Stories in the Honorverse

chrispenycate

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Is there anything that needs filling out? Yes, I'm writing it for Parson, and he has the final say, but I had intended each section to be a thousand words, with the total not exceeding ten thousand. Fairly clear that that target's been missed, so I suppose I can thicken up almost anywhere - so long as it's not padding (and we're an awfully long way from padding yet). I'm not intending to go as technical as David Weber (although I could, and I suppose to maintain the style it might be worth considering) but I'm assuming you've read all the books I have, and I'm just filling in the corners that nobody else has written so far. But the next two sections are beyond anything in the books, and might take me rather a lot longer ( not the 'Silesia' one, that's almost finished - the two that are barely started.

And thanks for enjoying it.
 

Parson

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03
"Trevor McGregor."
Chris, I thoroughly enjoyed this one! These are better than almost all of the established authors additions in the Honorverse books.

But there is much in paragraphs 2 and 3 that I would love to know more about. I think you have really hit it in terms of Trevor being at first a Mascot, and then I'm assuming someone who was picked on. I would loved to have read about a couple of incidents that built up these names and change.

I also loved the bit with his "teddy bear" to the girls. And almost laughed out loud when reading of his interaction with Aramina. That's an image I'll not soon get out of my mind. (I'm still grinning.)

There is one thing that is bothering me though. Tree cats are very, very clan oriented. I would think that there would have to be some reason given why Trevor can function so well without an obvious clan or pair bond to sustain him.
This is another very interesting tale to add to the collection. You have opened up all kinds of lines of inquiry here. I did have some trouble following the "movie." I wasn't sure if it was a fictional tale, or a documentary through which Quiet Soul could see a future which would eventually come to pass.

Somehow, though he didn't believe they were investigating his computer for program details; the 'cats always knew when there was something
This appears to be a fragment.

And I didn't understand what the "settle" was in paragraph 2. "Settlement?" And it seemed odd that Tieman and Annie were "not great with sign" and a few lines later would "find themselves signing at work." Then.... "The Witch of Endor?" ..... The one who saw Samuel rising from the dead to tell King Saul about his future? Or is my Biblical knowledge getting in the way of a more obvious and SF reference?


Okay, I've got to say this. Why don't you approach David Weber with these stories when you've got them written and edited and see if he's willing to add them to the next Honorverse book? These are far, far, too good to be kept in near obscurity here. If I remember right there was a time you were communicating with Weber. Is it possible to pick up that thread again?

Chris, I can't tell you how much I like these stories. I can't wait to put them together in a progressive order!
 

chrispenycate

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I seem to be specialised in delivering these on Sundays, don't I? Never mind, you can read them later:D.
Chris, I thoroughly enjoyed this one! These are better than almost all of the established authors additions in the Honorverse books.
But that's largely because it's special for you, rather than any inherent virtue. Personalised, almost (although I wrote about what interested me - pure serendipity that you should like it too). And you know the author (always a good sauce.)

But there is much in paragraphs 2 and 3 that I would love to know more about. I think you have really hit it in terms of Trevor being at first a Mascot, and then I'm assuming someone who was picked on. I would loved to have read about a couple of incidents that built up these names and change.
I was trying to remain compact. (yes, I know, some of us aren't built for it.) Obviously, I know quite a bit more than I'm putting down, but I'm afraid of info-dump.

I also loved the bit with his "teddy bear" to the girls. And almost laughed out loud when reading of his interaction with Aramina. That's an image I'll not soon get out of my mind. (I'm still grinning.)
Bleek.

There is one thing that is bothering me though. Tree cats are very, very clan oriented. I would think that there would have to be some reason given why Trevor can function so well without an obvious clan or pair bond to sustain him.
Even so, 'cats are quite exogamous, and young males explore independently - this is clear from 'Changer of Worlds'. So he extends this into the human clans. But I could add elements of his miserable flight to Manticore, the five hours being interrogated by self-important immigration officers as a suspected spy (never mind the improbability - an immigration officer needs to be a little racist, and spiecist is just an extension of that), his recuperation by the Harrington family, culminating in the voder intended for Nimitz being transferred to him, the university authorities who'd taken him for the human in his identity photo, rather than the 'cat - this could get a touch long, you know.

