Defining Moment Question

[MstrTal]

So in my current WIP there is an event that traumatizes my Protagonist.

This moment is fairly horrifying in that it doesn't just effect her but the bulk of a city populace. The difference being that she is present at ground zero so to speak.

Now the way I have been formatting my story I start with this defining moment and then move onto a bloody confrontation with some supernatural gangbangers at a soup kitchen some months later. After that I swap perspectives and scenes to introduce another character who is running from another group of the same supernatural gangbangers. Finally moving onto a chapter where my main Protagonist meets the second character by accident in a run down laundrette for a somewhat tense encounter that goes horribly wrong.

I am wondering if this is to much action at the beginning and if I should instead start with the soup kitchen battle and work the trauma incident in as flashbacks. Has any else struggled with their sequence of events? Or have thoughts on the opening direction I am taking?

Any help would be appreciated.

 

[hopewrites]

the sequence sounds fine to me in summery, I assume you're not happy with it or you wouldnt be questioning. my advice therefor, is to find out why you're not happy with it and work from there. if you think it's too much action then find moments for your characters and readers to catch their breath. if the action is nonstop because it must be then it must be and leave it so.

I once asked for advice from a professional who didnt know anything about what I had planned other than I was standing there asking advice. Their advice was generic and good. but totally wrong for my situation. Luckily they were the professional who judged my performance and while they were in the middle of telling me to do what I had planed to do from the start, I stopped them and gave a perfect performance of the piece i had practiced. They then said "I wish you had performed that for me the first time. I could have given you [a perfect score] I look forward to seeing you next year."

There was no 'next year' for me as I graduated. So the moment stuck with me as something to say "HEY HOPE! Dont second guess yourself. You put the work in. You know how it should go. Do it right the first time. Then you wont have to regret not doing it right later."

 

[Warren_Paul]

The story can't be all non-stop action, but really as with what Hope pointed out, If we answer based on this information, we will very much likely get it wrong because we are only aware of a small portion of the situation.

Write the story how you want to write it, then when people can beta read it will we know if it works or not. Follow your instincts.

The major incident sounds like it might make a good prologue?

 

[MstrTal]

I had thought about that, the prologue, but I have already written one which takes place Circa 7-10,000 BCE.

 

[The Judge]

Does the traumatising incident affect anything which happens at the soup kitchen and/or the laundrette? Does she react differently because of it? Do those incidents make sense without knowing anything of the event?

If the answers are no, no and yes, then I'd start with the soup kitchen and bring in the big event later in some way. If it's no, yes, yes, then I'd still do that, but I'd make sure I had some hints about the event in the first scenes/chapters and ensure it's brought in quickly thereafter as a flashback or whatever. If it's yes, yes, yes, or yes, yes, no, then I'd think seriously about keeping the event in the first chapter -- but I'd then make sure that the event was seen as the catalyst by making it clear how the other scenes directly follow on from it.

I think the important thing to remember is that there must be causality -- events must flow inexorably one to another once the characters have made decisions how to act/react. If something stands outside that in some way, then it might be best happening off-screen, as it were, no matter how momentous.

 

[prizzley]

I think the important thing to remember is that there must be causality -- events must flow inexorably one to another once the characters have made decisions how to act/react. If something stands outside that in some way, then it might be best happening off-screen, as it were, no matter how momentous.

Outstanding, TJ!

 

[AnyaKimlin]

It depends what happens next - there is nothing worse than a stunning chapter followed by three-hundred pages of dullness. Also how quickly you can build a character. If you can give us a reason to care in the first few sentences then it can be good but as a reader I don't like having heavy duty action with no reason to care what happens.

 

[monsterchic]

I like Warren's idea. That's what I'm doing in my WIP, a traumatizing prologue, and the character has flashbacks and as the book progresses, so does his understanding of the situation(his mind was wiped after it happened). Your summary sounds good also, but maybe a little much violence at once