Improving Your Prose

[A. Fare Wells]

There's a ton of useful guides available about how to develop and write a story, but I've found very little related to improving prose.

It's frustrating. I have all these great stories dreamed up, but when I put them on paper they just don't leap out of the page like I'd want. Not always, but all too frequently, the wording is, put bluntly, drab or sounds like a round of cheddar cheese—even after multiple rewrites.

So, what tips are out there to improve one's prose? Lorrie Porter offers several on her wordpress site.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

For me - because I learn by doing - getting critical feedback was the only way I learned. On Writing by King, I also found useful.

Also, sometimes, it isn't the wording but how the story is built - the tension, the characterisation, the closeness to pov. Again, critical review can help. Why not pop over to critiques and read a few/crit a few? Seeing why others' don't work - or do - is often a good way to learn?

 

[Toby Frost]

I would suggest the following, and this is just my own personal point of view.

1) Read a huge amount of all sorts of different prose. Why do you like some things more than others? Why are some better than others? Why can, for instance, the hard-boiled noir style be so easy to parody but still work?

2) Get rid of the idea, if you have it at all, that good writing is purple prose, or that it is hard to read, or that it involves long words or a lack of clarity. Good prose - and not just self-consciously stripped down stuff - is usually clear. Take, say, Mervyn Peake's prose in Titus Groan. I also suspect that some of the best prose is not to be found in SFF.

3) When writing, I ask myself "What am I trying to say, and what's the best way to say it?" The best way is often the clearest way, but "clearest" can involve using similies, metaphors and other tricks to show the reader what you mean or create a mood. I've thought before that description can be like a sort of hallucination. Normally, if you see a hawk's head, it's just that, but it could seem like a hooked knife, a wedge, a cockpit or whatever else comes to mind depending on what you want to convey about it. Ramsey Campbell is very good at creating mood through description.

4) Don't make grammatical mistakes. Run-on sentences are a very common mistake, but there are many others. It might help to get hold of a copy of Strunk & White, or a similar textbook.

That's all I can come up with for now. I'm sure other people have lots of other ideas, too.

 

[alchemist]

Read and write, basically.

Forensically examine a page by a writer whose style you like and see how they do it; how they structure sentences, do descriptions, use verbs etc. We have a thread on this sort of thing somewhere...

 

[Brian G Turner]

There's a ton of useful guides available about how to develop and write a story, but I've found very little related to improving prose.

I find that critical feedback is always very helpful.

Even more so is an awareness of the tools of storytelling, and how to use them - practicing with them and accepting criticism of when you're going wrong.

At the moment, I suspect writing is a bit like learning to drive. At first, you have to try and consciously think of everything, and it's impossible. Then it starts to click, and become more unconscious.

I know there's an argument that writing is an art, but I'd actually suggest that's it's more of a science - knowing what tools to use, and how to use them, and when and how to apply them. There is a degree of personal freedom - the artistry element - but it requires a degree of competence with the tools.

I've sometimes thought of writing as a lot like sculpting - the form of the subject requires a sense of art, but expressing it depends upon a clear practical knowledge of how to use the tools.

2c.

 

[barrett1987]

I agree with brian, that writing is a science but i'd go further and say that you can master the rules and the laws of writing and be good but to be great you need that ''something more' that spark. That's the difference between good and great. Being a good writer is my goal. I'll leave the great to others

 

[Rafellin]

Write more. Write often. Get honest people to tell you if they like the story. Get clever people to tear your craft apart.

Then go and do it again.

And again.

Start regardless. Never stop. Always question your work but never doubt yourself.

 

[Juliana]

As everyone else has said, read, write, rinse and repeat. The rinsing being having your work critiqued/beta'd, which is an incredibly important learning tool.

 

[Montero]

What everyone else has said.

Plus sometimes you just need time - as in put aside your prose for a month and come back to read it when it is less familiar to you and you can then be more critical of it. Sometimes, on a good day, you can be pleasantly surprised - as in "ooh that's better than I thought".

Putting to one side is a step in my writing process - so - end of first draft, spell check, take a break, re-read and make comments, edit in the corrections, spell check again (because the corrections could have spelling mistakes), put to one side, re-read again and then put out for comment. If you are wanting comments before you finish the book, then I'd suggest that you come back after a month of further writing to do some polishing on your opening chapter, then post say the first page in critiques.