07
Movie
You have opened up all kinds of lines of inquiry here.
Too many? If I try to map every little picketpath I cross, this thing's going to grow to novel length.

I did have some trouble following the "movie." I wasn't sure if it was a fictional tale, or a documentary through which Quiet Soul could see a future which would eventually come to pass.
It is a documentary about Twigrunner's service with the RMN - and as such about fifty-fifty fiction/history. And Quiet soul isn't anyone important (except as a mother, and what could be more important than that?) She will see the change but will not participate directly. And I'm hoping the 'Silesia' chapter? Segment? will fill in a lot of what is going on in the film.

Somehow, though he didn't believe they were investigating his computer for program details; the 'cats always knew when there was something
This appears to be a fragment.
Ooops. My computer keeps doing that to me - jumping to another line while I'm not watching it. If it were anyone else's work I'd spot it straight off. (goes to document)
Somehow, though, he didn't believe they were investigating his computer for program details; the 'cats always knew when there was something on the trivee that interested them, and his place was a designated viewing spot.
And I didn't understand what the "settle" was in paragraph 2. "Settlement?"
settle 2 |ˈsetl|
noun
a wooden bench with a high back and arms, typically incorporating a box under the seat.
ORIGIN Old English setl ‘a place to sit,’ of Germanic origin; related to German Sessel and Latin sella ‘seat,’ also to sit.
A sort of cross between a sofa and a clothes chest - my grandmother had one, I have one, and I've seen them in the States (East Coast), but don't know what they're called. Or assumed they'd be the same as over here.
I didn't want a detailed description, just a few bold pencil strokes to give a cartoon sketch, with the traditional and the high-tech meeting and merging.
And it seemed odd that Tieman and Annie were "not great with sign" and a few lines later would "find themselves signing at work."
I was pointing out their isolation from the rest of humanity, and I've seen the equivalent happen. French speakers with very laborious English saying 'yes' to me, rather than 'oui', despite the fact that I was fully capable of talking to them in their own language. Little coded phrases, when a couple know each other well enough that they don't need all the words. Prolong is only going to increase the dialect effect.

Then.... "The Witch of Endor?" ..... The one who saw Samuel rising from the dead to tell King Saul about his future? Or is my Biblical knowledge getting in the way of a more obvious and SF reference?
It is merely the given name of one of the LACs. If it intrudes, it can be changed with no tears. Just try to maintain the feminine side:).
As a ship she comes from the C.S. Forester 'Flying Colours' book, and as such slots into the Honorverse. [/Quote]

Okay, I've got to say this. Why don't you approach David Weber with these stories when you've got them written and edited and see if he's willing to add them to the next Honorverse book? These are far, far, too good to be kept in near obscurity here. If I remember right there was a time you were communicating with Weber. Is it possible to pick up that thread again?
Because I'm a totally useless salesman, have no idea if these are still canon and editing? Up to a publishable standard? Aaarrrggghh! Even ignoring the fact that most of the requested modifications involve adding, rather than removing text (well, Benben can go, he's taken far to much importance) all of this is first draft, the Silesia section keeps expanding like Parkinson's law (I know the end, but don't appear to be approaching it), and there are two more segments little more than scribbled notes that I need to bring the whole to a logical close.
Anyway (panic sounding in his voice) I was only discussing technology with him, he probably won't remember me at all - and lots of people will be trying for his patronage…
Chris, I can't tell you how much I like these stories. I can't wait to put them together in a progressive order!
They're nearly ready for order now - I'm sorry I couldn't write them like that.
 

Parson

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I was trying to remain compact. (yes, I know, some of us aren't built for it.) Obviously, I know quite a bit more than I'm putting down, but I'm afraid of info-dump.
Weber doesn't appear to worry about info dumps. :rolleyes: But it probably is always better to go for more compact in everything but cars.

