This is the beginning of a roughly 10k steam punk I'm writing as a displacement activity from the novel. I would appreciate any feedback, but especially in reference to the diving suit aspects (@HareBrain and @Boneman?).
Although not quite a first draft exactly, this is definitely not polished as it isn't quite finished yet, but feel free to correct the execrable grammar anyway.
Deep down, I hadn’t ever really trusted Howard, I suppose. Watching the Dolphin disappear up through the murky waters of the Bay of Abu Qir without me, I could have kicked myself for not following my instincts.
I knew, now, why I had turned down his proposal.
The air hose linking me to the ship coiled down to settle on the seabed, draping itself artistically around the neck of the sphinx I had been examining a moment before.
Grabbing the end of it was like trying to catch a slippery eel while wearing boxing gloves, but I managed to seize it about ten feet from the cut-end and doubled it over several times to seal in whatever air remained.
My options were few and none looked promising to a girl a whisker away from panic. Holding the hose in my left hand I fumbled with my weight belt with the right, finally managing to undo it by main force. It dropped to the seabed and my feet began to rise from the sand a little. Not enough. Bending my knees I thrust against the statue, no room for regret at any damage my weighted boots might do to the priceless artifact. My free arm made swimming motions, but the left one was hampered by the hose, so my ascent was painfully slow.
On the way up, I wondered what story Howard would be telling my crew. No doubt a sad tale of a hose severed on a sharp rock, and his grief as he watched my dying gasps through the tiny window of the diving bell. I wondered if my face had turned blue or if the murky water filling my bronze mask had kindly obscured my features.
It’s not true, what they say about your life flashing before you the when you are about to die. All that I could think was that I would be joining my father soon, and regret that I hadn’t been able to complete his life’s work dragged at me.
I thought of Howard’s last words before we climbed into the diving bell. “I still love you, Jocelyn. I will always love you. I wish you could have believed that.” What twisted fate had turned a lover into a murderer?
By the time I reached the surface, spots danced in front of my eyes. I thanked the god of archaeologists that my dive hadn’t been any deeper or I would have been in serious trouble.
Limited visibility through the round glass plate meant I had no idea how close I would be to the ship when I surfaced. When I did, all I could see was sea and sky.
Far from safe yet, my unresponsive fingers struggled with the butterfly-bolts securing the helmet to the bronze collar at the top of my diving suit. What air I had left was barely breathable, making me feel nauseous. At last the helmet came free and I lifted it over my head, giving myself a ducking as the heavy boots tried to pull me back down. I threw the helmet away from me and immediately felt the improvement in buoyancy. Huge gasps of glorious Mediterranean air chased the spots away and soon I began to feel better.
Legs like lead weights still kicked to keep my head above water, but now I could spin in the water and look for the Ariadne. As I turned I nearly forgot to kick in shock. I could see my ship clearly enough but alongside her lay another vessel, much bigger and totally unlike anything I had ever seen before.
I spat salt water out and let myself sink slightly so I wouldn't be so easily seen from the strange craft while I struggled to undo the laces of my diving suit. It wasn't easy, but I managed to loosen them enough that I could struggle out of the suit, using my teeth to pull the gloves off my fingers. The relief was immense. I felt as light as a feather, floating effortlessly in the salty water. I wasn't even cold, not yet anyway. A steady breaststroke took me towards the two vessels without creating any splashing to catch the eye.
Although not quite a first draft exactly, this is definitely not polished as it isn't quite finished yet, but feel free to correct the execrable grammar anyway.
######
Deep down, I hadn’t ever really trusted Howard, I suppose. Watching the Dolphin disappear up through the murky waters of the Bay of Abu Qir without me, I could have kicked myself for not following my instincts.
I knew, now, why I had turned down his proposal.
The air hose linking me to the ship coiled down to settle on the seabed, draping itself artistically around the neck of the sphinx I had been examining a moment before.
Grabbing the end of it was like trying to catch a slippery eel while wearing boxing gloves, but I managed to seize it about ten feet from the cut-end and doubled it over several times to seal in whatever air remained.
My options were few and none looked promising to a girl a whisker away from panic. Holding the hose in my left hand I fumbled with my weight belt with the right, finally managing to undo it by main force. It dropped to the seabed and my feet began to rise from the sand a little. Not enough. Bending my knees I thrust against the statue, no room for regret at any damage my weighted boots might do to the priceless artifact. My free arm made swimming motions, but the left one was hampered by the hose, so my ascent was painfully slow.
On the way up, I wondered what story Howard would be telling my crew. No doubt a sad tale of a hose severed on a sharp rock, and his grief as he watched my dying gasps through the tiny window of the diving bell. I wondered if my face had turned blue or if the murky water filling my bronze mask had kindly obscured my features.
It’s not true, what they say about your life flashing before you the when you are about to die. All that I could think was that I would be joining my father soon, and regret that I hadn’t been able to complete his life’s work dragged at me.
I thought of Howard’s last words before we climbed into the diving bell. “I still love you, Jocelyn. I will always love you. I wish you could have believed that.” What twisted fate had turned a lover into a murderer?
By the time I reached the surface, spots danced in front of my eyes. I thanked the god of archaeologists that my dive hadn’t been any deeper or I would have been in serious trouble.
Limited visibility through the round glass plate meant I had no idea how close I would be to the ship when I surfaced. When I did, all I could see was sea and sky.
Far from safe yet, my unresponsive fingers struggled with the butterfly-bolts securing the helmet to the bronze collar at the top of my diving suit. What air I had left was barely breathable, making me feel nauseous. At last the helmet came free and I lifted it over my head, giving myself a ducking as the heavy boots tried to pull me back down. I threw the helmet away from me and immediately felt the improvement in buoyancy. Huge gasps of glorious Mediterranean air chased the spots away and soon I began to feel better.
Legs like lead weights still kicked to keep my head above water, but now I could spin in the water and look for the Ariadne. As I turned I nearly forgot to kick in shock. I could see my ship clearly enough but alongside her lay another vessel, much bigger and totally unlike anything I had ever seen before.
I spat salt water out and let myself sink slightly so I wouldn't be so easily seen from the strange craft while I struggled to undo the laces of my diving suit. It wasn't easy, but I managed to loosen them enough that I could struggle out of the suit, using my teeth to pull the gloves off my fingers. The relief was immense. I felt as light as a feather, floating effortlessly in the salty water. I wasn't even cold, not yet anyway. A steady breaststroke took me towards the two vessels without creating any splashing to catch the eye.
