DISCUSSION THREAD -- December 2016 75-word Writing Challenge

[Cathbad]

Congrats Judge!

 

[Culhwch]

Dammit, I knew I was forgetting something. Grrr.

Congrats, TJ!!

 

[juelz4sure]

Congratulations TJ very well put together story. I completely forgot to vote thus month my apologies.

 

[Perpetual Man]

Congratulations TJ!!!

I voted for The Two Menacing Gargoyles by juelz4sure. I was not able to have as thorough a read through as I would have liked, but this story made me laugh out loud, so it got the nod.

No mentions at all for me this month (unless I missed any), which is not surprising as I was determined to enter, but found time slipping away far to quickly - it must be Christmas or something! In the end I recalled someone said that a good example of Gaslight Fantasy was Dracula so I just went with that, an opaque reference to the Count arriving on our shores in wintertime, a deserted ship and something stirring.

The title nicked a name from an old friend of mine's stories Sanguisuga - literally blood sucker. Other than that I was pleased I got something together to enter which was a victory in itself.

Oh, and I threw in an acrostic for the hell of it

 

[Cat's Cradle]

Congrats, TJ, on a fine victory! Looking forward to the choices for next month.

And thank you, Venusian Broon and Glen, for the listings.

 

[HareBrain]

Congratulations, TJ!

 

[mosaix]

Congratulations, TJ!

 

[Dan Jones]

Congrats to TJ!

I voted for Venusian Broon, for the evocation of the melancholy spirit of the season.

Thanks for all the mentions, of which there were many, and clove-scented, sickle-scraping, hearth-filled thanks to Coast and Ashleyne for the votes! They warmed the cockles of my heart on a very wintery morning.

 

[The Judge]

Oh goodness, thank you everyone. I really didn't expect this. I was surprised when I saw the voting last night, but thought Victoria was bound to overtake me. Congrats to her for a good fight and excellent story.

What makes it more surprising is that I posted in a rush as I was wanted elsewhere, then when I came back and looked at the story with fresh eyes about 90 minutes later I realised I'd messed up the ending with the wrong punchline, and I promptly bashed my head on the laptop, thinking I'd ruined any chance of a vote. So I'm grateful to those who liked it enough nonetheless -- and I see I had a late stealth vote from farntfar so some freezing cold scatological thanks there, too!

I shall go and ponder themes and genres now.

 

[Bowler1]

Well done Judge, Ma'am, Yer Honour and other titles of majestic might that reflect your stature. Pick a nice theme now, with... ahem, RAY GUNS in maybe???

 

[Shyrka]

Wow, I woke up this morning and discovered I'd gone from no votes to three! What a nice surprise - thanks Ursa, Jo and VB, you made my morning!

Congratulations must go to The Judge, however, for a worthy win, though what it says about folks around here's sense of humour, I'm not certain! Where there's muck there's brass (or gold, in this case), as they say where I'm from.

My own effort was born out of a number of failed or overly-bleak attempts. Originally it featured Jack the Ripper and suffered from a critical lack of winter theme but I realised re-working it to feature Jack Frost instead could still work. When I hit upon the title, I knew I would have to go with it!

 

[juelz4sure]

Wow 2 votes, I'm really surprised with all the great stories. Thanks for the vote Perpetual Man and the shortlists I was on. I'm truly shocked thanks lol!

 

[Abernovo]

Congratulations, Your Honour!
A well-deserved win.

Must admit, was shocked a refined person of your social standing would stoop to the level of us common gutter rats (I speak purely of myself, not any other member), with such mentions of bodily functions. Almost needed smelling salts!

 

[The Judge]

Thank you, all!

Congratulations must go to The Judge, however, for a worthy win, though what it says about folks around here's sense of humour, I'm not certain!

Ah, you weren't here when HareBrain seemed to win every Challenge by the simple expedient of referring to underwear in the punchline -- we had a veritable run on pants at one point.

 

[Coast]

Round of applause and pats on the back for TJ.

Thanks to Vaz, Cory, Phyre for the mentions, and of course the standing thank you to Victoria for reviewing!

 

[chrispenycate]

Congarats, yer Honour. You know from my vote I consider them well earned.

Oh, look - two whole votes and lots of mentions, and I didn't even get the rhythm as smooth as I would have liked. I certainly didn't have enough words to put the reader in the heart of the luminous sphere that is an always low directivity gas mantle in fog, and I doubt whether many spotted that a comet's tail is also a gaslight, even if a discharge rather than chemical reaction. Still, somebody liked it, which is good; I should really break the chain of versifications.

 

[Peter V]

I went for @Peter V - nice snippet of a terminal but heart warming conversation.

Thank you

I went for The Judge. I liked the humor and am a bit of a Holmes fan to boot (in most of his TV guises).

 

[TheDustyZebra]

I realised I'd messed up the ending with the wrong punchline

I thought you started with the punchline. So ... err ... what, dare I ask, was the right punchline?

 

[The Judge]

Yep, I started with the "No sh*t, Sherlock!" line, so I worked the story up to that, but when I'd written the whole thing and was trying to get the word count down, the "Alimentary" pun came to me so I shoved that in, removed some more words, and posted. But when I came back I realised I'd been so focused on the NSS, I'd overlooked the strength of the "Alimentary" sentence which was sapped where it was and actually took away some of the punchiness from the NSS line itself. So the better ending would have been with them the other way round, and the "Alimentary, my dear Watson" coming as the punchline, not the feed.

 

[HareBrain]

So the better ending would have been with them the other way round, and the "Alimentary, my dear Watson" coming as the punchline, not the feed.

Wrong.

ETA: and I'll explain why, now I've thought about it. The NSS line is deflationary, if that's the right word, after the longer, formal line from Holmes. And that's where the comedy lies. If you'd had them the other way round, it would have worked to some degree, but the deflation thingy would have been sandwiched between two more formal lines, and part of its effect would have been lost, I think.