 

[tinkerdan]

I would agree with the learning of tools and not so much the getting of feedback at the beginning.

The reason I say this is that you need to have a good grasp of the tools before the critical review because you need to be able to recognize someone who knows the tools and can help from someone who has the tools lying around but hasn't quite figured them out. (Kind of like the novice writer might be.)

This is why before getting the critical review it helps to look at the review process to start asking questions about the suggestions made and the tools necessary. Being able to determine when someone suggest using a tool you never heard of as a red flag for asking for further guidance in finding more information about that tool.

Then once you have confidence with the tools you can have the master craftsman look over your shoulder and make suggestions. If he mentions a tool you never heard of hopefully he'll understand when you ask for more information about the tool.

Even so, once you have the science figured out this really is an art and you will have to experiment to find out how far you can push the medium.

 

[The Storyteller]

I think it probably depends a bit on why your prose seems to be lacking. If it is because the plot, characters, ideas, concepts, etc. are lacking, then that is your problem right there. Go back to the basics, develop interesting and intriguing characters, polish up your ideas and etc.

However, if you feel like you have everything pulled together pretty good and are just having trouble writing prose that matches all your great ideas, then I would suggest a few things. Some people mentioned studying something you think is really well written to see how they wrote. I think this is a good exercise, as it can show you how to effectively use language. Consider what worked and what didn't work, and how you can apply it to your own writing.
Also, I would suggest reading your work out loud. If a sentence is clumsy or doesn't flow, it's easier to tell why when you are reading out loud. Another thought is that you could highlight the parts that aren't working for you. Consider what is wrong with them and try improving it one sentence at a time. Think about word choice; are you using the strongest/most appropriate word? How could you rearrange the sentence to make it more concise/clear? Are you using varying lengths of sentences? Do you sentences all began with the same word? Do you use a word too frequently?Are you telling or showing, and if you are telling, how can you rearrange the writing in order to show things instead? What parts feel dry/cheesy/boring to you and why do they feel that way?

I do think that getting feedback would also help for this. If you are using poor word choice or ineffective sentence structuring, it can really hinder the writing. These things may not be things you directly notice, but chances are someone else will.

And, as many people have said, write! Write lots, write often. Try to think about your work critically and understand why it doesn't come alive, and then write some more, applying what you've learnt.

Anyway, hope that helps! I'm not a pro, but those are things that have helped me.

 

[Fishbowl Helmet]

Pick up a copy of Self-Editing for Fiction Writers. It's a great book. Can't recommend it enough.

Chuck Wendig's site (terribleminds.com) has a lot of tip posts.

LitReactor has a mess of Chuck Palahniuk articles that are all writing tips.

For what it's worth, here's some of mine...

0. Scenes should "be in a location and feature a character with a goal that is in conflict with another character." Start late and get out early. Start the scene when the conflict starts, end the scene either when the conflict is over or after the character has reacted to the conflict. Don't forget to let your characters react to things, make the decision what to do next, and use that to drive the next scene.

1. Structure is just an escalating chain of cause-and-effect, action-reaction. As long as the words "therefore" or "but" connect one scene to the next, and things get worse for the characters from beginning to end, you should be close enough.

2. Dialogue in novels isn't real world speech. Cut out the boring bits and don't let your characters be too on the nose.

3. Verbs are your friend. Flaccid and placid verbs are death. You don't have to go to the purple side, but verbs carry a lot of weight. Use them well. "He walked to the door" is meh. "He sauntered to the door" is slightly better and adds characterization.

4. Action is the ball in sport. The reader follows it wherever it goes. It's a volleyball, hit from one side to the other, constantly going back and forth. Don't jar the reader by having your characters do lots of stuff without any response from who or what they're acting against. (Cause-and-effect, action-reaction).

5. Default to first person or close third. They're the easiest to do right. Describe what the POV character feels, don't state the emotion they feel. "I was pissed" is kinda bad. "My cheeks flushed and I couldn't help but clench my fists" is terrible prose, but it's better than the first. Conversely, only describe the outward effect of emotion in others, what could be seen on camera.

