- Jan 22, 2008
I disagree about the "boots" rather than "feet" comment, as it's a pretty standard English idiom, but I agree that this is rather unwieldy:
It just feels like too much for one sentence (and it's hard to work out the timing of the action). It could be a short paragraph, as @Matchu says. I would also ditch words like "vile", which feel like the author telling the reader what to think.After another cheer, Kae waited as their vile comments and shouts for her to spend her money here reached a fevered pitch.