Three-Legged Improv

Edoc'sil

One day I'll find the words.
Joined
Jan 3, 2021
Messages
137
Location
UK / Spain
"Oh Foxkin! You've made me the happiest wolf in the world!" Gushed Sandy, fluttering her long lashes.
"I can only agree, this is the best day of my life." Answered Foxkin, tears in his eyes.
A party goer ran up to the happy couple "We've run out of rabbit hors d'oeuvres!" they both responded voices laden with doom, "What a nightmare!"

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Shoe, Exterminator, Space western
 

The Scribbling Man

Tenant of the Tower of Flints
Joined
Dec 26, 2020
Messages
191
Location
Coventry, UK
The hard-boiled, blaster wielding, son-of-a-Wayne Shane sat atop his Jovian steed and considered the evidence.
"Didn't I say?" said Sheriff Bozai, spitting into low gravity, "Damned if it don't be the Exterminator ageen!"
Shane unmounted, picked up the lone shoe sat aside the huge pile of ash and said: "Actually, Sheriff, I think we got ourselves a copycat."

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Horror, fairies, spaceship
 

Edoc'sil

One day I'll find the words.
Joined
Jan 3, 2021
Messages
137
Location
UK / Spain
The two cadets sat hunched against the blast doors, hearing the small winged bodies hurling themselves at the metal again and again.
Practically screaming, Tasha shouted "Seal the vents Sally! They already figured out they can send their dust through them!"

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Top hat, Hunter, Restaurant
 

The Scribbling Man

Tenant of the Tower of Flints
Joined
Dec 26, 2020
Messages
191
Location
Coventry, UK
Apologies... I totally forgot these were meant to be "item, occupation, setting", so I've been doing it slightly wrong. Whoops.

Anywho, story:
------------------

When dining in a high-class restaurant, the last thing you expect to see is a sentient top hat wielding a—
"Good Lord! Is that a top hat?!"
Famous last words.

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Mammoth, Lawyer, The World Wide Web
 

Edoc'sil

One day I'll find the words.
Joined
Jan 3, 2021
Messages
137
Location
UK / Spain
His glasses had slipped almost half way down his trunk. Pushing them up with his snout and squinting slightly, the mammoth began smashing at the oversized keys with his hooves. Muttering to thin air he said "I'm sure that guy on the message board last night had it all wrong..."

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Dog, Transporter operator, Drama
 

nixie

pixie druid
Staff member
Supporter
Joined
May 4, 2005
Messages
6,372
Location
I may live in Yorkshire but I'm a Scot
The scraggy brown mongrel waited until the bus was pulling away before jumping on.
"Someone catch that mutt" screamed the driver as the dog darted between legs evading capture.
"Third time this week that thing has taking a joy ride, will be costing me my job" he sobbed.

Traffic jam, pedestrian, horror.
 

Provincial

Coyote meets roadrunner
Joined
Jun 18, 2020
Messages
229
Location
Essex, UK
Traffic jam, pedestrian, horror.

The anarchist mime was at the centre of the main crossroad, dressed as a police officer and silently directing the traffic into an irretrievable snarl. Max Longbottom, professional pedestrian, did his best not to help. Mobile held directly in front of his eyes, headphones vibrating at 180 decibels of tuneless drum’n’bass, and ankles tied together, he pogo’d out into the road and started to wriggle his way through the maze of cars and lorries which were now parked bumper to bumper. Drivers started to vacate their vehicles to try and identify the cause of the traffic jam. They were none of them in a good mood, so when Max accidentally head-butted one of them he wasn’t surprised to receive a volley of curses. It was only when the phone was snatched from his hands and a beefy, red-faced, balding man started screaming in his face that he realised his error. It was The Hatchet.

The man ripped off Max’s headphones, grabbed him by the earlobes and pulled upwards until Max was teetering on his tippy-toes to avoid having his ears ripped off. “Longbottom!” he snarled. ”Why aren’t you in school?”




(Please see the next section for the next three cues...)
 
