Three-Legged Improv

Droflet

I don't teach chickens how to dance.
Joined
Apr 15, 2010
Messages
2,780
Location
Australia
Nope. Three sentences only, Hope. But on a positive note it's a great little story.

There was a young chemist from Gault who found himself locked in a vault.
He had plenty of pharmaceuticals that tightened his cuticles.
That made him see ghost and evil devilish hosts.

Pigs in space, evil onboard, sff comedy.
 

hopewrites

Character Nerd
Joined
Oct 6, 2011
Messages
3,438
Location
Earth
(Post two said "oh sorry, I meant three paragraphs." But I'll see if I can roll in three sentences.)

"Dr. Swinepork, what is it?"

"Evil! Don't touch it!"

"Touch it," Captain reaches out without really questioning what he hears.


Frying pan, snow fort, ad-copy.
 

Victoria Silverwolf

Vegetarian Werewolf
Joined
Dec 9, 2012
Messages
5,104
Location
Chattanooga, Tennessee, USA
Once, within a bank vault hidden, I did a thing which I was bidden,
By the manager whose errands I had done some times before.
There, safety deposit box, kept secure by many locks,
Held the treasure that I was commanded to go down there for.
Tablets white, within pill holder, so my trembling heart grew bolder,
And I brought the aspirin to my supervisor's office door.

_______________________________________________________

[Simultaneous post, so go with the previous prompt]
 
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sinister42

The sinister resister.
Supporter
Joined
Aug 8, 2013
Messages
572
Location
Portland, Oregon
"Tired of eating cold polar bear? Try Dr. Spackle's New Electro-Nuclear Fusion Frying Pan! Guaranteed to cook your bear to medium rare without burning a hole in your nice clean snow fort."

A lemming, Paris, paranormal romance.
 

Victoria Silverwolf

Vegetarian Werewolf
Joined
Dec 9, 2012
Messages
5,104
Location
Chattanooga, Tennessee, USA
I was dining at the top of the Eiffel Tower with Toby, my familiar, who had whimsically selected the form of a lemming. The beautiful man who shared our table was charming and witty, which made our situation all the more difficult. Only one of us could be the Witch Monarch of Europe, and we were dangerously close to falling in love.

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Typewriter, stage magician, YA
 

Ihe

Forum Revolutionary
Joined
Apr 4, 2015
Messages
1,046
Paul Jr. showed Pauline the trick his bastard of a father had taught him--the only thing the old magician had done for Paul's burgeoning career in magic and playful deceit. The Illusion-Eaters after Paul Sr. now expected the son to pay the father's debts, but the precocious teenager would not let them take this trick, not before saying his proper goodbyes. He started typing in mid-air and nothing happened except an exaggerated "Voila!" and a flourish at the end--until Pauling got home, that is--because there, in her old typewriter, a piece of paper stood rigid with the words "I love you" and "I'm sorry".
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Boiling water, a sentient lobster, Steampunk
 

hopewrites

Character Nerd
Joined
Oct 6, 2011
Messages
3,438
Location
Earth
"Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hooooooooooooooooooooot!" Bob screamed from inside the submarine's fusion-boiler. His day was not starting out well; first that near escape from the trap, (not that his gossiping friends bothered to stop or help him out) then he got sucked in here, bypassing the intake filter (which had a hole in it).... It all went to prove his theory that humans were trying to crash the world into oblivion.

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Supervillian, bubble bath, horror.
 

VKALFIERI

From a land down under.
Joined
Feb 2, 2016
Messages
129
Location
Australia
Mr. Dastardly sunk deep down into the suds and savoured the feel of the soothing jets on his sore muscles, supervillianing was not an easy job, but someone had to give the good guys something to do. Slowly, surely, he drifted off into a deep slumber. When he woke the water had turned a deep shade of red, a ghastly figure stood nearby holding his severed head in its long skeletal hands and laughing maniacally.

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Half-elf wizard, Orb of Doom, Space.
 
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Coast

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jun 2, 2016
Messages
239
Born the unlikely offspring of a troll mother and elvish father, the evil wizard Kavagh struggled his entire life to complete the mission his father had started. When he pried the Orb of Doom from the dead hands of the human king and set about using it to fuel the space chariot, he thought he had finally succeeded. No-one survived to give a first hand account of the launch of the machine, but a nearby villager working his field reported a trollish shape launched high into the stratosphere.

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Stolen Spaceship, Office Manager, Space Opera.
 

hopewrites

Character Nerd
Joined
Oct 6, 2011
Messages
3,438
Location
Earth
"You're the reqisitions officer, and you're telling me," Fred put his hands up for air quotes, "'no one' requisitioned the B52falconcougerthunderbird that isn't docked at any of our docks..." Fred's hands came down hard on the desk before shuffling through the respondents paperwork confirming the spacecraft was not at their planetary base, "not on Quizar, not on Falcor, not on Umbrial, not on Dracor, and decidedly not here on Earth!"

