Tell me about it. Then, the, just are a few of mine. I had a bad dose of the repeats for some time, easy got, hard to shake.
Ford crossing scene
- Thread starter SleepyDormouse
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Tell me about it. Then, the, just are a few of mine. I had a bad dose of the repeats for some time, easy got, hard to shake.
Are they at a ford proper? Or is it merely a place where the river can be forded?
What if they were to turn the wagon down the stream and let the river carry them..?
Then the weight of the caravan would be carried by the water, and the horses wouldn't be fighting the current. As long as the water is not so cold the horses would founder. Traveling downstream would be incredibly fast. They would lose the searchers quickly.
It is a bit 'tell' heavy. Perhaps some shouted commands? Short interjections? Followed up by action bits?
Very nice piece sleepy dormouse!
What if they were to turn the wagon down the stream and let the river carry them..?
Then the weight of the caravan would be carried by the water, and the horses wouldn't be fighting the current. As long as the water is not so cold the horses would founder. Traveling downstream would be incredibly fast. They would lose the searchers quickly.
It is a bit 'tell' heavy. Perhaps some shouted commands? Short interjections? Followed up by action bits?
Very nice piece sleepy dormouse!
SleepyDormouse
dreaming away....
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- Jan 10, 2011
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- 239
Thank you Jastius. I like your suggestion of them going downstream, will consider it and look at removing the tells.
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