DISCUSSION -- August 2015 75-word Writing Challenge

[Ursa major]

The poll is now closed and we have a winner:

Congratulations, Cascade!​

 

[Bob Senior]

ursa major, THANK YOU for the runner up listing, life is good.

I've cast my vote, almost voted for the new kid that just joined on the 21st but didn't find the authority part, although I always call the person with the gun SIR or Madam whichever the case may be.

Bob S.

 

[Bob Senior]

Congrats Cascade, the news just popped up when I posted my previous reply.

I hope you come up with some good ol' home grown si fi stuff.

Bob S.

 

[Juliana]

Congratulations Cascade! Well done.

 

[TheDustyZebra]

Oh my lord, I've been running around like a chicken with its head cut off today, and *forgot to vote*.

First time ever. I totally forgot what day it was.

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

Many congratulations to Cascade on a stunning victory, ahead of the pack all the way.

Congratulations also to Phyrebrat for a very strong second place, far ahead of the rest.

 

[Droflet]

Well done Cascade. A very worthy winner among many great entries.
Many thanks to Ursa for the mention. Now, on to September.

 

[Parson]

Congratulations Cascade -- I'm sure it was meaningful history to those who follow soccer. I hadn't clue what it was about. The best I could figure was the some hooligans ran wild and people died.

-----

As for my story, I've been thinking about the event with Peter and John going to the temple after Jesus has ascended, and healing the man. The phrase from the King James Bible just exuded authority for me "Silver or gold have I none, but such as I have I give to you. In the name of Jesus stand up and walk." I wondered why Peter said "Look at me." And decided it was because the beggar didn't see any good possibilities in these 2 ex-fishermen, and was still looking to the establishment for his help.

 

[Cascade]

Thanks everyone for their kind words and congratulations, (and votes). Since last I posted I think Culwych and Robert Mackay gave me the votes that got me over the line. Thanks Heaps. Also thanks for the mentions farntfar, Tim James, Void and Johnnyjet.

I was 16 in 1989, and though I wasn't living in the UK and wasn't really a soccer fan, the images have stuck with me.

It is an event that I have returned to a few times in my writing in the 25 years since, though it wasn't the first idea I had on this one. I wrestled for a few days with 'the battle of cable street' but it didn't come together, and then when thinking of ideas for a longer piece came back to Hillsborough. As a said, I've tried to do the horror of that day justice previously, and often found myself over-writing, or becoming overblown. I think the 75 words helped to keep a deliberate lid on hyperbole and that helped it work.

I'll be honest, I was not sure of it initially but left it for a day or two after writing and when I re-read it, it gave me a chill, so I was delighted to hear others were similarly effected by it.

 

[Cascade]

Congratulations Cascade -- I'm sure it was meaningful history to those who follow soccer. I hadn't clue what it was about. The best I could figure was the some hooligans ran wild and people died.

Parson. You are forgiven, as you didn't know the events referred to but the bolded bit was decidedly not what it was about.

Though it took too long for that to be generally accepted...

(sorry for the double post)

 

[Kerrybuchanan]

Congratulations, Cascade!

And thank you to Luiglin, farntfar and TitaniumTi, as well as to all those who mentioned/listed my bit of tongue-in-cheek nonsense. I don't think it needed any explanations!

 

[Culhwch]

Congrats, Cascade! A very worthy winner - it basically had my vote from the moment I read it a day or two after you posted it. Although that's not to say they weren't some worthy challengers, either.

Many thanks to everyone who short-listed my story. I was worried I wasn't going to get anything in this month, and I couldn't even really say where my idea came from. I was just rolling the idea of authority over in my mind, looking for an angle, and at some point Galileo popped in there. One of those months where it all just kind of fell neatly after the initial idea struck.

Cul - A moment of change as science and faith collide, but what really sold the story was the superb wording of the last line.

I can't really take too much credit for that. In doing some research I found a quote attributed to Galileo that I paraphrased for that last line...

 

[Grimward]

Alas, but work was awful the 2nd half of the week, and my penchant for considering the offerings until the last day did me in as far as voting was concerned. Didn't want to leave the efforts unmentioned, though, and my hat's off to all of you for the history lessons, especially:

hardsciencefanagain - gulp.

Kerry - hee hee, thanks for the grin

ratsy - nice twist

Brian Rogers - Like the ending. Well put.

TitaniumTi - Another, nicely twisted.

BrisGirl - I'll never look at biscuits quite the same way again.

Ursa - Thank you for the pointer; had never heard of that piece of history/legend before (Magna Carta? Of course! Loss of the Crown Jewels in the tide? Well, our US history books were a bit weak on that part!).

StilLearning - Nice to see the witch turning the tables for a change

Finally, thanks for the mentions, Ti and Ursa, and congrats to Cascade. Can't wait to see the task you set us next month!

 

[Moonbat]

Well done cascade. A deserved win.

 

[alchemist]

Well done Cascade and hard luck to Phyrebrat who put in a terrific late sprint.

