of the university, is bad writing because we are being told they are good, rather then being shown, when the context of the situation is not being taken into account. Or totally ignored just to trash the show.

Surely the context of the scene should also be taken into account?

A similar thing happened with a different reviewer who complained about "Tell don't show" in the second Star Wars prequel. Where Anakin and Obi Wan are going up a lift to the Jedi Masters and reminiscing about old adventures, smiling and laughing about it. The reviewer claimed this was bad because we're being told how close they were rather then being shown evidence of it, even though, as I said we can see them smiling and laughing and sharing tales they were fond of.

This and many other similar stories has left me wondering if people really understand what the term really means for live action, and when it comes to creative writing it's left me questioning myself what would be best to here. For example, some people hate exposition via dialogue in any medium, seemingly forgetting that's one of the ways in the real world we find stuff out, talking to another.

Say you've got a detective figuring things out, and they are either talking out loud to themselves, thinking inside their head or the narrative is filing in the blanks of them figuring if out, how would you make that a case of "showing" rather than "telling"? Or is there going to be some situations where "telling" is just unavoidable?

Bit wordier then I wanted it to be, so thanks for reading through it all.

 

[Karn's Return]

Basically, something like this:

Tell: The wind blew the curtains.

Show: Curtains rustled softly, as the gentle night breeze danced into the open window.

 

[AnyaKimlin]

I usually go with the rule "don't bore the backside off the reader"

However the example I use is:

Frodo was angry that Gandalf had left him to wash the dishes again.

VS

Multiple breakfasts create a mound of dishes. Frodo snapped on his Marigolds and squirted the Fairy into the bowl. He banged the dishes around, enough so Gandalf could hear him but not so much that he broke them. He turned the hot tap on full and as the steaming water ran into the bowl he smiled at the frustrated screams coming from the shower.

 

[Karn's Return]

You know, Anya, that DOES conjure up some very…interesting questions about the real relationship between Gandalf and the Bagginses…

 

[Biskit]

As @AnyaKimlin said...

I usually go with the rule "don't bore the backside off the reader"

I'm sure there's been a thread recently about show-vs-tell and one of the points made there came down to: if you do everything by "show" then the reader is going to grow old and die before the story is done. You, as the writer, really have to decide what needs to be shown, and what needs to be told.

I particularly like AnyaKimlin's example, because you can turn it around depending on context - if Frodo were a minor character, then the one-sentence "tell" version might make sense. With Frodo as a major character, the show version does more than just let the reader know that Frodo is in a bad mood, it tells you something about his character, whilst setting both mood and scene.

 

[AnyaKimlin]

You know, Anya, that DOES conjure up some very…interesting questions about the real relationship between Gandalf and the Bagginses…

they couldn't afford a decent plumber

 

[Karn's Return]

they couldn't afford a decent plumber

Now that is just pure bull malarkey, they know perfectly well Mario would have zipped on over in an instant. Luigi, even, just to show the red man up for once.

 

[AnyaKimlin]

Now that is just pure bull malarkey, they know perfectly well Mario would have zipped on over in an instant. Luigi, even, just to show the red man up for once.

Gandalf is just a skinflint and won't pay their rates. Mario isn't doing mates rates not after last time.

 

[Karn's Return]

Well, to be fair, Wario really DOES eat too much garlic...


But yes, the ultimate point is, tell is often short, blunt, and rather boring. Show, as shown above, often takes more thought and more words in total, but the images it conjures up are far more vivid and detailed. But as with just about any "rule" in writing, show; don't tell isn't a hard or fast adherence. Sometimes it's best just to skim over something quickly, often when it is just there as a simple response in situation. You don't want to go Shakespeare on everything you do.

 

[sule]

I think telling can be a useful tool, mainly for saving time. I haven't watched the show that you referenced, but for my taste I'm fine with an early "this is what the character is capable of" to move us on quickly, especially if those skills are going to eventually be shown to us. For example, in the original Star Wars, Luke tells Han, "I'm not such a bad pilot myself," which saves time establishing that he can pilot an X-Wing late in the movie. Is it clumsy? Yes, but if the alternative is that we have to watch an extra ten minute scene where Luke shows us his skills as a pilot, I think it's necessary in a medium where you have limited time.

I agree with your premise that most reviewers invoke "show don't tell" when they want to criticize something they didn't like and want to look like they know what they are talking about. "Show don't tell" is a pithy maxim that people like to throw around, and it's just vague enough that it can be applied to almost anything. Your example of Obi-Wan and Anakin can both be said to be "told" because the characters are "telling" each other information that verges on "as you know" dialogue, but (as you pointed out) it can also be an example of "show" because it is showing the relationship dynamics between the two characters.

In my opinion, "telling" is not by itself an icon of bad storytelling because both "telling" and "showing" are useful tools of a storyteller. The only time that telling, for me, goes awry, is either when you have maid-and-butler dialogue (which is characters telling other characters things that they already know in order to get the information to the audience, e.g.-"As you know...") or when the thing we're being told is something the author wants us to take for granted but is never backed up by the ensuing narrative. (For example, in the novel Ready Player One, the narrator insists that the economy is crumbling, that there are rolling blackouts and people are starving, yet the audience never actually sees the characters experience a blackout and the main character seems to have enough money for anything he needs to do)

I think the best way to use "telling" is to accomplish multiple things within a limited timeframe. In Attack of the Clones, I would argue that the scene with the two Jedi in the elevator shows multiple things: that some time has passed, that these two characters are very comfortable with each other, and that they've had multiple harrowing adventures that they're able to laugh about. Is the scene perfect? Most scenes aren't. (I would have liked the setting to be slightly more interesting or the dialogue a touch snappier). But I think if you can make a scene or single line of dialogue do multiple things (advance plot, establish setting, establish character motivations or backstory, advance one or more character arcs, foreshadow, etc.,) then it doesn't matter if someone else comes along and thinks it violates "show don't tell." People have their own tastes; as writers we need to be aware of that, and what's perfectly acceptable to one person is another person's pet peeve.