Even so, 'cats are quite exogamous, and young males explore independently - this is clear from 'Changer of Worlds'. So he extends this into the human clans. But I could add elements of his miserable flight to Manticore, the five hours being interrogated by self-important immigration officers as a suspected spy (never mind the improbability - an immigration officer needs to be a little racist, and spiecist is just an extension of that), his recuperation by the Harrington family, culminating in the voder intended for Nimitz being transferred to him, the university authorities who'd taken him for the human in his identity photo, rather than the 'cat - this could get a touch long, you know.
Good point about the young males. These would be fine chapters in a novel, but if you're aiming at something closer to a short story they probably belong in your personal back story. ---- But I'd love to read them. :whistle:

settle 2 |ˈsetl|
noun
a wooden bench with a high back and arms, typically incorporating a box under the seat.
ORIGIN Old English setl ‘a place to sit,’ of Germanic origin; related to German Sessel and Latin sella ‘seat,’ also to sit.
A sort of cross between a sofa and a clothes chest - my grandmother had one, I have one, and I've seen them in the States (East Coast), but don't know what they're called. Or assumed they'd be the same as over here.
I didn't want a detailed description, just a few bold pencil strokes to give a cartoon sketch, with the traditional and the high-tech meeting and merging.
This is unknown to me. But I know about a "Parson's Bench." (Vacant space where a picture was supposed to be.) Sigh! I couldn't get a link to work. I looked up Settle and talked to my wife who is big into home decor, and she would also have called the Settle a "Parson's Bench." I kinda like the idea of a Parson's Bench. :D

I was pointing out their isolation from the rest of humanity, and I've seen the equivalent happen. French speakers with very laborious English saying 'yes' to me, rather than 'oui', despite the fact that I was fully capable of talking to them in their own language. Little coded phrases, when a couple know each other well enough that they don't need all the words. Prolong is only going to increase the dialect effect.
Interesting. And also a good insight. Thanks

It is merely the given name of one of the LACs. If it intrudes, it can be changed with no tears. Just try to maintain the feminine side:).
As a ship she comes from the C.S. Forester 'Flying Colours' book, and as such slots into the Honorverse.
Makes good sense. I knew I reading too much into the idea of the "Witch of Endor."

Because I'm a totally useless salesman, have no idea if these are still canon and editing? Up to a publishable standard? Aaarrrggghh! Even ignoring the fact that most of the requested modifications involve adding, rather than removing text (well, Benben can go, he's taken far to much importance) all of this is first draft, the Silesia section keeps expanding like Parkinson's law (I know the end, but don't appear to be approaching it), and there are two more segments little more than scribbled notes that I need to bring the whole to a logical close.
Anyway (panic sounding in his voice) I was only discussing technology with him, he probably won't remember me at all - and lots of people will be trying for his patronage…
You are obviously not giving yourself enough credit. Maybe he's looking for some good material in his next book. If you want to do the work it couldn't hurt to ask.

They're nearly ready for order now - I'm sorry I couldn't write them like that.
For Pete's sake! You have NOTHING to apologize for. I'm happy to read them in whatever order they appear. The only down side I see for me is that now I'll be thinking about these as an official part of the Honorverse.
 
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Parson

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Chris, I think that this is the best story so far, at least in terms of getting the right flavor of the Honorverse in this style story. I've always loved the way that when Dame Harrington gets involved in anything the people doing their job get rewarded and those who don't, don't.

And so the hours ticked by, and the freighter captain was informed he could not leave until the situation was settled, one shift ended and the uniform was replaced by one identical except that it bulged in different places, containing a female whose mindset appeared identical until she came up with her idea. Perhaps, in her lifetime she would have others - this one sufficed for the here and now.
This sounds like Weber, and made me smile!! As did this one remind me of Weber's way of doing things:

a girl who specialised in custom goggles/earsets, who'd just seen the word 'custom' explode in her face but was fascinated by the challenge,
You do realize that specialis(z)ed is spelled incorrectly. :p And that there is no such thing as "earsets." :p Earphones? Earbuds? Something placed in the head via surgery?

(or he predecessor)
Of course you meant "her" predecessor.

