Shorewalker
Well-Known Member
OK, so here's the section in question. Our POV is Jenn and I'm just not convinced that I've retained a close enough grip on her.
Anything else I've screwed up...have at it!
Behind Jenn, the door had swung open, allowing a squall of wind and rain to blast into the kitchen. Turning, she saw a woman of quite ethereal beauty framed in the doorway, golden waves of hair cascading to her waist, large ice-blue eyes sparkling in the lantern light. Slightly shorter than Jenn and a few years older, her features were sculpted to exquisite perfection; high cheek bones, a small slightly turned-up nose, and full, pouting lips.
“It’s rude to stare, my dear,” the woman declared as she glided into the kitchen. She looked back over her shoulder as two liveried guards pushed into the room behind her. “Oh, yes, I’d forgotten about you two. Remember what I told you and your fellows? Go north at least ten leagues, find yourselves an inn and spend the night drinking to excess. Tomorrow morning, you will remember none of this.”
The woman smiled her dismissal and the guards saluted, turned neatly about and departed.
Jenn was at a loss. She had no idea who this woman was, what she was doing here and why she was accompanied by a noble’s guardsmen. All she knew was that she’d been interrupted. Her nails dug into her palms.
“Good evening, Enchantal,” sighed Pollar Reith. “The men are wearing Lord Veggel’s colours. I assume you…borrowed…them for the evening?”
“Indeed, Pollar.” The woman shooed one of the mercenaries from his stool at the table, handed him her cloak, and settled herself down. “I also liberated one of his carriages and a fine team of sturdy horses. The weather is simply dreadful!”
She sniffed the air. “Is that mulled wine? I’m certain it’s little better than muck, but on a cold night like this?” She smiled around the table. “If one of you would be so kind as to pour me a cup?”
Half-a-dozen men rose immediately, stools clattering to the stone floor in their hurry. Jenn thought they could not have moved faster if a fire had been lit beneath them. Beside her, Pollar Reith buried his head in his hands.
“Enchantal, stop!”
The woman pouted. “You never were any fun, Pollar. Such a serious young boy.” She turned her attention to Jenn. “And this delightful creature must be Lady Jennifer Anncy. Whatever have you done with your hair, dear?”
“I cut it off. It was unnecessary and a distraction.” Jenn held the woman’s gaze. “Distractions do not serve us well right now.”
For a moment, Enchantal was stone-faced. Then her full lips curled up into a smile. “I like you already, girl. There’s a bit of gumption about you”
Rising from her stool, she caught at her flowing black dress and affected a perfect curtsey. “Enchantal Gliss at your service, my lady. Gossip-monger, glamour-caster, pillow companion and assassin. I suspect you’re going to need all four before this tale is played out.”
Jenn relaxed a touch, memories of a conversation returning.
So this is the infamous Enchantal Gliss, the woman gifted with the powers of persuasion? I suppose that explains the guards.
Enchantal re-seated herself as one of the men handed her a cup. She sipped at the mulled wine. “Better than I thought possible. Now then, where were we? Ah, yes, Gradevale.”
Jenn had completely forgotten what she had been talking about. Fortunately, Gabriel Leinster had not, the man unfazed by Enchantal’s dramatic entrance.
“You think that Jenn was right regarding where we might find our answers?”
The woman picked at some specks of dirt on her sleeve. “Once I got word that parties of Vaan were abroad, I started some digging, calling in favours from the well-heeled and blue-blooded. Most of them around these parts have dirty little secrets and,” she slid Jenn a sly wink, “I somehow seem to be involved in most of them. They tend to fall over themselves to help when I ask.”
Enchantal’s expression grew serious. “This is what I have discovered. Since early summer, coin has been flowing into Alfern, Venn and Baltyr, and those are the kingdoms that I’m aware of. Agents have been offering ridiculous sums of money to minor nobles who are down on their luck for the use of parcels of land. These have usually been woodland, abandoned villages or mountainous terrain. No questions are to be asked, no word is to be spread and the locals are to be kept away from those areas. The coin has been so good that nobody has refused, and everybody has complied with the caveats…until I did the questioning, obviously.”
Handsome Blue arrived at the table with a bowl of stew and a spoon. In return, Enchantal Gliss offered him a glorious smile and grasped his hand warmly. The giant man blushed as the woman took a few mouthfuls of the food. Jenn expected some scathing comment, or a curled lip indicating deep distaste, but Enchantal simply smiled at Blue again and nodded approval.
Wearing the widest grin, Blue retreated as Enchantal dabbed at her lips with a silk handkerchief. “Although it has gone through a dozen sets of hands before arriving here…and many of those hands belong to public figures of some repute…I’ve managed to trace that coin back to Gradevale. I suspect that I’m the only one who has, given how tortuous the flow of funds has been.”
“Staging areas, perhaps?” mused Gabriel Leinster. “Not large enough to conceal an army and concern the lord or baron. I assume those areas are otherwise of little use?”
“Correct,” confirmed Enchantal. “Additionally, there are rumours that black ships have been spotted off the coast of Nemland, although Nemland is rather notorious for myths and legends. Still, you could lose an army in Nemland, and nobody would be any the wiser.”
The Third Hammer nodded. “So they cross the Grey Seas from Gradevale, disembark in Nemland and then spread out in small companies across the kingdoms.”
It all sounded logical, but Jenn knew the story still had holes. “But why would Thurcar aid the Vaan in this fashion?” She didn’t disbelieve it – she had seen first-hand what the king was capable of – but could not fathom the motivation. “Why would anybody share a bed with creatures whose sole intent is to wipe out humanity?”