 

[M. Robert Gibson]

I'm sure there's been a thread recently about show-vs-tell

Found the other thread

Show don't Tell concept is confusing

The 'show, don't tell' concept in writing has never been my forte. Exactly, what do writers mean when they say that? I've tried to grasp the concept but it's either not explained in enough detail or it's too complex for me to understand. Maybe it's because I don't pay much attention to the finer...

www.sffchronicles.com

Found another one

Show vs Tell a new perspective

I keep seeing "Show don't tell" as a hard and fast rule, this is pretty close to my thoughts on the whole thing: From a tumblr post: “The quickest show not tell tip ever: ‘Always show, not tell,’ is a big fat lie. If you always show, you’ll have half a novel of descriptive words and flowery...

www.sffchronicles.com

and another

Show vs Tell vs Overly Long Explanation

Context: I'm writing a largely historical/very low fantasy novel. I'm currently reading Giles Kristian's God of Vengence and while I like his style a lot in this book (a big improvement I feel on his first few) there's a few places I've been jolted by his descriptions of things. Particularly...

www.sffchronicles.com

and another

"Show, don't tell" - Is "telling" always evil?

Why "Show, don't tell"? This is SF writer Robert J. Sawyer's explanation: "First, what's the difference between the two? Well, "telling" is the reliance on simple exposition: Mary was an old woman. "Showing," on the other hand, is the use of evocative description: Mary moved slowly across...

www.sffchronicles.com

and another

Is it Show or Tell?

I am having trouble understanding the difference between show and tell in writing. I am being told that I tell my stories instead of show them, and this bugs me. Can anyone here give me examples of show and tell so that I might get a better understanding of this concept. I do know, however, that...

www.sffchronicles.com

Phew! Perhaps Show don't Tell needs its own forum

 

[Jo Zebedee]

Chekhov says don’t tell us the moon is bright, show us the gleam of light off broken glass. (Paraphrased)
Still the best description I know.

 

[sknox]

First and foremost, I'd advise the OP to go find such examples for themselves. This isn't being dismissive. It's how you sharpen your eye, tune your ears, in terms that make sense *to you*.

I know for myself that I've read any number of examples. Almost none of them resonate. I can see what's being illustrated, but nothing resonates. But when I'm reading a passage I'll have these moments where it's "oh, I see what the author's doing here" and those moments are golden.

This is about internalizing, of course. It's why so many authors say the very best advice is read, read, read. They're really saying to read with a purpose, to read as a writer, looking for techniques that include show versus tell.

FWIW, I've come to much the same conclusion as others on this thread. Showing and telling are both part of storytelling (there's no such word as storyshowing; I wonder if that's significant). Write as best you can and let the critics argue over the product.

 

[M. Robert Gibson]

And to answer the question posed in the title, here's something from The Toolbox by @The Judge

The Toolbox -- The Important Bits

EDITED POST This is a slimmed-down version of The Toolbox -- Free For All thread, in that a lot of the questions and answers raised there have been removed from here, so as to concentrate on the more essential posts. This thread is closed so it doesn't get overwhelmed with yet more questions...

www.sffchronicles.com

 

[Wayne Mack]

Telling is direct and terse as the writer directly informs the reader of an intended conclusion. It tends to move the story along more quickly. Showing is more verbose as the writer provides external details and leaves it up to the reader to deduce a conclusion. It tends to move the story along at a slower pace.

Jason was a rich man.

vs.

Jason stepped out of his porsche, the red one that he used on Wednesdays. The silk cravat around his neck was just the right shade of purple to highlight the gold stick pin holding it clasped at his neck. He carefully pulled off the doe skin driving gloves, folded them, and placed them in the back pocket of his tailored trousers.

Arguably, any one of the three sentences would be sufficient by itself to imply wealth.

 

[JS Wiig]

Charades?

 

[Steve Harrison]

It's easy to get hung up on show v tell, as I well know from my early writing days when I took such things seriously. But these days I see telling and showing primarily as pacing tools selected on a needs basis.

 

[Laura R Hepworth]

I agree with @Steve Harrison. There is a time to show, and there is a time to tell and using both in balance with the other can yield great results. Too much showing can bore readers just as much as too much telling by bogging down the story with too much description (earning the complaint of 'purple prose'), while too much telling is abrupt and feels lacking as it isn't as immersive to read.

 

[tinkerdan]

Yes, but you could do well to trim the excess.

Jason stepped out of his porsche, the red one that he used on Wednesdays. The silk cravat around his neck was just the right shade of purple to highlight the gold stick pin holding it clasped at his neck. He carefully pulled off the doe skin driving gloves, folded them, and placed them in the back pocket of his tailored trousers.

However, in this instance it appears almost a bit of parody so I'd suggest that you use both showing and telling and put the excess into a single sentence followed by the more compact summary conclusion.

As Jason stood by his red 'Wednesdays' Porsche, the wind whipped his silk cravat hard against the gold stick pin clasp and his doe skin driving gloved hand wafted Tom Ford while keeping the wind's antics from obscuring the image of his well manicured face in the side mirror. Jason was rich. Moreover, conceited.

 

[mosaix]

Read 'Flowers For Algernon'. The entire book is a 'show don't tell' example.