Another Dream Sequence question.

[Tecdavid]

I mentioned a little while ago that my WiP's opening is a dream sequence, and that started a little discussion as to why that could be a problem. I've since written an alternative first chapter that avoids the whole thing, but I do think the original is best for conveying necessary details. However, when the original was recently critiqued, the narrative's 'Distant 3rd-person' point of view was mentioned as being bothersome. I could bring the narrative closer, but does anyone think that would the make the "dreamer”’s awakening, by the end of the chapter, much more jarring? How about peppering the chapter with fragmentary hints that the scene is, in fact, a dream, so to make the awakening less sudden?

Does anyone think those ideas could work in a dream sequence? Especially one that opens the story?

 

[Bowler1]

Does anyone think those ideas could work in a dream sequence? Especially one that opens the story?

I think your brave and I admire your stubborn streak, and I hope you get it to work for you.

Me however, the coward with a yellow streak a mile wide - I'd avoid the ambiguity in the opening sections.

 

[Tecdavid]

To be honest, Bowler, I think I would avoid it if I knew I could. The scene I shared was only part of a larger chapter, and far clearer information is conveyed throughout the rest of it. It's just that I'm not sure the writing style I've given that chapter works best.

 

[Hex]

er... this feels to me like a question for the Writing Group, Tecdavid. How about popping the (non-)offending chapter up there?

 

[The Judge]

If it helps, chapter 1 of my SF2 starts with a rather distant/omniscient-feel dream sequence (after an equally dis-orienting prologue) and it's been seen by an industry professional who made no comment on its inadvisibility. But it's clear within 150 words that it isn't reality and the word "dream" comes after another 90 words, and what happens in that dream is the direct cause of events in the bulk of the chapter.

So my advice is that at the very least you should give hints that it isn't reality, and those hints should be made broader and clearer as the chapter progresses.

 

[Bowler1]

So my advice is that at the very least you should give hints that it isn't reality, and those hints should be made broader and clearer as the chapter progresses.

I think Judge sums up my thoughts with a greater clarity than I've managed, must be the training those on the law profession get. Us accountants operate in grey areas, we even have gray suits! I think it needs to be clear for the reader, otherwise it may be misleading. Which is where I think the problem currently is. Your operating a slightly different style to your norm with a dreamlike feel. I'm picking up on that feel but as the reader the reason for the different feel has not been pointed out me.

I think this is a valid writers question, so belongs in this section. When shifting gears and style, sometimes just telling (I still maintain telling as a writing tool has it's place, just don't over do it) as a tool will keep the reader with you. N Asher (in my oponion only) uses a narrative and telling style, and he does alright. So clarity for the reader as Judge very clearly pointed out, I think is key.

 

[Glisterspeck]

Like others have said, you'll need to avoid the bait and switch effect some how. I don't start any book with a dream, but I do introduce a character with her visions. It's easy for me because I don't have to drop out of close third as they go to sleep; I'm never having to describe a sleeping person, which is what I would think you'd want to avoid.

The other thing is, if you stick with a dream sequence, you really have to nail it. It has to be twice as good as any other opening, or you'll have people roll their eyes and say, you really shouldn't start with a dream sequence. I understand that thought; when I used to teach photography, I had to ban photos of railroad tracks and fire hydrants in the beginning class, because that all I ever saw. Still, every couple years, I'd get a pretty awesome photo of a railroad track. So...

 

[Beef]

I think the problem with kicking things off with a dream sequence is that you haven't established a norm in terms of the writing style. If you suddenly switch things around, and the prose suddenly gets a little more florid (for example), the reader is going to think 'something weird is happening here, this isn't how things have been up to this point'.

If you kick things off with a dream, you are delaying that point where you ground the reader and say 'hey, this is what normal is like'.

Like any opening, you need to find a way to make a promise to your reader: that things are going to get concrete in the future, and to have a little patience because you're going somewhere cool with this. A reader can't trust any promises you might make in a dream because they know that it isn't real.

Dream sequences are a major pain, especially if you are crazy enough to make them a major indespensable plot element. I feel your pain, seriously!

Good luck!

 

[Tecdavid]

TJ and Bowler, that's exactly what I've been wondering whether to do. If I were to bring the narrative 'closer' to the dream's characters, but perhaps drop a few "separated" paragraphs throughout which attest to it being a dream, maybe I could make it more engaging while also lessening the shock that comes with a bait-and-switch...
Then again, I wonder whether a contrast between closely-narrated paragraphs and distantly-narrated paragraphs would be jarring in itself... Hmm...

The chapter has been given praise before, Glisterspeck, with the way I handled the dream actually being something one or two readers liked! Still, that was the whole chapter they saw, not an excerpt, and maybe their opinions don't reflect those of a wider audience (or maybe they were doing that whole "politeness" thing for me ).

So maybe you're right, Hex - maybe showing the whole chapter to the Group would be useful.

And Beef, I agree entirely on the "normal writing style" point. I intentionally made the PoV distant, to convey a sort of bird's-eye-view/disembodied look across the scene, which isn't reflective of the story's norm.