And many thanks to mosaix and Mr Orange for the votes!

 

[LittleStar]

Well done, Cascade. A great win for a great story (And I take extra from the fact that the challenge winner voted for me).


As for my story, I had no idea what I was going to write when I stumbled on the William Tell story while flicking through a book of 'lost skills', archery being one of these skills. I had never known the whole story of Tell, only that he shot an apple of his boy's head.

But the whole story, for those who don't know, is that he refused to bow before the hat of the region's ruler, and this ruler wanted to punish him. He had heard that Tell was a famously good shot with the crossbow, so he set up the challenge. If he missed, then they both died, if he hit it they were free to go. Being the hero of the story, Tell made the shot and his story continues on a little way sparking a revolution after he eventually kills this ruler.

But the main thing that struck me about the story was, Tell pulled out two bolts when aiming for the apple. And when asked about it he said, " if I had missed and killed my son while shooting, the second bolt was for the ruler." And that's where the challenge to authority and the fictional aspects came in (as much as it can be in an unconfirmed legend). I had good fun researching it and good fun writing it, and I am looking forward to the next time someone drops historical fiction on us

 

[Jo Zebedee]

@Parson - if you google Hillsborough you should get the story but it was very tragic - a lot of people died through crushing when the police closed gates meant to ease crowd pressure at the match. It's taken the family years to get justice but last year the police finally accepted they were to blame and the orders they were isssued with that day caused the tragedy. It was very much to do with who was in authority and the decisions they took, even during the mounting horror. That it all happened live on TV means that I think anyone in the UK who was old enough to remember it will always carry the images.

Mine was obscure - I knew it would be when I wrote it - but I fancied telling the story.

John de Courcy built the castle in our town. (See pic). He was a knight who came over with Strongbow (Richard de clare) to take Ireland for King Richard the Lionheart, and was given permission to try to take Ulster for the king (at that stage there was no North/South Ireland, just the four ancient provinces). He took Ulster and then married the daughter of the King of the Isle of Man, a very powerful king and set himself up as a quasi kingdom, becoming more and more independent from the English king.

But, he set up a coin mint and made the mistake of putting his own likeness on the coins instead of the English King's (by now John, Richard's younger brother, traditionally called Lackland). That, essentially meant he called himself king and challenged John's authority.

John came over, took the castle, deposed de Courcey and put others in his place (if anyone has read the Lady of Hay, this was around that time, and it was from the same castle she was fleeing from when she was captured, taken to John and killed horribly).

John died, unknown and penniless in France.

 

[TitaniumTi]

Congratulations, Cascade, on a well-deserved win.

Thank you, Ashleyne, for the vote. (Yes! A vote... That's a better mood enhancer than a whole block of chocolate.) Thank you, Mr Orange and StillLearning for the listings.

My story was adapted from events narrated to me by a Polish-born professor. Her father had also been a professor -- in Krakow before WWII. The University was closed when Germany invaded, then the German occupiers called a meeting to discuss re-opening the University. The professor was a chronic late-arriver at functions, and this tendency saved him when he arrived at the meeting to see his colleagues being loaded onto trucks at gunpoint.

I thought this story was worth re-telling, both as a remembrance and a warning.

DG Jones -- you were spot-on with time and place. I was checking the date (November, 1939) and read that this event was part of a deliberate program of cultural obliteration... Truly dreadful.

 

[Glen]

Congratulations Cascade on a well-deserved victory. I was only a two or three miles from that disaster when it happened, and your story evoked the horror and shock everyone felt at the time. Great writing.

Just a note on my story: the largely unpopular Jenkins and Smythe from my story first appeared in the September 2012 75d writing challenge which explained more about them and their historical niche.

 

[Ursa major]

Loss of the Crown Jewels in the tide? Well, our US history books were a bit weak on that part!).

Possibly because the incident is shrouded in mystery and doubt (which is why I didn't learn about it in History classes at school). I only know about it because a couple of programmes on the TV have mentioned it this year. (One of the programmes I've only seen the section that mentioned the incident but, by the wonders of TV repeats, I've inadvertently seen that same section three times!)

Anyway, my entry was pretty straightforward, give or take the hasty addition of the theme, authority, at the last minute. (I was prompted to do this when setting up the poll; in my desperation to get something -- anything -- written down that had any sort of historical connection, I'd forgotten the theme....) Because of the panic, the puns were restricted to the title, which, at first, was A Tidy Sum, pointing at what happened: the tide coming in, flooding the path on which the baggage train was travelling. Thinking that this was a bit obscure (which of my puns aren't?) and that the 75-words weren't sufficient to indicate what had (allegedly) happened, I added Awash with Riches, and demoted the original title to an add-on.

It was at this point that my subconscious punning engine had come into play. The major body of water involved here, the arm of the North Sea which provided the incoming tide, is The Wash. It was only after the competition had closed that I noticed this unconscious play on words....