(rather more than civil servants, actually, while the present pinup of the commons, Admiral the salamander Duchess Harrington - the less said, the soonest forgotten.
I didn't quite get this. I thought that the meaning was that Admiral Harrington had no patience with civil servants, but I had a hard time contrasting that thought with "while the present pinup of the commons (assuming you mean commoners). I also suspect you meant to enclose with parenthesis, rather than using a single one.

I really enjoyed the mellow ending to the story. Well done! Well done!


As to the "settle," it looks like something I would love to "settle down" in for a long winters type. And you are right many "Parsons" are well padded indeed. But it is not considered polite to make mention of their plush seating.
 

Timba

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Is there anything that needs filling out? Yes, I'm writing it for Parson, and he has the final say, but I had intended each section to be a thousand words, with the total not exceeding ten thousand. Fairly clear that that target's been missed, so I suppose I can thicken up almost anywhere - so long as it's not padding (and we're an awfully long way from padding yet). I'm not intending to go as technical as David Weber (although I could, and I suppose to maintain the style it might be worth considering) but I'm assuming you've read all the books I have, and I'm just filling in the corners that nobody else has written so far. But the next two sections are beyond anything in the books, and might take me rather a lot longer ( not the 'Silesia' one, that's almost finished - the two that are barely started.

And thanks for enjoying it.
I think the Parson is doing a fine job of direction and question so I will wait and read again in the full order and maybe then comment on a hint I would like expanded but probably not as I really do enjoy that.
 

Parson

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Great. I will need another day or three to comment fully, but great they are.
 

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Well played Chrispy. It is too true that "her grace" does not suffer fools gladly, as many members of the nobility have found out to their consternation. I'm thinking of Houseman or is it Householder, or something of the like in "For the Honor of the Queen."

Comments on the latest stories still to come. Sorry.
 

Timba

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I'm tickled pink by what you are writing Chris. Wish I could jump in and help as you request with battle scenes but my writer's block starts immediately. I really look forward to reading the coherent whole but am enjoying the segments immensely. Thanks.
 

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Well, this thread is a treat. After being away for a few weeks to come back to this is just great. Well done Chris. This should be published, Honor fans would love it I'm sure. :)
 

Parson

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Silisea 1&2

"Are they homosexual?" asked Miriam Nguto, the almost official reporter and the only true civilian aboard. She'd schemed, bribed, grovelled and mortgaged her soul for this assignment, certain it would get her name enshrined in history, and now her subjects were leaving, on a vessel far too small for her and her surgically implanted cameras and microphones, to follow. She'd wriggled into the volume they were going to inhabit, and seen the modifications to the accommodations, filmed them training in human-scale simulators, discussed the upcoming mission with them in voder and sign, but the truth remained - they were going out into hardship and danger and she would be safe on the CLAC. This would not look good on her CV, if ever she were seeking work again, rather than it looking for her.
This is probably too picky, but I would put the question after explaining who Miriam was. I kinda lost track by the time the answer came around. I like the detail, but if you are seriously trying to cut down the size of the story there is some fluff in this paragraph.

I also had some trouble following the action in the battle. Part of it I think is that I just can't take much concentrated time reading tonight and I feel as though I've waited over long as it is to reply. Another part is that I am not sure about who's who in the crew, a symptom I would expect would be relieved if I had been reading the story in order. And perhaps these crew relationships would have been fleshed out by then.

You did have some very nice tech ideas. Boarding a ship in space is a highly unlikely thing, but you have made it seem difficult but possible. Good job.

Backstory:

I loved this. You can never have too much back story for me.
 
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Parson

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Chris, I think all this stuff about Geneva is fluff. I got lost in it. It reminds me of an info dump. I lost the thread of the story for a bit there and wondered if you had wandered elsewhere. Was that a newsman being sent to Geneva? Or a mobster? Is that the kind of vermin that you are leading up to? ---- Also, I wonder about one of your premises. I would have thought if you have to use inertial compensators that ability to withstand a bit more gravity would be a minimal advantage. ---- Then I wonder too about the timeline. It seems a far jump from Trevor going into the navy to leading the construction of “cat” boat. (Numerous bad puns on “cat house” keep coming to mind.) But I did like you’re rumination on the need and difficulty of a com system. I would not have thought of that, but you are clearly right that would have be a considerable change from accepted naval construction and flight practices.