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Provincial

Coyote meets roadrunner
Joined
Jun 18, 2020
Messages
229
Location
Essex, UK
Private Eye, Alcoholic Wizard, Crossdresser

Maximillian Duchene was looking for his private eye. It was his masterpiece, a magical gobstopper which allowed him to see the private thoughts of anyone who was also sucking a gobstopper. It had taken him seven whole years to complete. Seven years of heavy daytime drinking, seven years of heady night-time performances as Dolores, Queen of Burlesque, every Saturday without a break at the local music hall. He was exhausted, and for the first time in all those years he actually needed a drink. But now he had to present his creation to to the head of his secret Craft House, to show that he was no longer a Journeyman Magician, that he was worthy to become a Master Magician. And, somehow, he’d lost it.


Nintendo Switch, Prime Minister, fantasy.
 
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Wayne Mack

Well-Known Member
Joined
Sep 12, 2020
Messages
374
Location
Chantilly, Virginia, US
Nintendo Switch, Prime Minister, fantasy.

The Prime Minister modeled all of his fiscal decisions using his Nintendo Switch.
His aide entered and said, "Sorry sir, snap election, you're out. The peasants have run out of grain again."

Blaster, Pirate, Space Opera
 
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Edoc'sil

One day I'll find the words.
Joined
Jan 3, 2021
Messages
137
Location
UK / Spain
Robert blew the smoke from the end of his blaster, spun it around his finger and slipped it into his hip holster.
Turning to look at the stunned faces around him he shrugged and said, "What? He shot first."

Toaster, Evil Overlord, Fantasy
 

The Scribbling Man

Tenant of the Tower of Flints
Joined
Dec 26, 2020
Messages
191
Location
Coventry, UK
Evil overlord Zarafrakaranumorough stared longingly into the distance; out, beyond the mountains and into the stormy, spiraling horizon. Chaos bloomed as he lifted his clawed hands, summoning minions from the depths. The fact that Deianira had left him was one thing, but she was a fool to think she could keep his toaster.

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Banjo, social worker, horror
 

Edoc'sil

One day I'll find the words.
Joined
Jan 3, 2021
Messages
137
Location
UK / Spain
Bobo sighed as he painted his face. The paint was unnecessary, his face underneath was already etched into an exaggerated frown.

He gave another futile tug at his chain before walking onto the stage and "slipping" on a yellow peel to raucous laughter from a shadowy audience.


Unknown object, garbage man, space opera
 

Wayne Mack

Well-Known Member
Joined
Sep 12, 2020
Messages
374
Location
Chantilly, Virginia, US
Unknown object, garbage man, space opera

"The transporter is down captain - you'll have to do it yourself," said Scotty. With a clock running in his head, he ran down the corridor with a bag of coffee grounds, rotting vegetables, and who knows what only to see that the garbage scow had already left. Kneeling with his hands in the air, Captain Kirk theatrically yelled, "Noooooo! Not Agaaaaiiiiin!"

Sword, mage, fantasy
 

Edoc'sil

One day I'll find the words.
Joined
Jan 3, 2021
Messages
137
Location
UK / Spain
"You're quite sure you want to do this?"
"Don't try and talk me out of it, you've done enough harm."
"But it's not my fault! I am merely an instrument of other people's desires!"
"Don't give me that codswallop. You were more than instrumental, worming your way into the ear of the prince."

Merlin unceremoniously lobbed the protesting sword, into the billowing clouds of smoke that heaved from the volcano.

"NOOOOOOOOoooooooo..."
(sorry, more than three sentences.)

Crane, Chef, Fantasy
 

Wayne Mack

Well-Known Member
Joined
Sep 12, 2020
Messages
374
Location
Chantilly, Virginia, US
Crane, Chef, Fantasy

The townspeople fell to a hushed silence as the baker carried a cake to the wooden crane, where he was lifted up past the cold, gray stone of the corner turret. He climbed through the window and saw that his daughter would continue to sleep through yet another birthday. Hurling the cake across the room, he cried, “Curse you, evil warlock and this spell you have placed upon my family.”

Dagger, Court Jester, Fantasy
 

Edoc'sil

One day I'll find the words.
Joined
Jan 3, 2021
Messages
137
Location
UK / Spain
The dagger glinted as it turned, end over end, and sunk into the chest of the king.
"Oops," muttered Frankle and he bounded his way over to the double doors, the bells on his outfit jingling.
Everyone was silently confused, they believed it was part of the act; let me get away before they notice, prayed Frankle.

Picnic hamper, Carriage driver, Magical realism
 

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