Thanks for the response @Kharn . To restate what I had regarding using italics for everyone but Rokka-Kae, the reason is... Her voice (non-italics) is spoken openly like someone using earbuds/blue-tooth, etc.. So, anyone around her can hear it--so it IS dialogue. However, every other communication seen, is ONLY what Rokka-Kae hears over her earpieces. Those around Rokka-Kae would not hear it. With others around detached, it comes off as a 'voice in her head,' why I went with italics for thought. 
As to the break between the alert/ident and message... You're right, a comma would accurately represent that. However, the colon used in the transcripts (which are lacking some of the actual verbalized dialogue), makes it obvious that we're not reading strictly 'face-to-face' dialogue. A colon is wrong to use, so is a semi-colon based on what their typical use. An ellipsis is wrong (like I have) due to there is no missing dialogue or other uses, and an EM dash is too long/hard of a stop. Hence my debate on this
@Star-child ; I'm not so sure I agree.
98% of the story takes place with Rokka-Kae out among the oppressed masses. The story, however, is more about Rokka-Kae directly bucking the government. A government detached from the people, only using her and the people to their own ends. The people only face the end result of that government's oppression, a very tiny/superficial tip of the depth of it (in many cases, meant to be Rokka-Kae and her duties which she refuses to perform)...So, a lot of the motivation, attitudes, malicious cruelty, and callous attitudes 'of the government,' would never be revealed to the reader unless I have Kae walking around constantly moping about it, as she dwells on it.
Instead, I can show direct interaction, attitudes, bias, malice and so on, of the government, through those communications (like dialogue), as they try to get Rokka-Kae to do their bidding. If it was just clutter/fluff, I'd agree with you. Yet it's not. Again, the story is about Kae working toward taking an active role, rebelling against the government.
As an example, previous to this dialogue, in an area packed with people, a government gunner on the wall has just killed ALL 30 people who attacked their guards. Kae is out among the people, who are all innocents. I'll use (parentheses) to explain aspects.
“Central Dispatch…cease firing at the C-16 gate. The attackers are dead!” Kae called in frantically.
‘Reaper-379, Central Dispatch…roger, understood. You are ordered to begin harvesting (killing) the rioters. Clear the area of all weeds (derogatory term for the people/citizens) in range. Estimate is four thousand, over.’ (IOW: kill everyone you see)
“Central, negative…the rioters have all been killed, cease firing!”
‘Reaper-379, Sector-10 Command…’ a new voice began. ‘You are ordered to expend all ordnance on the weeds in the area. Begin harvesting, now. Confirm and comply, over.’ (a commander emphasizing the governments demand to commit genocide upon their own citizens in general. IOW, the government's actual intentions)
Thanks everyone for responding,
K2
As to the break between the alert/ident and message... You're right, a comma would accurately represent that. However, the colon used in the transcripts (which are lacking some of the actual verbalized dialogue), makes it obvious that we're not reading strictly 'face-to-face' dialogue. A colon is wrong to use, so is a semi-colon based on what their typical use. An ellipsis is wrong (like I have) due to there is no missing dialogue or other uses, and an EM dash is too long/hard of a stop. Hence my debate on this
@Star-child ; I'm not so sure I agree.
98% of the story takes place with Rokka-Kae out among the oppressed masses. The story, however, is more about Rokka-Kae directly bucking the government. A government detached from the people, only using her and the people to their own ends. The people only face the end result of that government's oppression, a very tiny/superficial tip of the depth of it (in many cases, meant to be Rokka-Kae and her duties which she refuses to perform)...So, a lot of the motivation, attitudes, malicious cruelty, and callous attitudes 'of the government,' would never be revealed to the reader unless I have Kae walking around constantly moping about it, as she dwells on it.
Instead, I can show direct interaction, attitudes, bias, malice and so on, of the government, through those communications (like dialogue), as they try to get Rokka-Kae to do their bidding. If it was just clutter/fluff, I'd agree with you. Yet it's not. Again, the story is about Kae working toward taking an active role, rebelling against the government.
As an example, previous to this dialogue, in an area packed with people, a government gunner on the wall has just killed ALL 30 people who attacked their guards. Kae is out among the people, who are all innocents. I'll use (parentheses) to explain aspects.
“Central Dispatch…cease firing at the C-16 gate. The attackers are dead!” Kae called in frantically.
‘Reaper-379, Central Dispatch…roger, understood. You are ordered to begin harvesting (killing) the rioters. Clear the area of all weeds (derogatory term for the people/citizens) in range. Estimate is four thousand, over.’ (IOW: kill everyone you see)
“Central, negative…the rioters have all been killed, cease firing!”
‘Reaper-379, Sector-10 Command…’ a new voice began. ‘You are ordered to expend all ordnance on the weeds in the area. Begin harvesting, now. Confirm and comply, over.’ (a commander emphasizing the governments demand to commit genocide upon their own citizens in general. IOW, the government's actual intentions)
Thanks everyone for responding,
K2
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