6. Don't be nice to your characters. They exist solely for you to kick in the teeth. So start kicking.

7. Avoid filter words that distance the reader from the action. Saw, looked, watched, and others focus the reader on the character passively interacting with what's happening. Tighten that by cutting out the filter words. Focus on what's important. "He watched as the fighter crashed" is very different from "The fighter crashed". The first focuses on the character doing the watching, so it should be important, like say someone he cares about is on the fighter. The second focuses on the action. Most of your stuff should tend to be the latter, but the former has its place. Use either when they're called for, but know why you're using one instead of the other.

 

[Susan Boulton]

As everyone else has said, read, write, rinse and repeat. The rinsing being having your work critiqued/beta'd, which is an incredibly important learning tool.

This.

Never used, "how to books", except for help with POV and grammar. I found the more I read and wrote, the more I learned how to handle characters and plot.

Also a good critique group are worth their weight in gold.

 

[sknox]

Asking how to improve prose assumes there is a single measuring stick. There are things we can easily point to and say "don't do this" but that's about as far as universal advice can go.

This is why everyone says to write something and then get feedback on it. You cannot ask how to improve prose, but you can ask how do I improve *this*.

 

[Brian G Turner]

0. Scenes should "be in a location and feature a character with a goal that is in conflict with another character." Start late and get out early. Start the scene when the conflict starts, end the scene either when the conflict is over or after the character has reacted to the conflict. Don't forget to let your characters react to things, make the decision what to do next, and use that to drive the next scene.

...

7. Avoid filter words that distance the reader from the action. Saw, looked, watched, and others focus the reader on the character passively interacting with what's happening. Tighten that by cutting out the filter words. Focus on what's important. "He watched as the fighter crashed" is very different from "The fighter crashed". The first focuses on the character doing the watching, so it should be important, like say someone he cares about is on the fighter. The second focuses on the action. Most of your stuff should tend to be the latter, but the former has its place. Use either when they're called for, but know why you're using one instead of the other.

Especially loved these two pieces of advice.

 

[Stephen Palmer]

Think of prose as music. It has to sound right. It has to have punctuation in the right place. It has to be well arranged and with the correct instruments.

 

[tinkerdan]

The fact of not leaping out of the page might be a good sign, it means you know you need to work on it some more.

It's frustrating. I have all these great stories dreamed up, but when I put them on paper they just don't leap out of the page like I'd want. Not always, but all too frequently, the wording is, put bluntly, drab or sounds like a round of cheddar cheese—even after multiple rewrites.

Conversely when everything does start leaping at you it's time to have the second set of eyes look at it, although it might help to read it aloud since that often puts many a leaping prose in its place.

 

[A. Fare Wells]

Thank you all for taking the time to respond. I suppose it all boils down to hammering away until the dots connect and I'm satisfied with the result and then putting it out there for critical analysis. At least there's no deadline associated with it.

 

[Wizraban]

As for books, there is Elements of Style by Strunk & White. It's a bit short and not specifically geared to novel writers, but contains some useful advice.

Is is probably best to keep some broad principles in mind and develop a sense for how to apply them. The principles would be something along the lines of: be specific, clear and brief, write vividly, show, don't tell, vary your style.

Consider the following examples:

"There was a period of bad weather." This is much too vague and needs to be more concrete. "It rained heavily for several days." is better, but not very vivid, due to the use of an adverb, an adjective and the subject "it". So we could invigorate it some more and end up with: "Rain poured down for days on end."

"A strange noise sounded, making him uneasy." This sounds a little dull. The words are again too broad and the uneasiness could be shown rather that just stated. "An eerie howl sent shivers down his spine."

"The birds were singing." How about this: "A starling perched on a fencepost and sang his courtship song." The trick here is to narrow down the focus and use more detail.

 

[tinkerdan]

The birds were noisy, making him uneasy after the period of bad weather. It was bad enough to be lost, but now nature was conspiring to kill him. Jimmy sat wiping the salty rain from his face; he sniffed air that reminded him of the freshener in the bathroom at home.

"There was a period of bad weather." This is much too vague and needs to be more concrete. "It rained heavily for several days." is better, but not very vivid, due to the use of an adverb, an adjective and the subject "it". So we could invigorate it some more and end up with: "Rain poured down for days on end."

"A strange noise sounded, making him uneasy." This sounds a little dull. The words are again too broad and the uneasiness could be shown rather that just stated. "An eerie howl sent shivers down his spine."

"The birds were singing." How about this: "A starling perched on a fencepost and sang his courtship song." The trick here is to narrow down the focus and use more detail.