Show/tell/thoughts/motivations

[Tyburn]

I wanted to do that - have chapters with character names and the story coming from their viewpoints all through the chapter. Then the character list grew a bit too much for that.

One piece of advice I've heard is 'be brutal when editing'. It's probably better if you get to the end before you start any major editing work, at least that way you won't accidentally omit any small snippet of information which, at the time, seems insignificant but later has a huge impact on things. I've been guilty of that before - in a short serial I put together I had specific mention of the killer being left-handed and by the time I got to the climactic chase-fight-conclusion I'd completely forgotten about the fact I was going to make the guy who turned out to be the killer ambidextrous and that was what keyed the protagonist into it.

Exposition's good, but better when it doesn't seem like exposition. I have an early scene where Admiral of the Fleet the Right Honourable Sir Audley Bearable calls Captain Flight to give him his orders - something which would normally be blatant exposition. The fact that the Admiral delivers the orders in a code nobody could decipher means that Flight goes off in the wrong direction and has his adventures whilst the Admiral gets furious that he's (apparently) disobeyed orders.

[Edit: Actually, after thinking a little while about weaving in an extra plotline, I think I might have one. Flight encounters his old rival Space Captain Damien Drake early in the second chapter, I could get the Admiral to send Drake out to track down Flight with the intent of arresting him - it would make an interesting parallel when Flight has to arrest Drake in the sequel.]

 

[Jo Zebedee]

Hi Laeraneth and welcome! One of the things my critters picked up was that it did jar having one light against one heavy, so I'm working at narrowing the gap.

Just something to bear in mind having read both yours and Tyburn's posts above; it wasn't me spotted the problem with exposition! And it never has been. I write pretty tight, and all the scenes had been edited, albeit they're early versions, but it's my fab writing group and betas who picked it up.

We're too close to our own writing to ever tell this, no matter how experienced we are. (And to be fair, it was better in this one in early books where comments such as Hmmm there seems to be a lot of thinking going on, left me scratching my head.)

Have you both had someone else, preferably not family and friends, read over some of your stuff and give a view? It can be very illuminating, if painful.

 

[Laeraneth]

Thanks for the welcome!

I've not had anyone (besides family) look over any of it yet. At the moment, my main focus is to get the story told and in a decent way.

As a tiny bit of explanation (exposition? ) I've started my 'big story' a several times before over the last ten years (yep... the idea has been percolating for a long time!) in different ways and at different times, and always lost the drive for it as things started to feel dry and bland. Characters felt lifeless and flat. It got left for a while. Life got busy, things fell by the wayside, blah blah... excuses aplenty.

Anyway, this year I was determined to make a solid go of it. Initially I fell foul once again of it feeling dry and bland, then I realised that my big problem was that I can plot and scheme and plan all I want, but I'm not that great at characterisation and personality. (The same could be said of real life to be honest!)

So, this new story is set before the big story, and entirely about the characters themselves, it's my attempt to teach myself to write the PEOPLE, not just what's going on. After all, the characters are the most important part of any story.

So far, it feels good to me, and I guess that's what matters, as that's what's going to see me through to the end, but it does make me worry that the potentially excessive introspection might be dull.

I totally appreciate your experience in things (I got the impression from my week or so lurking that you're published and quite well versed in the industry?) and I'll definitely need more points of view once I get far enough to consider it 'finished'. Right now, I'm just intent on making sure I get to the 'finished' part so I have something complete to show people that I can revise and gut as needed.

The main thing at the moment though, is that it's still a pleasure to write it... maybe I finally cracked it!

 

[Jo Zebedee]

I totally appreciate your experience in things (I got the impression from my week or so lurking that you're published and quite well versed in the industry?) and I'll definitely need more points of view once I get far enough to consider it 'finished'. Right now, I'm just intent on making sure I get to the 'finished' part so I have something complete to show people that I can revise and gut as needed.

The main thing at the moment though, is that it's still a pleasure to write it... maybe I finally cracked it!

Not me. I probably just have a lot to say for myself! I'm like many of us here and hoping to write something that's good enough to get an agent.

long may you enjoy it! (I wrote my first book on and odd over twenty years and gave it up many times, but it's still my favourite world and characters to work on.)

 

[Laeraneth]

Heh, goes to show, I can't rely on lurking!

I have it in mind to be 'done' by my next birthday, which gives me just under three months. It should be enough... provided I don't let myself get too distracted!

I'm taking my mid-point (or 2/3rds point... whatever) as a good cue to go over the first couple of acts and make sure everything is in place and in line and so on, so that the culmination part has all necessary bits where they need to be.

I may be being optimistic, but... with any luck, by November, I'll be poking people here about best tips for agent finding!

 

[Jo Zebedee]

Poke us for crits, first! I blew so many chances with good agents by subbing before it was ready. Even short excerpts can throw up lots! Good luck with it.

 

[Laeraneth]

Thanks for the support!

I will do, I see there's a forum for just that, and should probably get practice with the challenges as well, they could be interesting.

From what I've seen of this place so far, it's a good place to be to find the kind of people that know what they're talking about and can offer good points of view on lots of aspects of writing.

To be honest... I should probably have gone looking for places like this about 8 years ago when I started to trying to write in earnest. Maybe then it wouldn't have taken so long to get where I am now! But never mind, eh? Spilled milk and all that

 

[Abernovo]

Welcome Laeraneth. Yes, join the challenges (there's one open now). Join in conversations and do crits for other members. Amazing how easy it is to realise, when looking at another person's work, 'that isn't quite working; hold on, I've done the same!'

As to eight years ago, well, you're here now. Best of luck with the writing.