Other little things: aboreal do you mean arboreal? Or is this another Queen’s English vs. The bastardized version found in the colonies?

pray, would never - (have) had to fight — I sure “had” is a typo.

“unprecidented” you mean unprecedented, right?

“debutant” you mean debutante, right?
 

Parson

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Thanks Chris, I think that this is a great place for these. But feel free to PM if you'd like. I will dig into the story soon.
 

Timba

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Chris, please do not limit these to Parson. I am reading them all and loving them. I think you have really hit on something with this entire idea of expanding treecat involvement with human society and the military in particular. Really good idea and you are providing really good little story lines. I LOVE IT!!!
 

Parson

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Untitled story about Tree cat marines.

I liked this story very much! It felt like something Weber would write in the way that Weber would write it. I especially liked the way you tied it into one of Weber's early books: “For the Honor of the Queen.”

You had some great lines like “an embarrassment of shoulders.” I also respected how you moved from the physical strengths of a cat warrior, to his most important strength, being empath. You've obviously thought this through at a significant level. I also liked the voice you gave the marine. He sounded like the real deal.

I don't see a word I would change.

Infodistribute

eyposé to exposé

I see this as more of an information download than a story. Though it does point to a number of daring-dos, that would make excellent fodder for a story. I like the information about cats and what limitations their empathy has, as well as what unexpected abilities it gives them. Once again I am confused by the sequence. Since you are writing these as a kind of catch as catch-can order, this may be irrelevant, but I certainly felt that this was a generation or two in advance from the original story line.

(I cannot concentrate enough on the third story so I'll have to leave that one for tomorrow or so.)

Chris, thank you for the honor of reading these stories.



Parson
 

Timba

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Chris, I want to boost Parson's comment 100%. There were times it really did feel like Weber was writing and I say that with great admiration of Weber and your ability to capture that feeling. I too found the additional story lines hinted at to be beguiling.

Well done!!!!

Tim
 

Parson

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Infodump

Chris, if this was an infodump, I want more of them and more often. This really gave me some insights into the development of the "cat" and "human" relationship on a macro level. Once again you hinted at something I would love to have known more about. "Cat Tri-vee stars on Sol?" I was intrigued by the idea of the "editing" of the memory songs. It would of course be a necessity, but I had not thought about the fact, nor do I believe Weber has dealt with that side in any detail. I find nothing in the story that I would want to pick at. I just wish that there was more of it.

I'm waiting patiently (or not) for the next installment. ---- I had thought it might be here when I came to comment on the final story from last week.


Great Job!
 

Timba

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Chris,
Clearly not finished but highly entertaining even so. Again the possibilities that you pop into these continue to astound me. You are a veritable cornucopia of interesting tidbits. The two mothers bursting in laughter was genius, bringing such a common human experience to the interplay between species. We can all hope that meeting another species will go so well should we ever get there.

Thanks again for your hard work on this.

Tim
 

chrispenycate

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After several suggestions that I offer these to David Weber for potential inclusion in one of his future 'More than Honor' anthologies, I wandered over to Baen's Bar, where I still have drinking privileges, and discovered - that DW strongly disapproves of fanfic (contrary to Eric Flint, who actively encourages it, and has collaborated with Weber several times in the past). So I have withdrawn those posts, but will, in the fullness of time and as I get them finished, PM my remaining bits in planned order to Parson and Timba (and anyone else can contact me, though, looking at the rate views were rising there were not many following it).

This does mean I don't have to buy the 'Star Kingdom' YA books, to make sure I'm more or less canon, nor try and maintain production speed, all advantages, and I might get enough distance from Silesia 2 to make a rewrite tolerable, rather than just a repeat of the original, all advantages.
 

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Chris,

The advantages do not outweigh the cost in my opinion. I am truly sorry that the stories cannot be left up here for others to enjoy for who knows how long. I hadn't gotten around to reading the last installment you had a link to here. I'm eager to read it if you want to send it over.
 
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