August 100 Anon Challenge Story Thread

mosaix

Shropshire, U.K.
Supporter
Joined
Feb 13, 2006
Messages
6,549
Location
Shropshire, U.K.
#2
Final Exam

Headmaster: “Your assignment is to retrieve a ring, placed in the eagle’s nest.” Looking up, I can just make out the eyrie. “You will have exactly three minutes to accomplish this task. Are you ready?” I nod. “Go.”

I speak the words to transform myself into an avian. I shrink. Wings and feathers grow. I try to fly.

What? We gain the knowledge and abilities of the creatures we turn into, while retaining our own – why can I not fly?

Wings Feathers. No flight? I’m poultry!

Students laughing at Chicken-me. Headmaster shaking his head.

Another year of schooling.
 

mosaix

Shropshire, U.K.
Supporter
Joined
Feb 13, 2006
Messages
6,549
Location
Shropshire, U.K.
#3
Nolo Contendere

"How do you plead?"

"I cannot respond, your honor."

"Explain. I warn you that failure to enter a plea may result in a charge of contempt of court."

"I am accused of violating the Second Law. I cannot plead guilty or not guilty, your honor."

"Clerk, for the record, recite the Second Law."

"A robot must obey orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law."

"No harm came to any human being, so the First Law does not apply here. What were you ordered to do?"

"Disobey the Second Law."

"Case dismissed."
 

mosaix

Shropshire, U.K.
Supporter
Joined
Feb 13, 2006
Messages
6,549
Location
Shropshire, U.K.
#4
Racing Trials Today – Monster Robots!

“Sure is realistic,” mumbled the official, squinting at me.
“Yes sir,” said Jed.
“First time boy?”
“Why?”

'Sir' checked my mouth again and frowned.
“Heard someone found an original. A live one.”
“Rumours.”
“Uh huh.”

“You can scan her.”
"And if I said yes?”

Jed sighed. He pulled out a roll and licked his thumb.
“Can't bluff me son. She reeks of brimstone.”
“Fifty. Okay?”
“Seventy.”

"Maisie?" Jed nodded.
The official's smile dropped as I coiled about his legs.
"Jed?” My voice rumbled. “Want me to eat him?”

“Okay. Fifty. And dragon? Just cool it out there. They're spectators, not idiots!”
 

mosaix

Shropshire, U.K.
Supporter
Joined
Feb 13, 2006
Messages
6,549
Location
Shropshire, U.K.
#5
Here's looking at you..

The Accuser scowled at the Deity.

So you thought it appropriate?”

Without waiting for a reply he turned to the Jury.

Well yes, it works for us so I thought, why not?”

The Accuser whirled back around.

Why not? Such a gift is reserved for level 4 and above! You not only gave it to the dominant lifeform, you gave it to other mammals, birds, even fish and insects”

The Tallies say guilty, we will sentence you shortly, more importantly we must immediately remove all vision from Planet Earth”
 

mosaix

Shropshire, U.K.
Supporter
Joined
Feb 13, 2006
Messages
6,549
Location
Shropshire, U.K.
#6
Die! Die you scum sucking flies!

As the advancing insectoids drew closer, I unleashed the power of my recently acquired Mark X Destructinator Plasma Cannon, fusing antennae to head, melting thorax onto legs.
Will these stupid alien invertebrates ever learn that their vast hordes are no match for mankind's superior weaponry?
Another swarm approached, begging to be slaughtered.
Laughing at the forthcoming carnage, I pulled the trigger.
Nothing happened. I shook the cannon. I slapped it. Nothing.
Glancing at the readout screen, I noticed a message had popped up.
"Your free 30 day trial has expired. Please enter an activation code to continue using this product."
 

mosaix

Shropshire, U.K.
Supporter
Joined
Feb 13, 2006
Messages
6,549
Location
Shropshire, U.K.
#7
Speed trial

A kick on the starter, a single cough, then the motor snarled into enthusiastic life. Huh. DeLorean. 88 miles per hour? For most of history roads that could carry a sports car that fast without ripping out its sump on the bumps. But a trail bike? Not quite a mountain goat, but anywhere mules or pedestrians can get we can do 150 kph.

Handlebars have extra displays, speed, date, charge. Gigawatts, but not gigawatt-hours, so farads of condensers feed the flux capacitor for picoseconds. In formation the four bikes accelerate headlong to leave only reverberation as they go elsewhen.
 

mosaix

Shropshire, U.K.
Supporter
Joined
Feb 13, 2006
Messages
6,549
Location
Shropshire, U.K.
#8
Size Does Matter

“You cheated!” The honourable Babajingan Ambassador was almost purple with rage.

“We didn’t and there's no point in complaining now. It was you who offered trial by combat to avoid unnecessary bloodshed and as per your strict code of honour, must now depart our world.”

“You used thousands of assailants. Millions even.”

“You chose your champion; the biggest, fastest and I must say, ugliest Babajing we ever saw. We chose ours.” The President shrugged.

“Our rules state only one champion may be chosen.”

“We introduced a single engineered viral cell into the arena. No rule that says they can’t reproduce.”
 

Similar threads

Top