George, having nodded dumbly where appropriate through his supervisor's haranguing, lifted his hands helplessly and hoped to all the gods out there that his next sentence wouldn't get him fired, Earth was too expensive a planet to stay on without a good job, "the only place we haven't checked, sir, is your estate."

Fred's face barely concealed his rage at the vailed accusation, "we'll report it stolen then, you're dismissed."


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Anthropomorphic breakfast, murder mystery, toast.
 

Victoria Silverwolf

Vegetarian Werewolf
Joined
Dec 9, 2012
Messages
5,104
Location
Chattanooga, Tennessee, USA
Inspector "Fatty" Bacon directed the steely glare of his unkosher eyes at the suspects gathered on the table. "The untimely demise of Mister Toast was a wickedly clever crime, but the murder weapon -- a blunt knife -- and the motive -- jealousy of his relationship with Miss Strawberry Jam -- make the culprit obvious. The butter did it!"

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Slide rule, minister, psychological drama
 

Ihe

Forum Revolutionary
Joined
Apr 4, 2015
Messages
1,046
The Prime Minister sat in front of a bare white table, on a white chair, surrounded by white walls and researchers clad in white lab coats. The lead researcher placed a slide rule in front of him and said, in a voice loud enough that the camera could pick it up for the viewers at home, "this slide rule has some incredible properties that would aid the country's economy quite nicely, as the maths done with it--no matter how flawed--will make the results come true. The caveat here is that for every pound created by way of flawed maths, 10 pounds's worth of currency will be deducted from a random country, so the question is: how far would you go to save your country's economy at the expense of possible international retaliation?"
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rain, angels, military fiction
 

sinister42

The sinister resister.
Supporter
Joined
Aug 8, 2013
Messages
572
Location
Portland, Oregon
It was this war that finally killed baseball. The threat this time wasn't fascism or communism or terrorism - we could play through all of those. No, the thing that left the Anaheim stadium, and all the rest of them, empty, came from the planet itself - when the rain turned against us, we all had to take cover.


Noodles, a guy named Steve, paranormal steampunk.
 

Coast

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jun 2, 2016
Messages
239
"The portal threshold is housed in the lower copper vessel and transfers the heat from the other side into the boiler above," Steve tells me excitedly.
"And the 'other side' you keep talking about, you're telling me that's Hell?" I look into a steaming pot that sits propped above the boiler vent; it's full of noodles.

*****

Magic Wand, Master of Hounds, High Fantasy.
 

nixie

pixie druid
Staff member
Supporter
Joined
May 4, 2005
Messages
4,553
Location
I may live in Yorkshire but I'm a Scot
The high wizard wandered into the stables, trying to avoid flying puppies.

"Has any one seen my wand ?".

"No high wizard" said the master of hound as he hastily pushes the broken pieces under the straw.

Wool, minstrel, murder mystery.
 

Victoria Silverwolf

Vegetarian Werewolf
Joined
Dec 9, 2012
Messages
5,104
Location
Chattanooga, Tennessee, USA
The wandering musician Alberto came to Serenissima with a lute and a heart full of song. He never expected to find the strangled body of Cardinal Malizzo hidden under a mountain of sheepskins in the fabric merchants' guildhouse. A stranger, he was seen as the most likely suspect; he had only a day to discover the identity of the real killer before he faced the gallows, and he had to do it without leaving his prison cell.

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Computer, construction worker, suspense
 

Tricanthos

Banana Breakfast
Joined
Aug 8, 2015
Messages
33
Location
La Grande OR
Cornelius woke in the middle of the construction site, and looked at his smartwatch.
<<<EVACUATE NOW>>> ASSEMBLERS COMING ONLINE IN T-MINUS 4 SECONDS.
He quickly got to his feet and began to run.

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Psychedelic mushroom, trash collector, romance
 

Victoria Silverwolf

Vegetarian Werewolf
Joined
Dec 9, 2012
Messages
5,104
Location
Chattanooga, Tennessee, USA
Sonny Costello jabbed his spear into another discarded candy wrapper and shoved it into his burlap bag, for what felt like the ten thousandth time today. In celebration, he reached into the back pocket of his jeans and took a nibble of dried psilocybin. The dreary, garbage-strewn field blossomed into Eden; that was when he saw Eve in all her glory, and changed his life forever.

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Table, physician, historical fiction
 

Ihe

Forum Revolutionary
Joined
Apr 4, 2015
Messages
1,046
Sheamus caressed the worn mahogany. This was the table where the deranged Duke Welley had bled out after slicing the throats of all the conspirators storming his palace bedroom. The cursed blood dried in the wooden joints would prove invaluable for his next experiment: is lunacy contagious?
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fork, siren, Disney fantasy
 

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