Enchantal shrugged. “That I cannot tell you, but this whole affair centres on Gradevale, of that there can be no doubt.”
Anything else I've screwed up...have at it!
Behind Jenn, the door had swung open, allowing a squall of wind and rain to blast into the kitchen. Turning, she saw a woman of quite ethereal beauty framed in the doorway, golden waves of hair cascading to her waist, large ice-blue eyes sparkling in the lantern light. Slightly shorter than Jenn and a few years older, her features were sculpted to exquisite perfection; high cheek bones, a small slightly turned-up nose, and full, pouting lips.
“It’s rude to stare, my dear,” the woman declared as she glided into the kitchen. She looked back over her shoulder as two liveried guards pushed into the room behind her. “Oh, yes, I’d forgotten about you two. Remember what I told you and your fellows? Go north at least ten leagues, find yourselves an inn and spend the night drinking to excess. Tomorrow morning, you will remember none of this.”
The woman smiled her dismissal and the guards saluted, turned neatly about and departed.
Jenn was at a loss. She had no idea who this woman was, what she was doing here and why she was accompanied by a noble’s guardsmen. All she knew was that she’d been interrupted. Her nails dug into her palms.
“Good evening, Enchantal,” sighed Pollar Reith. “The men are wearing Lord Veggel’s colours. I assume you…borrowed…them for the evening?”
“Indeed, Pollar.” The woman shooed one of the mercenaries from his stool at the table, handed him her cloak, and settled herself down. “I also liberated one of his carriages and a fine team of sturdy horses. The weather is simply dreadful!”
She sniffed the air. “Is that mulled wine? I’m certain it’s little better than muck, but on a cold night like this?” She smiled around the table. “If one of you would be so kind as to pour me a cup?”
Half-a-dozen men rose immediately, stools clattering to the stone floor in their hurry. Jenn thought they could not have moved faster if a fire had been lit beneath them. Beside her, Pollar Reith buried his head in his hands.
“Enchantal, stop!”
The woman pouted. “You never were any fun, Pollar. Such a serious young boy.” She turned her attention to Jenn. “And this delightful creature must be Lady Jennifer Anncy. Whatever have you done with your hair, dear?”
“I cut it off. It was unnecessary and a distraction.” Jenn held the woman’s gaze. “Distractions do not serve us well right now.”
For a moment, Enchantal was stone-faced. Then her full lips curled up into a smile. “I like you already, girl. There’s a bit of gumption about you”
Rising from her stool, she caught at her flowing black dress and affected a perfect curtsey. “Enchantal Gliss at your service, my lady. Gossip-monger, glamour-caster, pillow companion and assassin. I suspect you’re going to need all four before this tale is played out.”
Jenn relaxed a touch, memories of a conversation returning.
So this is the infamous Enchantal Gliss, the woman gifted with the powers of persuasion? I suppose that explains the guards.
Enchantal re-seated herself as one of the men handed her a cup. She sipped at the mulled wine. “Better than I thought possible. Now then, where were we? Ah, yes, Gradevale.”
Jenn had completely forgotten what she had been talking about. Fortunately, Gabriel Leinster had not, the man unfazed by Enchantal’s dramatic entrance.
“You think that Jenn was right regarding where we might find our answers?”
The woman picked at some specks of dirt on her sleeve. “Once I got word that parties of Vaan were abroad, I started some digging, calling in favours from the well-heeled and blue-blooded. Most of them around these parts have dirty little secrets and,” she slid Jenn a sly wink, “I somehow seem to be involved in most of them. They tend to fall over themselves to help when I ask.”
Enchantal’s expression grew serious. “This is what I have discovered. Since early summer, coin has been flowing into Alfern, Venn and Baltyr, and those are the kingdoms that I’m aware of. Agents have been offering ridiculous sums of money to minor nobles who are down on their luck for the use of parcels of land. These have usually been woodland, abandoned villages or mountainous terrain. No questions are to be asked, no word is to be spread and the locals are to be kept away from those areas. The coin has been so good that nobody has refused, and everybody has complied with the caveats…until I did the questioning, obviously.”
Handsome Blue arrived at the table with a bowl of stew and a spoon. In return, Enchantal Gliss offered him a glorious smile and grasped his hand warmly. The giant man blushed as the woman took a few mouthfuls of the food. Jenn expected some scathing comment, or a curled lip indicating deep distaste, but Enchantal simply smiled at Blue again and nodded approval.
Wearing the widest grin, Blue retreated as Enchantal dabbed at her lips with a silk handkerchief. “Although it has gone through a dozen sets of hands before arriving here…and many of those hands belong to public figures of some repute…I’ve managed to trace that coin back to Gradevale. I suspect that I’m the only one who has, given how tortuous the flow of funds has been.”
“Staging areas, perhaps?” mused Gabriel Leinster. “Not large enough to conceal an army and concern the lord or baron. I assume those areas are otherwise of little use?”
“Correct,” confirmed Enchantal. “Additionally, there are rumours that black ships have been spotted off the coast of Nemland, although Nemland is rather notorious for myths and legends. Still, you could lose an army in Nemland, and nobody would be any the wiser.”
The Third Hammer nodded. “So they cross the Grey Seas from Gradevale, disembark in Nemland and then spread out in small companies across the kingdoms.”
It all sounded logical, but Jenn knew the story still had holes. “But why would Thurcar aid the Vaan in this fashion?” She didn’t disbelieve it – she had seen first-hand what the king was capable of – but could not fathom the motivation. “Why would anybody share a bed with creatures whose sole intent is to wipe out humanity?”
Enchantal shrugged. “That I cannot tell you, but this whole affair centres on Gradevale, of that there can be no doubt.”
