Three-Legged Improv

[pambaddeley]

I'll risk it

The three pairs of pearlescent blue eyes regarded Tracey as she walked into the pet shop.

"What darling cuties," she exclaimed, bending to caress one of the little bundles of grey fluff.

Simultaneously, all three kittens yawned open their cavernous maws and revealed their twin rows of stiletto-thin flesh-stripping canines.

Argument, Family, Kitchen-sink drama

 

[nixie]

"Shut up, both of you,I don't care who took the last biscuit. I'm sick to death of the constant bickering. Just wait till your mother gets in".

Shadow,chimney sweep,soap opera.

 

[Ihe]

"Rick, you can't abandon us--me, your children, your dog, your life--you will never find happiness in the arms of Lola!"
"Cut the crap, Mary Sue, and confess all you care about is the inheritance left by my long-lost step brother we all thought dead in that fateful car crash in that cold December morning..."
Little did Rick know Mary Sue was having an affair with the chimney sweep--who was Rick's step brother's evil twin--and had everything planned out as a shadow crept out from inside the chimney, gun in hand.
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Elemental, cultist, Mythopoeia

 

[Droflet]

Brilliant, Ihe.

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

The salamander, nothing like the amphibian so oddly named for the ethereal fire spirit, shimmered and wriggled in the flames roaring from the ancient stone altar. Jonas cowered before its terrifying beauty, worshiping it with a devotion that was at least half fear. He knew that it could make him the most powerful man in the world, or the most agonized.

____________________________________________________________________

Window, fashion designer, fantasy

 

[Ihe]

Brilliant, Ihe.

Oh you know, I try. *cocky dance*

 

[nixie]

I've designed for all the top models, my work has been paraded all over the world and what does this lot have me do, design a bloody window that's what. Grumbling as he steps into the window noticing something wasn't quite right, his eyes widening as tiny people fly around him. I must be overworking, he thinks before passing out on the lush green grass.

Magistrate, bread, drama

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

Justice of the Peace Barnaby stared at the offender over the top of his spectacles and forced back a sigh. In all his years of hearing minor cases, he had never run into a case that so nearly a joke, yet so heartbreaking. He had no choice but to sentence the poor wretch before him for stealing a loaf of day-old bread.

___________________________________________________________________

Water, architect, romantic comedy

 

[sinister42]

The damp architect held out the wilted bouquet, and she took it, smiling at his sheepishness as the rain pelted them both. How he wished he'd remembered that this floor of the building hadn't been completed yet. Still, the view was unmatched, both of the city below them and of the beautiful but sodden Wendy who was currently trying to hold his hand.

Pants, astronaut, Lovecraftian horror.

 

[Ihe]

Guy, lone survivor of the Kushina-6 crew, floated in the cold of deep space, with his burning ship floating beside him in little pieces, and slow incandescences flashing far away and all around--planets colliding with God. The X5-J star cluster had unravelled into a being that filled the void and seemed to have a taste for planetary cores, flinging red dwarves at succulent targets; using its nebular tentacles to retrieve the white-hot candy inside. From where Guy was, it looked like a squid wearing pants, which he would've found funny if these hadn't been his species' last moments.
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shotgun, mortuary cosmetologist, steampunk

 

[sinister42]

Guy, lone survivor of the Kushina-6 crew, floated in the cold of deep space, with his burning ship floating beside him in little pieces, and slow incandescences flashing far away and all around--planets colliding with God. The X5-J star cluster had unravelled into a being that filled the void and seemed to have a taste for planetary cores, flinging red dwarves at succulent targets; using its nebular tentacles to retrieve the white-hot candy inside. From where Guy was, it looked like a squid wearing pants, which he would've found funny if these hadn't been his species' last moments.
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shotgun, mortuary cosmetologist, steampunk

*APPLAUSE*

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

The damage done to the body of the representative from Cotswald by the crude American firearm which had ended his life posed a challenge to Lucinda's professional skills. She had managed to make other victims of anarchist violence appear presentable, thanks to the mouse-sized machines which scurried over their remains and reshaped them into more acceptable forms, but that would not be sufficient in this case. So much flesh had been destroyed by the assassin, who had fired at point blank range, only to be cut down by the security automatons of the House of Commons, that it would be necessary to make use of the protoplasm restorer, a device difficult to control under the best of circumstances.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

Ice, surgeon, science fiction

 

[Alex The G and T]

"We cannot be allowed to leave any trace of our existence in this ancient time zone, Doctor. How can we operate upon this patient without distorting the future path of our own history?"

"This is an elementary quandary, my dear Watson. We shall use a scalpel made of ice. When the scalpel melts; there will be no remaining clue about the method of his incision."


******

Barrel, Carney, Steampunk

 

[sinister42]

I lowered my goggles and slid the lever forward. The airship shuddered and creaked around me.
"Stay together, baby."
I looked through the periscope. The constabulary's ship was closing fast. We were down an impeller and had a slow leak, so this get away was getting away from us.
I glanced behind me at the twelve barrels of gin we'd lifted from that traveling steam carnival. It wasn't ours yet, but it wasn't theirs anymore. The trouble was, the automatons had gotten off a few shots at the ship as we'd taken off, and one of them had hit the bag. Now the constabulary was about to get us, and it would be off to the Tower for my whole crew.
"Hey," said a voice behind me. I reached for my auto rapier, turned, and pointed it at the sound of the voice.
A tiny person was crawling out of one of the barrels, holding a pistol.
"Hands up. You're busted, pirate," said the carney stowaway.
"Strewth," I said, and put my hands up.


(Not my best work, but it'll do.)

(Steampunk fans should check out Abney Park, a really fun steampunk band. They're airship pirates!)

Spleen, accountant, Pythonesque humor.

 

[Droflet]

Nice story Sinister. However, hmm, this thread is restricted to three sentences so ...

 

[Ihe]

Haha Sinister gets -7 points. Shame on youuuuu.

 

[sinister42]

Whoops.

 

[Ihe]

"Excuse me, sir, how much for that pomegranate, if you don't mind me asking?"
"Oh, well, this here pomegranate is the best you ever did taste, and can be yours for the lowly price of an eye and half a kidney."
"I'll tell you what, I'll throw in a spleen on top of that if I can also have a plastic bag--I'm good with numbers like that, I'm an accountant."

(I really felt I needed an extra sentence to make it truly pythonesque. It came out bland.)
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guitar, alien, dickensian story.

 

[sinister42]

You can't write a Dickensian story in three sentences!

 

[Ihe]

Deal with it . That's why it's considered a challenge. Mwaahahaha!