Three-Legged Improv

Lawrence Twiddy

Self-loathing Cowboy
Supporter
Joined
Feb 7, 2021
Messages
25
Tuchel the overly ambitious porter reached into the barouche to retrieve a hamper along with a chilled box of food he knew to be cursed.
"Once the clambake is set Tuchel would you grease the carriage again," prudishly exclaimed Laurence the old carriage driver and now love interest to Princess Aveline - she went through men like summer garden parties.
"It would be my pleasure sir!" Tuchel grinned at the peasant turned prince, meanwhile his mind relayed the three words that would save the Princess after the consumption of the cursed clams.

Tankard, Alley Dweller, Bitter Winter.
 

Edoc'sil

One day I'll find the words.
Joined
Jan 3, 2021
Messages
137
Location
UK / Spain
I jangled my tankard at the feet passing by; after all day there was only the coppers that I threw in there this morning. They didn't care, no one cared. Another day of slow starvation, perhaps today would be the day I died, curled up and dusted with snow. While I lay there shivering, I felt something soft drape over me and a gentle arm wrap around my huddled form.

Violin, Farmer, Dystopian
 

therapist

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 2, 2021
Messages
57
'1 full crate of mangetout, 5 fingers of endive root, and 16 cases of spring onion on top'
Giuseppe translated the order in his head, full size maple wood body, spruce top, ebony finger board. He made his way to his greenhouse, heart pumping faster than a waltz—only a fool wouldn't fear defying The Order. Pulling the raised herb garden to the side, he stepped down the hidden staircase to his workshop.

Time Machine, Athlete, Romance
 

Provincial

Coyote meets roadrunner
Joined
Jun 18, 2020
Messages
229
Location
Essex, UK
The settings on the weird-looking treadmill were: crawl, stagger, slow walk, jog, trot, run, mad dash, time machine. Craig rotated his shoulder blades, rippled his chest muscles and dropped into a sprinter’s crouch. Then he started to run, picking up speed slowly but surely, with a desperate promise on his lips - “Clarice my darling, hold on - I’m coming for you, whenever you are!”


Drinking water fountain, major league baseball player, the end of the world.
 

Edoc'sil

One day I'll find the words.
Joined
Jan 3, 2021
Messages
137
Location
UK / Spain
I pushed the switch, on the off chance there was a little pressure left in the system. A trickle left the spout, then a groan from the pipes as black sludge sputtered forth, it was worth a try. I hefted my trusty oak bat, 3 time world series winner; the barbed wire caught the pad on my shoulder, I twisted it free, and walked out onto the plate,

"Right you motherfreaking zombies. You're on my turf now... Batter up!"

Stuffed animal, Dog, A "missed connection" (romance)
 

Provincial

Coyote meets roadrunner
Joined
Jun 18, 2020
Messages
229
Location
Essex, UK
It had taken an enormous amount of straw and kapok to fill out the skin of the adult mammoth, and the cost of the internal framework needed to allow it to stand like a living elephant was frightening to contemplate, but at last the exhibit was ready to go on display and Elspeth decided to bring in her beloved Weimaraner to show her why she had been so cruelly neglected all these months.

Cruncher padded around it, sniffing at every part of the stuffed animal she could reach. Elspeth approved, and stood hugging herself with intense anticipation. To her mind Cruncher was giving the mammoth a thorough evaluation, as she had every previous piece of work Elspeth had completed, and she would then signify her approval by sitting in front of Elspeth and wagging her tail enthusiastically. This is what she was waiting for.

Instead Cruncher started whining and then pointed with her whole body at the exit. Elspeth couldn’t make head nor tail of it; what could she possibly want? She tried to attract Cruncher’s attention with some doggy chocs, but the dog wasn’t having any of it - instead she made little dashes towards the door, trying to draw poor Elspeth towards it. Finally, in apparent desperation, Cruncher locked her teeth onto the hem of Elspeth’s apron and tried to drag her to the door, but to no avail.

So Cruncher gave up, sat down in front of Elspeth and wagged her tail. Elspeth was pleased, if also somewhat confused, but Cruncher was furious. Stupid woman, she thought, the one person who could have been love of your life just walked past the door and you never even met them. Why will you never listen?


A magic quill pen, the Bard of Avon, World War II.
 

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