Inserting extra scenes.

[Tyburn]

I'm adding some extra scenes to my work in order to flesh it out a bit - not just as filler, but it provides a bit of extra work and charcterisation for under-used characters.

The question I wanted to ask was how far to go with it? I've put in a scene a couple of chapters in where Lt. Church (the American spaceman whose emergency call drives much of the plot in the first half) has crash-landed and encounters some hostile locals.

If I leave it at that, the next time he's actually seen will be bound and drugged in a ballpit in the Dook's lair, where he's to be auctioned off to the highest bidder. Do you guys think it would be a good idea to put in another scene where he's taken to meet the Dook and gets to challenge his authority before he's drugged and tied up?

 

[jastius]

sounds like a great way to introduce characters without a info dump. action is showing versus description which is telling.

what about a bit where you can do some foreshadowing and introduce some plot twists? the results can jump in later... maybe even to show up in the third act?

 

[lauren$77]

Yeah, this Dook is a bad guy I presume, and there is nothing more fun than writing a conflict scene between antagonist and protagonist characters. Almost a shame to leave it out. There could be a struggle before he's drugged, and violently strung up. Good opportunity to show some insight into the thoughts of Dook aswell!

So I would write it!

 

[Tyburn]

Well, the foreshadowing I was thinking of was him thinking about his pocketwatch (a Chekov's gun) and thanking his lucky stars that it's safe on board his crashed ship so at least a rescue party will be able to retrieve it. It's later found to be a storage device for some very important data.

The rest of the book's already written, I'm putting in some extra story and characterisation.

If I do put in another scene with the Dook, I can always put in his chief bodyguard Jagwa, who does little in this book but comes into his own in the sequel. There is some foreshadowing regarding him already, a couple of characters noticing he's not like the rest of the Dook's men - more professional and almost like a special forces agent.

On the other hand, if Jagwa doesn't really do anything until the sequel, would it leave people hanging and wondering why the heck this guy's doing nothing except being mysterious and competent? (And) is that a good thing?

 

[LittleStar]

Open ended characters like Jagwa would be a good thing. He's there as a bad guy bodyguard, so people expect him to be the strong, silent, loyal kind of type. He is expected not to do too much, but to be there and be the muscle in case things go wrong. So he fulfills his role in the first book, whilst the other characters noticing him as 'off', sets his new role up for the sequel.
This is good foreshadowing for me, and while you get some readers who want all ends tied up, a few half-loose ones like Jagwa are a good thing for exactly this reason.

 

[Tyburn]

Thanks for the input. Yes, the Dook is the bad guy - or at least one of the bad guys. He's sort of the 'baddie of the week', while Grossadmiral 'Dark' Vaader is the proper villain of the series.

As for Jagwa (Asbosian for 'Jaguar', in case you hadn't already guessed), I'm getting the sense that Church could knock a few of the bodyguards about then go face-to-face against him before being hit by a quick-draw stun beam by Jagwa. I'm thinking the speed and accuracy of his shooting could make Church surprised at how damn good the guy is before he loses consciousness (again).

 

[krgreen]

The main thing I've found with adding in extra scenes for depth is "would a reader expect to see this next?" followed by "does it make sense to the storyline?"

Also, when I "decided" I needed a scene of X and Y talking, but came to write it, I was stuck. I didn't care because I wanted to find out what happened to S and T instead. I always think if I don't enjoy writing it, I wouldn't expect anyone to enjoy reading it.

In terms of your specific question, I'd be up for a bit of Jagwa as any kind of "prelude" to the sequel is helpful for when you come to write that. Could he play a semi-important (even if it's small) role so that I remember him in this book (ready for the sequel)?

 

[Tyburn]

The scenes answer the question "What happened to Church in between his crash-landing on Planet Asbo and when he's seen bound and drugged in the Dook's 'throne room'?", so I'd say yes to both points.

As for the Jagwa situation - he turns against the Dook whilst revealing his true identity and helps train and lead part of the ragtag guerilla army against the Space Nazis, whom the Dook has allied himself with. Being the Dook's former bodyguard and chief enforcer he destabilises and demoralises those who still stayed loyal to the Dook.