Switching between journal entries and first person POV?

[Rachel D]

Hello! I'm new here and working on my first novel (YA Sci-Fi) that I'm hoping to finish a first draft of by the end of the year. I started out writing it entirely as journal entries (I was inspired by Jo Walton's Among Others), but found it too restrictive, so I've expanded to also include some passages in first person POV. Switching between the journal entries and first person feels really jarring to me, I'm looking for examples of other books that have done this.

I'm trying to decide if I'll stick with the combination of the journal and first person or just go all-in on one or the other.

Thanks!

 

[QuizzicalCat]

Hi! I'm new here, too! As a reader, I think the most important consideration of POV or modality shifts in novels is how they can serve to enrich your story. As long as your journal entries provide readers with something that you can communicate more effectively or in a more meaningful or impactful way, then go for it!

Are your journal entries written by the same character as your first person narration? If so, this can provide some space for introspection where this character might reveal, allude, or foreshadow something they might not otherwise. Are the journal entries sprinkled in here or there, or is it the other way around? In either case, write what feels right. You can always go back and change things if you don't like it. Just ask yourself what purpose the shift in narration accomplishes, if it adds to character/ story development, and why this specific shift allows that. Answering that last question will clue you in to your character's deeper motivations.

I'm drawing a blank on example texts, but have you read Shade's Children by Garth Nix (1997)? He does a great job shifting between character viewpoints and interspersing them with recordings of journal-like entries from the characters where you get a deeper glimpse into their personalities and development. They're short, but they add so much intricacy to the narrative. I'm trying to think of something more fantasy oriented to provide contrast, but I've got nothing. I'll add more if I can remember anything else.

Congrats on your noveling efforts! I hope this input is relevant and beneficial to your deliberations!

 

[Mouse]

As far as I remember, The Possessions of Doctor Forest does this.

 

[Biskit]

Hi @Rachel D, and welcome to Chrons!

What is it that you are finding too restrictive about the journal entries? Are your journal entries presented like a 1st POV in themselves, or are they written by some non-involved observer of the story? I'm a fan of 1st POV which itself can be quite restrictive, but I find it also helps to focus on what matters in the story, and it also gives a very personal view of events.

(That said, my pet hate is 1st POV written more like a 3rd POV with pronouns changed. I always feel that 1st POV ought to be quite intimate, and not too neutral in its presentation. Of course that might be a reaction to changing from dry, neutral technical writing where once I might have said "the sample was heated until significant pyrolysis was observed" and now I would put it more like "I threw the damn thing into the hottest oven I could find and watched it burn." )

 

[Teresa Edgerton]

(That said, my pet hate is 1st POV written more like a 3rd POV with pronouns changed. I always feel that 1st POV ought to be quite intimate, and not too neutral in its presentation. Of course that might be a reaction to changing from dry, neutral technical writing where once I might have said "the sample was heated until significant pyrolysis was observed" and now I would put it more like "I threw the damn thing into the hottest oven I could find and watched it burn." )

I wish it was possible to like parts of a post more than once.

 

[tinkerdan]

This yes,yes this.

(That said, my pet hate is 1st POV written more like a 3rd POV with pronouns changed. I always feel that 1st POV ought to be quite intimate, and not too neutral in its presentation. Of course that might be a reaction to changing from dry, neutral technical writing where once I might have said "the sample was heated until significant pyrolysis was observed" and now I would put it more like "I threw the damn thing into the hottest oven I could find and watched it burn." )

Anyway; when I think of journal I think of something personal like a diary and I'd almost expect that to be in first person anyway. So switching to another narration through first person seems like it offers the same restrictions.

an interesting book I picked up in 2015

Amazon.com

The diary of Pelly D
Has third person narrative of a person who finds and presents the first person diary entries.
Which also gives you the purpose of having two points of view.

 

[Biskit]

Has third person narrative of a person who finds and presents the first person diary entries.

For whatever reason, this reminds me of Juliet McKenna's "Thief's Gambit" which is a first person narrative interspersed with third person segments. It works reasonably well.

 

[K.S. Crooks]

Using journal entries is a nice way to show your character's inner monologue. The reader can see what they want or plan to do and then what they actually do given the changing circumstances. Or allow the character to reflect on their choices or the choices of others. Bram stoker's Dracula is a great novel to see the use of journals and letters.

 

[Rachel D]

Thanks all for the advice and recommendations! I'm going to do some more reading to get some ideas. Sorry for the long delay, had to take a bit of a break from writing and researching this for personal reasons.

A few additional thoughts and comments:

Are your journal entries written by the same character as your first person narration? If so, this can provide some space for introspection where this character might reveal, allude, or foreshadow something they might not otherwise.

Yes, it's the same character as the first person narration. The main character is a teenage girl, so the journal is meant to be a place where she can be a little more... teenagey... for lack of a better word. I need to think more about what I really want to accomplish with the journal entries.

What is it that you are finding too restrictive about the journal entries? Are your journal entries presented like a 1st POV in themselves, or are they written by some non-involved observer of the story?

The main restriction that I'm finding laborious is the lack of dialogue in a journal-entry only piece. It's just so much harder to write! The book is written in 1st POV and contains the journal entries written by the same character in the flow of the story.

 

[Biskit]

The main restriction that I'm finding laborious is the lack of dialogue in a journal-entry only piece. It's just so much harder to write! The book is written in 1st POV and contains the journal entries written by the same character in the flow of the story.

I don't have a problem putting dialog into a journal entry, but I suppose it depends on how formal your journal is or what the journal was written for. If you're mixing a 1st POV account with a journal written by the same narrator I can see an argument for differentiating the two. I'm not sure I would want that difference, but then the sort of character where I might do that sort of mix would probably write their "account" and "journal" the same way.

(For a silly example of a journal aka blog entry with sort-of dialog: Chicken In Distress)