using the word "suddenly"

[EJ Heijnis]

Yes Of course not! I just locked them in the basement put them on the naughty step.

Brutality! Murder most foul! If a sigh is all it takes to earn a death sentence, I shudder to think what you do to the ones that somehow end up on the wrong side of the room, change ages mid-story, forget the last three chapters ever happened, or *gasp* generate clunky dialogue.

As far as "suddenly" goes, I don't think it works very well. You can get away with it in many cases, but it will never create that gut-sinking feeling in your reader that a well-written, genuine, shocking surprise can. Whenever I encounter it while reading, it's just an extra word, without any impact. I have just been told that what happened next was sudden. Shrug.

 

[Ray McCarthy]

Suddenly he realised the word must have a use, or no-one would have coined it. It would also have dropped out use. He stared at the screen and hesitated over the Backspace key.

 

[EJ Heijnis]

Suddenly he realised the word must have a use, or no-one would have coined it. It would also have dropped out use. He stared at the screen and hesitated over the Backspace key.

I think it's perfectly fine in conversation, but it defeats its own purpose when used in fiction.

 

[Ray McCarthy]

Dialogue of characters?

I think 100% unbreakable "rules" for fiction are wrong. Certainly it's a word to be carefully used.

 

[EJ Heijnis]

Dialogue of characters?

I think 100% unbreakable "rules" for fiction are wrong. Certainly it's a word to be carefully used.

You definitely have a point there, and I think any rule that applies to writing prose goes out the window when it comes to dialogue, as long as the result sounds realistic. If you have a character telling a story, it's perfectly natural for them to employ words like "suddenly," along with any of the 'lys we try to avoid most of the time.

 

[tinkerdan]

Whenever I find the word I do try to find some other way to say the whole sentence.
For instance::

So all "suddenly" comedy aside, how do you handle unexpected events? I.E. "Joe had the cover almost completely unbolted when SUDDENLY it popped off."

Joe had the cover almost completely unbolted when, without warning, it smacked him in the face.

 

[Ray McCarthy]

without warning, it smacked him in the face.

Not the same sense ... but I agree on a general level.
I think we need to be prescriptive (generally write an alternate sentence) rather than proscriptive (your writing is a failure if it's got suddenly in it).

"Joe had the cover almost completely unbolted when SUDDENLY unexpectedly it popped off."

Mere quibbling.

 

[tinkerdan]

Ah; but now you trade one ly word for another.

Not the same sense ... but I agree on a general level.
I think we need to be prescriptive (generally write an alternate sentence) rather than proscriptive (your writing is a failure if it's got suddenly in it).

"Joe had the cover almost completely unbolted when SUDDENLY unexpectedly it popped off."

Mere quibbling.

Joe had the cover almost completely unbolted when a sudden unexpected pop startled him.

 

[Ray McCarthy]

Ah; but now you trade one ly word for another.

It illustrates the trap of following one rule blindly.
It's understanding the principles of good writing that needs huge quantity of wide reading (impossible in a vacuum) and lots of writing. IMO simply learning "rules" is really "primary school" level English.

Like the thread on "alright" it's not always entirely clear cut. But after I typed in "alright" I was immediately unhappy with it. Good proof reading and wide experience of other good books is a necessity.

 

[EJ Heijnis]

Joe attacked the bolts one by one. Sweat loosened his aching grip, threatening to send the wrench flying with each frantic twist. The cover popped open just as he started on the last bolt, striking his fingers. The wrench rang like an alarm bell as it struck the floor. Grimacing as the pain blossomed, he tore the cover all the way off. To hell with Jane's over-protective nonsense. These child-safe toilets were going to be the death of him.

 

[tinkerdan]

A yes now you convince me.

Joe attacked the bolts one by one. Sweat loosened his aching grip, threatening to send the wrench flying with each frantic twist. The cover popped open just as he started on the last bolt, striking his fingers. The wrench rang like an alarm bell as it struck the floor. Grimacing as the pain blossomed, he tore the cover all the way off. To hell with Jane's over-protective nonsense. These child-safe toilets were going to be the death of him.

Joe had the cover almost completely unbolted when SUDDENLY it popped off.
is better and much more concise.

 

[Ray McCarthy]

Joe attacked the bolts one by one

I hope his day job doesn't involve bolting stuff. Or car or tyre repair.

 

[Tim Murray]

As I've been working through my second draft I keep finding the word "suddenly" and it is really annoying me! Does anyone else find they have over used it? I'm trying to re-write so that I don't need that word any more, just did a quick find in the document and only have 14 left, (out of 38,000 words) and mostly in the part I haven't yet re-drafted.

I have the same problem with the word, "Just." Sometimes it fits, but most of the time I remove it when I catch it. Good pick-up!

 

[tinkerdan]

Suddenly
and Something
and Just

Are some of my favorites when I read. And Suddenly something just happened.

for kicks Google (yep I said Google) "suddenly something just happened" I was surprised how many hits I got on that exact phrase.

 

[Tim Murray]

As I've been working through my second draft I keep finding the word "suddenly" and it is really annoying me! Does anyone else find they have over used it? I'm trying to re-write so that I don't need that word any more, just did a quick find in the document and only have 14 left, (out of 38,000 words) and mostly in the part I haven't yet re-drafted.

Just thought of another occurrence in my WIP. Describing a single persons acts in a chapter in the third person. How do you keep from using he, or him too much?

 

[EJ Heijnis]

I hope his day job doesn't involve bolting stuff. Or car or tyre repair.

He just doesn't want to suddenly soil his pants.

A yes now you convince me.
Joe had the cover almost completely unbolted when SUDDENLY it popped off.
is better and much more concise.

Joe would appreciate skipping any suspense in the matter altogether.

 

[tinkerdan]

'Trying' too hard at avoiding those can lead to a lot of Gerunds.

Just thought of another occurrence in my WIP. Describing a single persons acts in a chapter in the third person. How do you keep from using he, or him too much?

::And passive sounding sentences.

 

[EJ Heijnis]

Just thought of another occurrence in my WIP. Describing a single persons acts in a chapter in the third person. How do you keep from using he, or him too much?

I don't think you can avoid it without using a lot of awkward sentence structures. I don't think it's much of a problem, in any case. I could be wrong, but I think "he" and other such words don't really stand out to readers.

 

[J D Foster]

To hell with Jane's over-protective nonsense. These child-safe toilets were going to be the death of him.

love it

 

[J D Foster]

In a similar vein to the unnecessary "suddenly" I just realised I used "seemed, somehow & someone" Way to much. Same rule appears to apply as with suddenly. I've been deleting them and it makes no difference to the sentence... except hopefully improving them that is.