If I turned you into a fish, would you like it if I then used you to hit others?
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DISCUSSION -- November 2018 -- 85 Word Challenge
- Thread starter The Judge
- Start date
Graymalkin
Well-Known Member
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- Mar 22, 2018
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And so it all comes tumbling down. Sigh ...
Joshua Jones
Well-Known Member
Hmmm... I think it depends on if they have it coming or not... some people just need to be hit in the side of the head with a wet fish. Depending on the recipient, it could be an honor!
Did you mean honour?
Or are you returning to something more akin to this website's porpoise, and thus referring to Honor Herrington...?
Joshua Jones
Well-Known Member
That depends; would it forestall Nixie turning me into a fish and throwing me in with Wally?
Btw, I think the website's porpoise is caught in that tuna net. She seems happy munching on the tuna, but we may want to get her out...
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In fact it should be noted that the Pythoneers did much disservice to the Nobel and ancient sport of fish slapping.
Although amusing and I confess I've laughed many times at the sketch of the two gentle men taking part in a supposed contest.
HOWEVER, their whole representation of a "Slap Up" was completely wrong.
For instance, the approach stance, the holding of the fish prior to the slap and even the size of the fish (Which some say should have been filleted, though not all agree) made a mockery of the sport. The fact that no medics were present, just in case, and worst of all, the suggestion it was an outside sport (It's like suggesting darts should be played in a swimming pool). Also the facile suggestion that your opponent should stand and wait for a slap is nonsensical. "Fish Slapping" is not a game of Conkers.
I know for a fact it has taken years for the sport to return to it's former glory and traditional rules.
Fish slapping is an inside sport and takes place in a proper "Net" (a caged area of fish hooks surrounding a circle drawn on a marble floor - in fact cage fighting draws it's roots from this). The main aim is to either knock your opponent unconscious or "Slap" him out of the ring in a similar way to Sumo Wrestling (although that crude and unsavoury sport doesn't hold a candle to a true "Fish Slap" which can last for hours or even days.
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Joshua Jones
Well-Known Member
Did the Pythoneers actually do such a sketch? I may need to Google this...
Joshua Jones
Well-Known Member
Recent events have prompted the founding of a new ministry, directly adjacent to the Cracked Pot, for the regulation, provision, and possible taxation of slapstick fish. I was asked to announce it for all parties present. In other news...
*slaps @Graymalkin with a halibut*
*slaps @Graymalkin with a halibut*
Luiglin
by day Stuart Orford by night Dark Lord's scribe
Is there any regulations on fish? I mean, would a Manta Ray be acceptable as a slapper? How about aTurbot? Also, do you have to catch your own?
It takes all sorts....
Graymalkin
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Mar 22, 2018
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- 305
Umm ... it may have escaped the moderators notice but I'm slowly being gudgeo ... bludgeoned into unconscionableness. Someone's clearly taken the piscine liberty!
I woke up this morning, looked at the Chrons and said, "wow, there's a lot of new comments on that thread. There must be something cool they have been discussing while I was offline!"
And... Uh... Yeah. Now that I've caught up... Yeah.
And... Uh... Yeah. Now that I've caught up... Yeah.
Joshua Jones
Well-Known Member
Apologies; regulatory questions need to be submitted to office 21b on the 4th floor. They are currently projecting a 2 hour wait time, so you may want to go there quickly.
Enforcement complaints must be submitted in triplicate with original signatures of you and either a moderator or a local law enforcement professional on each to establish probable cause to open an inquiry into opening a preliminary investigation.
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A bit late than never, but here is the unconverted version of my story:
“Dad, I’m going to miss you! How long will you be gone?”
“I’m going be the first human to travel right across the galaxy. That’s 100,000 light years!
“587,862,537,318,300,000 miles! And travelling like a car at 70 mph it would take 8,398,036,247,404,285 hours – that’s 349,918,176,975,178 or 958,679,936,918 years!”
“Dad, you can’t be gone that long!”
“Well using the new Quantum Slice drive you take the light years and divide them by the detonation capacity, which is 0.0085.“
“Ummm, 75?”
“No Billy, not this time.”
and, of course, congratulations to Tywin
“Dad, I’m going to miss you! How long will you be gone?”
“I’m going be the first human to travel right across the galaxy. That’s 100,000 light years!
“587,862,537,318,300,000 miles! And travelling like a car at 70 mph it would take 8,398,036,247,404,285 hours – that’s 349,918,176,975,178 or 958,679,936,918 years!”
“Dad, you can’t be gone that long!”
“Well using the new Quantum Slice drive you take the light years and divide them by the detonation capacity, which is 0.0085.“
“Ummm, 75?”
“No Billy, not this time.”
and, of course, congratulations to Tywin
Daysman
Newfangled Member
For a brief shining moment everything got a little Camelot around here (it is a very silly place).
Joshua Jones
Well-Known Member
*slaps Daysman with a herring* Welcome to the Chrons! It is still rather silly over in the Lounge...
Graymalkin
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- Mar 22, 2018
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- 305
I insist Joshua Jones like this post.
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Joshua Jones
Well-Known Member
Taken care of, my friend. Have you recovered from your prior fish slapping?
Graymalkin
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- Mar 22, 2018
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Dear MR Gibson. I can be bothered doing a search on YouTube. Could you point me to the video above? Many thanks in advance.